This thing feels like some horny isekai fever dream that someone scribbled out between classes, then decided “yeah, good enough, let’s make it real.” You wake up in this kinda-normal, kinda-wrong world that looks suspiciously like the boring life you already have, just with more cute girls who actually notice you and way less dignity. It’s all very slice of life on the surface: hanging around, small talk, stupid jokes about everyday stuff. Then suddenly a girl leans in way too close, says something filthy with a straight face, and you realize this “alternative life” is basically your browser history turned into a visual novel plot. Not that I’m complaining. Well, maybe a little.

What I really liked is how it doesn’t try to be deep. The story plays out like casual shitposting that somehow grew arms, legs, and big tits. One minute you’re talking about something mundane, like schedules or food or whatever, next minute she’s teasing you about your dick like it’s just part of the conversation, no big deal. The comedy isn’t subtle at all, half the time it’s just pure horny brain, but it lands more often than it should. Some of the girls act like they’re in a parody and they know you’re the main character, and they lean into it hard. There’s that classic vibe of “oh no, I tripped and sat on your lap” except here they pretty much say “yeah, I want your cock in me, what are you going to do about it?” It pretends to be wholesome for about three seconds, then ruins it on purpose. The MC himself is kind of a dumbass but in a relatable way, like the kind of guy who overthinks everything and then says the worst possible line. At least he’s not mute. I hate mute protagonists. Here he jokes, he panics, he stares at boobs way too long, and people actually react to it.

The whole thing has that 2dcg VN style where you just click through scenes, follow dialogue, and watch your “alternative life” spiral into a harem mess. Girls show affection in different ways: some are annoyingly sweet, some roast you like it’s their full-time job, some basically scream “fuck me” with their eyes. Not all routes feel equally fleshed out though. There were moments when a scene was building up to something hot, tension rising, hands wandering, clothes starting to slip, and then it just cuts to another day with a joke. I actually yelled at my screen once. Also, small stupid thing, but the sound effects volume feels a bit off sometimes and it bothers me way more than it should, like a tiny fly buzzing around a blowjob scene. Porn logic everywhere of course, but that’s the point. You get the usual harem chaos: multiple girls vying for you, lots of flirty banter, plenty of lewd CGs that don’t try to be artsy, just straight up “here’s her pussy, enjoy.” It’s messy, funny, horny, and somehow still feels like that comfy “coming home and opening the same VN app again” habit you pretend you don’t have.

You start as this so‑called “master hentai artist” who secretly can’t draw for shit, which already made me laugh, because same. Instead of learning anatomy, you get handed this shady alien camera that literally pops you into different anime timelines and lets you shoot lewd pics of characters in their own world. The game doesn’t pretend to be deep art or whatever. It’s more like: here’s a horny excuse to stalk Nico Robin across One Piece moments and see how many times you can make her blush, moan, then pretend she’s still in control. You’re this clueless virgin guy trying to act professional while your hands are shaking because her tits are basically in your face during “photo sessions”.

The “VN with puzzles” thing is actually funny, because half the time the “puzzle” is just you trying to not stare at her tits while you solve some tiny logic thing or pattern thing that unlocks the next scene. You think you’re here to click through dialogue, then suddenly you’re matching stuff under time pressure while Robin is teasing you on screen, leaning forward, sucking on a lollipop way too slow, talking about “better angles” for the shots. First time she let me “adjust” her pose, I thought it’d just be a static change, and then she actually started moving, riding the invisible camera, full animated tits bouncing while your character tries to keep his composure. My mouse hand was absolutely not used for aiming at that point.

There’s a moment where you fuck up the task and instead of a normal “fail” screen, Robin basically climbs into your space, grabs you by the collar and says you’ll have to “pay for wasting her time”. That switches into a sequence where you’re flat on your back, she’s on top, rubbing herself on your dick through clothes first, super slow, lots of teasing. She keeps stopping right before sliding you in, asking stupid questions like “is this your first time?” while you’re clearly about to explode. When she finally sinks down on you, it hits extra hard because the game held you on that edge for too long. Creampie is not optional either. She pushes your hips in when you try to pull out, almost mocking you, telling you to “fill your own masterpiece”. It’s dirty in that way that feels more playful than cruel, like she enjoys seeing you lose control. And then you get thrown back into another timeline, acting like a “pro hentai photographer” again while your legs are still shaking.

Oral and titfuck scenes feel like rewards for poking around every little option. One run I kept choosing the slightly polite answers and ended up with Robin on her knees, pretending it’s a “research on male stamina”. She takes your cock between her boobs first, rubbing oil on them, pressing them together so tight it almost looks painful, then licking the tip every time it pops out. When she finally takes you in her mouth, the camera framing changes just enough to show spit and tongue, and it’s weird how proud I felt when she gagged a bit. Another time I played the idiot and pushed every teasing dialogue line and she just shut me up with a deepthroat scene with zero warning. No romance, just “fine, if you’re that desperate” and she goes all the way down. The game kind of teaches you that different choices lead to different flavors of the same kink, which for replay freaks like me is... dangerous. I kept telling myself “ok, last route” while my browser had like 12 auto‑save files.

The group stuff catches you off guard too, because you think it’s just Robin for a while, then suddenly the device drops you in a scenario where there are other bodies around, and the vibe changes from intimate teasing to “oh shit, I’m actually the center of a small orgy now”. Robin does not get jealous. She gets competitive. There’s this part where she pulls you out of another girl’s mouth and wraps her own lips around the tip, eyes locked on the other girl like “see, this is how you do it”. You end up switching holes, positions, angles so fast it almost feels like a mini puzzle scene where the solution is “everybody gets a turn on your cock”. At one point you’re buried inside Robin’s pussy, another girl riding your face, and someone yelling about needing a “better shot” for the sensei. I kind of wished there was a simple free mode without all the clicking so I could just, you know, enjoy, but no, you’re still juggling inputs while three women argue about who gets the last creampie.

What I really liked is how the game absolutely knows you’re playing a virgin dork and never lets you forget it. Even when you’ve already fucked Robin raw, she still treats you like a student when you hold the camera, correcting your posture while her ass brushes your crotch, telling you to “focus on the subject” while her nipple is practically resting on your cheek. It’s not realistic at all, obviously, but it nails that fantasy where you’re useless at real art, yet somehow every hot girl in the timeline wants to help you “practice” by wrapping their thighs around your waist. My notes app on my phone literally has a line that just says “Robin, oil, puzzle timer, holy shit” from when I had to pause the scene because I almost failed the minigame while she was bouncing on my lap.

And there is that tiny annoying thing where the teasing can drag a bit too long before you finally get to pound her properly, but then when she’s riding you and you’re forced to watch her face up close, hair sticking to her cheeks, moaning something about “perfect composition” right as you cum inside her, suddenly that complaint didn’t matter anymore and I forgot what I wanted to say in the first place.

Reika’s whole deal hooked me way faster than I expected. She’s this super competent agent from Solara HQ, all cool and collected, but the main plot is basically, “my husband’s dick got cursed and now I have to work with this greasy engineer dude to fix it.” It sounds like hentai mad libs, I know, but it actually lands. You’re in this mix of mission briefings and quiet lab scenes, watching her try to stay loyal while the game very slowly, almost teasingly, pushes her into messed up situations. The nice part is they don’t shove the NTR in your face from the start. It’s like it’s hiding behind the UI, behind silhouettes, behind those blurred and pixelated bits that you pretend you hate but keep leaning toward the screen to see better. There’s this one scene where you only get Reika’s outline against a workshop light, and you can hear Fredric shifting closer, see his hand kind of implied on her hip, and nothing “official” happens, but you already feel that sick horny mix of “oh no” and “okay but yes.” Then later the same space is reused and your brain fills in the gaps. It’s cheap as hell and also kind of genius.

The 3D bodies are doing the heavy lifting here. Reika is built like some artist’s long-running fantasy project: big chest, big ass, curves that look like they’re trying to break out of the tactical suit. The breasts have this weight that reacts nicely when she turns or leans, not super polished AAA level, but there’s enough jiggle and dragging motion that your lizard brain applauds. The faces are a bit jank sometimes, like her expression slides between “worried wife” and “posed VR chatbot” too fast, and once her mouth looked slightly off center and now I can’t unsee it. The pixelated sex bits are weird in a fun way. You get these animated loops where everything important is censored into chunky pixels, but the motion is very detailed, hips grinding, fingers clenching, fluids clearly there even if you only see them as little bright squares. It kind of feels like watching someone’s hard drive from 2008 got remastered into a VN. And yeah, the NTR angle is “hidden,” but only in the sense that the husband is almost never fully present while all this shit happens around his situation. You get these scenes where Reika is talking about curing him while her body language is slowly surrendering to other hands and mouths, and the game just treats it like normal mission progress. It never screams “hey, you’re being cucked,” it just lets you connect that the cure is taking very long and Fredric is suddenly very “close” to her in the animations. There’s even a moment where the camera lingers way too long on the husband’s sleeping, useless crotch while you already know what Reika did a couple scenes ago, and it hits harder than any explicit shot would. I still hate that one sound effect for the door in the lab, by the way, it’s like a microwave and a printer had a baby, they keep using it, and it completely pulls me out every time, but then Reika bends over some console and I forget what I was complaining about.

Wet Sand feels like somebody mashed together a horny Wattpad pirate fanfic with a decent point and click game, then actually bothered to make the sex look hot. You play as Fabian, this "oops I’m a captain now" guy who basically gets thrown onto a ship, surrounded by cutthroats and horny weirdos, and somehow every crisis turns into flirting or someone on their knees. It starts kind of light, just you poking around the ship, clicking barrels, checking cabins, reading little notes, that kind of usual VN rhythm. Then suddenly you’re in a cabin with a monster girl with fins on her hips, and she’s teasing you about being too soft for pirate life while she’s literally licking your cock like it’s some sacred ritual. The game does this a lot: calm scene, bit of worldbuilding, then bam, blowjob with heavy breathing and wet sounds in your headphones. I was playing with Spotify open, then had to slam it off because the moans and gulping felt way more intense than my sad indie playlist. Also, side note, whoever handled the animations likes saliva. A lot. The camera just hangs there on lips, tongue, that string of drool sliding down, and it kind of overstays but also I didn’t skip. Not even once.

The funniest thing is how it pretends to be all "serious pirate adventure" and then keeps nudging you straight into horny trouble. You talk to this one pirate girl who looks almost normal at first, just a bit too pale, long hair, sexy smirk, and then she flashes her teeth and yeah, those are not human. She threatens to eat you and then, of course, decides oral in a totally different sense is better. The game throws in romantic vibes too, like soft candle light, slow talking, some lines that try really hard to be poetic. Sometimes it works and you get this cozy, almost wholesome scene where a monster girl curls around you in the bunk and talks about old gods while stroking your chest. Sometimes it’s cringe as hell but in a charming way, like a horny teenager wrote the dialogue after watching Black Sails on mute. There’s a small moment on deck that stuck with me: you’re choosing how to handle a crew argument, very basic VN choice stuff, and if you pick the more caring option, later one of the girls thanks you by getting on her knees behind some crates while the crew is nearby. That sneaky public-but-not-quite tension hit way harder than the more "epic" scenes with tentacles in the background and ancient statues looking at you. I give Wet Sand the highly scientific award of "Best Use Of A Ship’s Storage Room To Suck A Captain Dry" because that cramped little space ends up way more memorable than the giant god scenes.

What I liked is that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. The romance is there, yeah, but the game knows you’re here for pirates and monster girls deepthroating the captain until he forgets his own name. Sometimes the pacing just collapses, like you go from talking about fate and curses, to two seconds later staring at jiggling tits bouncing in a loop while she moans your name, and it feels like the story lost its train of thought as badly as you did. But somehow that fits. The fantasy world feels lived in, even if half the lore is delivered between spits of cum and sloppy kisses. There’s a scene where the girl wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, laughs, and casually goes, "Captain, the sea took your fear, but I’ll take something better," and it sounds corny written down, but in context, with the animation and her eyes shining a bit too bright, it just clicks. I kept thinking, "this is trashy," while clicking to the next sex scene as fast as possible. That contradiction kind of is the mood of the whole thing. Wet Sand is messy, horny, sometimes dumb, sometimes weirdly tender, and it keeps shoving you into the role of this clueless guy who stumbles from pirate drama to monster girl oral like it’s the most natural path.

I wasn’t even sure why I clicked “play” on this thing, maybe boredom, maybe curiosity, maybe just that dumb impulse you get when your brain wants something soft and warm to sink into. The game pretends to be about family drama and old memories, but five minutes in you realize it’s really about staring at people too long and overthinking every choice that might lead to someone taking their clothes off. Which sounds cheap, but it isn’t? Or maybe it *is*, and that’s kinda the charm. There’s this weird pacing, like half soap opera, half porno, with pauses long enough for you to question what you’re doing with your life before the next moan interrupts. Aunt Megan shows up looking like a walking contradiction - proper tone, dirty eyes - and I kept thinking, “she knows exactly what she’s doing.” Then forgot all about that thought when the screen went dark because I missed a dialogue cue.

What surprised me most: the teasing is actually… patient. Like, the game doesn’t rush. It lets you stew. Everyone’s pretending not to notice how tight the air gets whenever the MC walks into a room, and those moments hit harder because they feel almost accidental. One scene - with the older woman bent over a kitchen counter complaining about her back - had more tension than any of the “explicit” ones. Don’t even get me started on the small-tit character, she’s written like she’s always two seconds away from snapping at you, then does something so soft you forget what she said. Kinda embarrassing how much that worked on me. The sound design helps too - not high-budget, but the little sighs, the way footsteps echo on tile floors, it bleeds realism in all the wrong ways.

Anyway, I was gonna complain about how some routes feel half-finished, how the interracial scenes pop up outta nowhere, but then again, maybe that’s part of the mess. It feels human in that sense - uneven, horny, sentimental, lazy, weirdly tender. I stopped trying to find the “point” halfway through. Maybe that’s when it got good.

Stocklinburg looks like one of those shiny “future of your career” cities, but in this game it’s basically horny Hogwarts for lawyers. You’re this 18 year old dude who shows up thinking about law textbooks and courtroom drama, and five minutes later you’re wondering if you’re about to get a blowjob from a woman who could legally be your professor, your landlady, or your worst mistake. The whole thing has that messy college vibe: bad decisions, good bodies, and way too many situations where you’re supposed to focus on contracts while someone’s tits are bouncing in front of you. The story hits you like a bunch of spicy quiz questions back to back. “Do you grope her in the hallway when nobody’s watching?” “Do you pull your hand away and pretend to be a good boy?” “Do you stay up reading cases, or jerk yourself raw thinking about the milf from earlier who nearly crushed your face between her thighs?” Every choice feels like some horny personality test with no safe answer, only different flavors of trouble.

The female domination angle sneaks up on you. One moment you’re teasing a shy girl on campus and feeling all alpha, next moment there’s an older woman with perfect hair and a smug smile telling you to sit, open your mouth, and be useful. There’s a scene where you’re in what’s supposed to be a study session and she leans over, pops a button, and just rests her tits on the table like they’re part of the lesson. You’re there trying to remember what the hell a tort is while she wraps her hand around your cock under the desk, whispering that good students know how to obey. Later, she flips you on your back, uses a toy on you just to watch you squirm, and when you finally get to fuck her, you think you’re in charge. Spoiler: you’re really not. She guides your hips, tells you how fast to thrust, then drags you in deep for a creampie like she owns your future and your balls at the same time. Kind of hot, kind of terrifying, 10/10 would fail that exam again. There’s also this thing the game does with animation during titfucks and oral scenes that’s too smooth, like it’s trying to distract you from the fact that the MC is supposed to be studying. And masturbation scenes hit way too close to reality: you, alone in your tiny student room, phone in hand, trying not to moan while you replay that one moment where she pushed your face between her breasts and told you, very clearly, what would happen if you disappointed her. Honestly, I opened it thinking “ok, funny little lewd college VN” and closed it wondering why my brain now thinks “legal paperwork” means “someone is about to sit on my face”.

There is this pretty ordinary looking bar game that kind of pretends to be about “business” and “renovation” and whatever, but honestly it is about staring at hot women in tight clothes while pretending you care about paint colors. You play this guy who comes back to his hometown to reopen his dad’s old place, and right away the game starts mixing that “I want to make my father proud” vibe with “I want to fuck basically everyone who lives under this roof”. Very Greek tragedy, if Euripides had a Pornhub premium account. The whole thing feels like a visual novel that accidentally read too much Bukowski and then watched hentai compilations on Twitter. Most scenes are from the hero’s POV so you’re not just watching, you are literally stuck behind his eyes while he tries not to stare at asses and obviously fails. It’s that slow teasing that gets you: brushing against a thigh “by accident”, a too-long hug in the kitchen, a towel slipping just enough when she bends to pick something, the camera angle doing 90% of the work.

The game likes to pretend it’s romantic, and sometimes it really is. There are these quiet moments where you sit with the MILF character on the couch, she talks about regrets and age and the bar’s past, and you almost forget you spent the previous scene with your hand on her ass while she “helped” you clean the counter. Then it goes from emotional to horny in one line of dialogue. You’ll be talking about invoices and suddenly you are in the stockroom, her back against the crates, your hand under her shirt, groping her tits while she bites her lip and tries not to moan too loud because someone might walk by. The animations sell it pretty hard: hands actually squeeze, hips grind, mouths open and drool a bit when they lose control. First time you push a girl to a messy ahegao during a handjob and she looks half broken, half delighted, it’s like some weird crossover between Joyce’s stream of consciousness and “oh shit, she’s actually into this”. The voyeurism stuff sneaks up on you too; one night you wander the house, see a door slightly open, and you can just stand there and watch her on her bed, fingers buried between her thighs, whispering your name while you do nothing but breathe. Or you do something. The game lets you decide if you stay in the shadows jerking off silently, or you step inside and end up with her mouth full of you, warm spit running down your shaft while she stares up, eyes watering, waiting for that mouthful of cum like some bizarre holy communion.

Sex scenes escalate in a way that feels messy and human instead of clinical. The first time you finally fuck one of them, it is not Olympic porn star performance. It starts with awkward kissing, some shy oral where she tries to take you deeper and gags, pulls back with tears in her eyes and then insists she wants it again. You get that clumsy first vaginal sex where she’s still technically a virgin and keeps telling you to go slow, nails digging in your shoulders when you push in all the way. Later she’s riding you on a barstool, panties pushed to the side, your cock sliding in and out while you try to keep quiet because, yes, the front door is not locked. Anal comes in as this “we really shouldn’t” moment after she’s already dripping from regular sex; you spit in your hand, rub her tight little hole, she curses you in that half joking way and then you press in and feel her whole body shiver in the animation. Creampies happen a lot, probably more than is medically responsible. You finish inside, watch the cum slowly leak out of her swollen pussy, sometimes from her ass, sometimes filling her mouth until she gives you that stupid happy ahegao face and swallows with a loud gulp. There’s humour everywhere, dumb jokes about drink names while her hand is stroking you under the counter, flirting that feels like those horny Discord servers where everyone pretends to be ironic and then starts cybering anyway. It’s not subtle, it’s not elegant, it’s just this strange mix of romance, filth, and renovation spreadsheets that somehow works until you catch yourself caring which wall you paint while replaying the memory of her moaning your name in your head.

You’re a rookie reporter who clearly skipped the “professional distance” chapter in journalism school. The game drops you back in your hometown with a shiny new job at the top newspaper, but it feels less like serious reporting and more like a long, horny field trip where every “interview” can end with your dick somewhere it absolutely shouldn’t be. One minute you’re chasing a lead about some shady business deal, the next you’re on your knees under a desk, trying to keep eye contact with your source while she’s forcing her cock-wet lips down on you and whispering, “Ask better questions.” It’s that kind of story. The whole thing plays like a visual novel with choices that pretend to be about ethics and truth, but half the time you’re just deciding if you want your face between her thighs or under her feet. When your editor calls you into her office, you expect a lecture. Instead you get her sitting on the edge of her desk in a tight blouse, tits about to pop out, and she shuts you up by shoving her foot into your lap and making you rub your cock against her sole until you’re leaking through your pants. Then she asks you for your article draft like nothing happened. I actually laughed out loud there, it felt wrong in a good way.

Sex is everywhere, but not in a soft fade-to-black way. The writing goes straight for it. There’s a scene with a politician’s wife who looks like she walked out from some old “serious interview” magazine cover, glasses, expensive dress, perfect big ass, the whole classy thing. She starts out teasing, brushing her thigh against you under the table while you’re trying to keep your recorder steady. Then she locks the door, kneels down, and you’re suddenly drowning in sloppy, noisy oral where she keeps eye contact and drool is sliding down your shaft. Later she rides you hard on a couch, tits bouncing in your face while she tells you not to stop asking questions, and when you finally push her on her stomach and go in her pussy from behind, the game really leans into describing how she’s clenching around you and begging you to pound her like you’re breaking some embargo. Anal is treated almost like a reward for pushing a scene far enough. There’s this moment on a rooftop with a rival journalist where she first jacks you off with her foot, pressing her heel against your balls, then she bends over the low wall, pulls her skirt up, and tells you “If you want this story, fuck my ass.” She’s tight, she grunts into her own arm, and the text is very direct about the way her asshole stretches and the way your cum fills her. No fading, no “tasteful” cut. You feel like a completely unethical bastard, and the game wants that.

The AI art is actually kinda weird in a charming way. Some shots are hot as hell, like the close-ups of wet lips around your cock, or the way their nipples poke through shirts when they lean over your desk. Sometimes fingers look a bit off or a foot angle feels strange when a girl is jerking you with her toes, but honestly, during a good blowjob scene, I forgot to care. One thing I didn’t like: the pacing sometimes goes from horny to “okay, now read five screens of investigation talk” at really random moments, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, the game jumps you into another sex scene with almost no build-up. It feels like the writer couldn’t decide if this is a serious adventure or just porn with a plot as a flimsy excuse. But that contrast also makes some moments hit harder. After a long bit where you’re actually chasing clues, you end up in a car with a source, rain outside, the city lights reflecting, and she just quietly unzips you and starts sucking you off while you’re pretending to go over notes. There is something very dirty about that calm, focused blowjob. I also kept tapping my screen trying to scroll back on one scene where you fuck this stacked receptionist against the office window, her tits smooshed on the glass while you slam in her pussy and she keeps moaning that someone below might see. The sound, the text, the way she keeps begging for more even after you cum inside her, telling you to stay hard and give her your dick again, felt way more intense than I expected from a horny little journalist game. I wanted more reactions from NPCs after all this abuse of power, but the story just shrugs and throws you to the next big-titted lead. Honestly, at some point I forgot if I was supposed to care about the mystery at all. I just kept following whatever route promised another scene where I’d get used as a human cock by someone who knows exactly how to play with my curiosity.

Christmas porn games almost never hit me in the right way. Mostly some lazy elf tits and a looped jingle that makes you want to mute your whole PC. This one actually felt like somebody drunk and horny tried to write a cheesy holiday romcom and then kept adding filth on top until it turned into a mess that somehow works. You show up in your hometown with this whole “I will fix my dad’s bar, I will be serious adult entrepreneur now” idea in your head, and five minutes later you’re basically Santa’s pervy helper, stuck in a house with three women who all have different ways to fuck with your brain and your dick. One is that soft “I remember when you were a cute kid” type, but now she bends over in yoga pants and you get these POV angles like the dev wants you to suffer. Another one is clearly trouble, all flirting and teasing, sitting on your lap “as a joke” while you try not to nut in your pants. The last one has that older woman energy, like she’s tired of the world, but every time she gives you that half smile you just know she’d ride you slow while drinking wine and pretending it’s nothing.

What I liked is how it mixes horny and stupid little holiday moments. One scene I had the dude sneaking out at night, spying through a cracked door while one of them is in this cheap sexy Santa outfit, touching herself on the couch with the tree lights blinking behind her. It’s dirty and kind of romantic at same time, which pisses me off because I came to jerk off and now my feelings are in the way. Maybe I’m just weak. The game throws these choices at you like “be a decent guy” or “grab that ass right now” and I swear sometimes the “good” choice feels more perverted because the camera lingers longer when you try to hold back. There is a handjob in front of the Christmas tree that escalates into a full blowjob and a messy mouth finish, and the way she looks up with that ahegao face is so over the top I actually laughed. Then kept clicking. Then hated myself a bit. And then clicked more. I tried to play it cool and go for slow romance at first, but the first time she presses that warm thigh against the MC under a blanket while snow falls outside, it’s like the game whispers “you’re not here for emotional growth, shut up and click the lewd choice.”

Sex scenes feel like a reward and also like a punishment. You get those nice close shots when you finally push into her, and the animation is not perfect at all, sometimes the movement looks kind of stiff, but that almost turns me on more, because it feels like a dirty fan project instead of some glossy studio thing. There is vaginal, there is anal if you push things far and play your cards like a little manipulative shit, there is this Christmas morning moment where she wakes you up with a slow blowjob that turns into you painting her face like it’s a “special gift,” and yeah, I screenshotted that. On the other side, some pacing is weird: one minute you’re having a pretty honest chat about your dead dad and the weight of the bar, next minute she’s grinding on your lap in leggings, moaning in your ear, and you’re choosing between creampie and pulling out on her back. I kinda wish the game let you be more of a voyeur for longer before things go full-on porn, but it rushes sometimes, then drags in random spots like a drunk Santa stuck in a chimney. Also there is this one Christmas jingle that loops a bit too much and now it lives rent free in my brain, like a cursed TikTok sound. Still, when she leans in, whispers she’s never done it like this before, and you watch her stretched around you from that tight POV angle, with the garland lights flickering on her skin, you forget all small problems and just go along, like an idiot who came home to fix a bar and ended up fucking half the holiday spirit instead.