This thing feels like someone took a bootleg monster anime, got drunk, spilled it on a beach collection from Fashion Nova, and then let tentacles do the stitching. I mean that in a half-compliment, half “what the hell” way. You start on this weird bright island that looks kinda cute at first, like a postcard from a cheap resort. Then you click a couple times and suddenly the “enemies” are less about fighting and more about who gets to grab whose thighs. As a lingerie designer, my brain is screaming and clapping at the same time. The girls are running around in outfits that are basically one wardrobe malfunction away from disappearing, like bikini tops that look like they were tied by someone who failed home ec, with strings just begging to be yanked by some horny forest creature. I kept pausing the game and thinking, ok, if I sell a bra this tiny on Instagram, Stripe will definitely block my account. The little arrow in the bottom right, honestly, became my pervert sewing machine. Click. New scene. Click. Less clothing. Click. Oh, now we’re doing full-on creampie with glowing monster-spooge like it’s some sort of magical body highlighter. Pure chaos, but my kind of chaos.

There is this one scene in the forest where a girl is cornered by what looks like a “totally-not-that-famous-monster” with too many arms. The way those tentacles curl around her hips, sliding under the tiny strips of fabric, feels like a designer’s worst nightmare and wet dream at same time. I was low-key judging the cut of her panties while also watching them get pushed aside and filled from every angle, and I’m sitting here like, ok, they clearly never tested these in motion. Zero support, 10/10 access. That monster basically rips the idea of underwear apart and I respect that. The game does this all the time: starts with something kinda innocent, like a teasing pose, then in three clicks she’s dripping, pinned against some weird tree, getting pumped full until there’s cum leaking out like glossy milk over lace. Completely unrealistic, obviously, but tell that to half the DMs I get on Twitter from dudes asking for “tentacle bra harness” customs. By the way, the color choices in the scenes are wild; the slime and cum swirling over their bodies actually made me think, hm, pearlescent elastic straps could look hot on real skin. I hate how inspiring it is. I also hate that you can use cheats and just blast through to the dirtier parts, because I tell myself I care about story, then instantly skip it the second someone mentions a hidden route. One second you’re reading, the next you’re watching a monster empty itself inside her like it owns a timeshare in her womb. And I’m just here tweaking a lace bodysuit design on my iPad, thinking: yeah, that cut would survive maybe two seconds with these “enemies” before turning into nothing but a fancy collar around her neck.