Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

This thing starts like some drunk tabletop campaign that got horny and never sobered up. Three cranky old spellcasters arguing in a tower about how huge the boobs should be on their “perfect” warrior, casting spells like kids tweaking sliders in a character creator, then years go by, everyone dies except one guy, and suddenly he’s stuck going to war with the walking, bouncing disaster they made together. And she really is a disaster in the best way: big armor that pretends to cover her, tits shoved up like they’re trying to escape the breastplate, thighs that look like they could crush demons or just sit on your face by accident. Half the time she looks like a holy knight, the other half like someone ripped pages from a dirty mage’s notebook and glued them onto a medieval codex.

The coolest part for me is when the fights stop feeling like simple fantasy “hit the goblin” stuff and turn into awkward flirting with extra steps. He throws spells, she charges in, something explodes, suddenly her clothes are shredded and he’s trying very hard to keep chanting while her nipples are basically waving hi to the entire battlefield. There’s this one sequence where they go into some ruined chapel, and the last surviving mage is trying to act serious, “battle, duty, honor” and all that, and she’s just leaning on her sword, sweat running between her breasts in slow drops, asking in this casual way if he “adjusted her stamina parameter back then for long sessions.” Completely normal sentence, absolutely filthy out of context. And the game knows it. It zooms in, lingers, makes him choke on his spell words, like the UI itself is horny and trolling you.

I kind of hate how clunky some bits feel in between all that. Dialogue jumps, some scenes cut like the dev sneezed on the keyboard and pressed skip, and there’s this one transition where it looks like she teleports across a room just so the camera can shove her ass in your face. It annoyed me for one second, then I caught myself staring at the jiggle and forgot what I was annoyed about. That happens a lot. I complain, then she does this slow armor removal, layer by layer, like she’s peeling herself out of a holy cosplay, and everything in my brain just goes quiet except “oh, fuck.” The last mage is the worst liar, by the way. He keeps talking about “strategy” and “tactics” while clearly ogling his own creation, and the game makes you sit right there inside his head as he tries to focus on fireballs while her pussy’s practically framed by broken plate and glowing runes. It’s kind of stupid. It’s kind of hot. It feels exactly like some horny wizard spent too long alone in his tower and decided his ultimate weapon needed ridiculous curves, zero realistic armor, and a battle style that looks like an excuse to get railed between fights.

This thing is like somebody mashed up a horny Pokémon convention, a cheap RPG maker project, and a bad joke from a Discord server, then somehow it actually… works. You wake up in this anime-ass geek convention where every “monster” you fight is actually a girl in cosplay, and half the gameplay is basically you trying to get them undressed without getting your ass kicked in turn-based combat. It’s all classic RPG structure, but instead of grinding slimes, you’re chasing a Jolteon girl in a maid outfit who stuns you by shaking her tits at you. The whole loop is simple: walk around the con map, poke suspicious stuff like tall grass and weird corners, trigger encounters, win the fight, fill your little sticker collection and Cosplayer Compendium with more “reward” images and tear states. It sounds boring when I say it like that, but when you actually sit there trying to min-max your skills just to see the next torn costume version of Gardevoir maid, suddenly it feels like Excel with boobs. Which is kind of my dream job, to be honest, but also not at all.

What hits me most is how it leans into parody without getting pretentious. This is not high art, it knows it, and that’s why it’s funny. The jokes are very “Newgrounds 2012” energy: characters talking shit, dumb puns, meta comments when you lose. At one point I picked the wrong dialog option on a date with Ivy in the cafe, and instead of the usual “bad end”, she just drags you into this awkward, horny small talk that feels exactly like a failed Tinder meetup, except she’s in costume and you’re basically trying to unlock her beach CG. The Maid Cafe is the real star though. It’s like a data dashboard of fetishes: you walk in, and your brain starts building mental pie charts of “cat ears”, “thigh-highs”, “bare shoulders with the fabric barely holding”. Half of the cast is parody of Pokémon girls and Eeveelution cosplayers, and the other half is “what if a normal con girl just went way too hard on the roleplay and now you have to fight her bra off”. Battle mechanics are basic but they sneak in some neat little choices. There’s this moment where you see a shiny-like encounter in the tall grass, and you’re sitting there rubbing the mouse over it like some degenerate, hoping it triggers a rare girl instead of the same basic cosplayer with one less button done up. When it works you feel like a genius. When it fails you just feel like a guy rubbing a virtual bush for hentai.

I like how horny it is without trying to be classy. Clothes rip in stages during battles, you see the same pose evolve from “fully dressed and mad at you” to “tits out, mascara slightly smudged, still talking trash”. The gallery in the Compendium shows you every combat pose and every tear level once you’ve earned them, which scratches the completionist itch way too hard. It actually made me replay some areas just to fill in missing girls on the map, like I was doing some wholesome Pokédex run, except instead of “seen / caught” it’s “seen / stripped”. At the same time, the pacing can be a bit of a mess. Sometimes you walk around forever with nothing happening, then suddenly three lewd encounters and a date event fire one after another, like the RNG is drunk. I ended up alt-tabbing between this and checking charts in Google Sheets, which is pretty funny, since my brain kept trying to calculate “cosplayer per room” density like I was modeling user retention. Also, I have to complain about one stupid tiny thing: the way some dialog lines scroll and then stop half a pixel off-center makes my eye twitch every time. Completely ruined my immersion in the important scientific activity of chasing half-naked Gardevoir maid around a cafe. Still went back for her anyway. Obviously.

Caught in the limbo of the living and the dead, you linger as a ghost, driven by bitter revenge against the girl who ran you down. With Halloween’s chill thick in the air, the perfect time has come to sneak into her home under cover of darkness, her sleep making her vulnerable to your ghostly intentions. Your ghostly hands reach out to explore her world, to push boundaries and indulge in the darkest desires that only a spirit could fulfill. Beyond the intimate darkness, your spectral journey demands cunning and patience, searching every corner for items that seep with hidden power and clues to unravel the haunting tale. Echoes of the past whisper through the walls, each step forward a dance with fear and excitement as you delve deeper into this nightmarish adventure. Push the boundaries of your ethereal existence - seduce, torment, unleash your darker urges on the woman who wronged you, blurring the lines between horror and pleasure. A twisted blend of horror and raw desire pulses through this adventure, where every touch and stolen moment feeds your ghostly hunger for payback.

Episode 30 feels like opening a dirty little window in your browser and suddenly the air smells like wet fur, cheap perfume and bad ideas. You click, it loads, and right away you’re dragged again into this weird half-cute half-filthy world where every “monster” is basically a walking fetish in bright colors. It pretends to be all about quests and maps and story, but we both know why you’re actually here. One second you are reading some silly line about exploring a new area, next second your pants are at your knees and you’re watching a slime girl get railed from three angles like it’s the most normal thing in the world. The game has that cheap-porn energy, like a bootleg Pokémon game made by a guy who watched too much hentai and never touched grass, and I honestly kind of love it for that. It’s horny, shameless, sometimes dumb as hell, and then suddenly there’s a line of dialogue that hits you like “oh wow, he actually tried here.”

The new Pussymon in this episode are exactly that kind of sweet trash. You meet one in the middle of a quest that sounds serious at first, something about a new area and a boss, but by the end of the fight you’re not thinking of stats, only how fast you can see her bend over. The animations look better than earlier episodes, the hips move smoother, the tongues actually feel like they’re licking something, not just sliding in air. At the same time, some scenes repeat a bit too much and you notice the loop, but your hand still doesn’t stop. There’s this boss Pussymon that pretends to be dangerous, roaring and glowing, and ten seconds later she’s moaning with her legs wide open while you click like a maniac. I liked the small joke where one character “forgets” to wear clothes in a serious story bit, and nobody in the team reacts like it’s strange at all. Just another naked monster girl talking about destiny. I wish there were more choices that actually changed scenes, but whatever, I still ended up abusing the cheat thing and skipping half the grind, then going back because I missed some dirty angle. My Chrome almost froze when I had too many tabs open with wikis and hentai sites and this thing running, and I got annoyed by a tiny typo in one line that nobody else will ever care about, but I kept playing anyway. You wander a bit, click some fights, laugh at the stupid humor, catch another wet little beast and make her scream your name with that looping sound that gets stuck in your head like a cursed song. By the time the episode ends, it feels short and long at same time, like a quick jerk that accidentally turned into a full night of “just one more scene” while furry knockoff mons keep begging you to fill them again and again.

In this high-stakes mission, dangerous terrorists threaten to strike the United States. Professor Emmett Von Braun, a genius inventor, was seized by these enemies to create a system for building a clone army. Though the professor was freed thanks to our undercover agents, his inventions are fragmented into five crucial parts.

As a skilled secret agent, your mission is to infiltrate hidden sites, outwit armed guards, and collect the five missing parts needed to dismantle the terrorists’ horrifying plan. Each recovered element brings you closer to shutting down the cloning operation while unleashing tantalizing encounters with busty operatives and unexpected allies.

Explore diverse settings full of mystery, lust, and lethal risks - from hidden bunkers to lavish estates brimming with secrets and seductive distractions.

Using your charm and quick wit, seduce key players, extract information, and outsmart heavily armed foes determined to complete their cloning nightmare.

Gather all the parts, sabotage the clone army’s creation, and prove you have what it takes to be the ultimate secret agent.

Prepare yourself for a provocative parody game blending intense adventure with explicit scenes, revealing the seductive underbelly of espionage.

Step boldly into an erotic spy thriller filled with lust, peril, and the haunting question of who you can truly trust.

Take control, gear up, and become the legendary agent who not only saves the world but also enjoys the pleasures along the way.

A brave group of companions stumbles into the depths of an old manor, lost amidst winding halls and secrets. Every crumbling wall seems to breathe stories soaked in darkness, hinting at ghostly presences haunting the estate's forgotten corners. Fueled by a relentless desire to expose what lies hidden, the group crafts a bold plan to break through the barriers guarding forbidden wings.

Legends point to the manor’s elusive west wing as the epicenter of supernatural activity, drawing the adventurers deeper into the unknown. Every key found and door unlocked tightens the grip of suspense, the darkness pressing in like a living thing.

Here, your choices carve paths through the haunted estate, blending adventure, RPG elements, and a creeping sense of dread. The manor’s supernatural aura mingles with intense, provocative encounters that push boundaries, inviting you to explore both fear and forbidden lust.

Let the dense woods surrounding the estate echo with secrets as you delve deeper into the intertwined mysteries of nature and spirit. Prepare for a crescendo of revelation and temptation, where the line between terror and pleasure blurs in thrilling ways.

Step into a world where mystery meets raw desire, and every heartbeat could be your last or the start of something dangerously sublime.

Con-Quest is one of those horny little browser things that looks kind of silly at first, then three minutes later you’re way too invested in whether some half-naked Pikachu cosplayer is going to stomp you or blow you a kiss. It plays like an RPG that forgot to be serious, which is good, but if you care about accessibility like I do, it also kinda forgot blind and low-vision players exist. The whole game is just walls of small bright text on bright backgrounds, no text size slider, no contrast options, no colorblind presets, nothing. I tried zooming in with Chrome and Firefox, had to keep dragging the screen around like some weird porn spreadsheet. And yeah, I know, you came here to jerk off, not to read a UI audit, but still. When Vanilla storms around the convention hunting the money thief, you get these fun, snappy lines, but if you have any reading difficulty or ADHD it turns into “click, click, where was I again.” They sped up the text speed which sounds good, until your eyes are slower than the horny dialogue and you’re chasing every line like it is Snapchat. At least the animated portraits are nice and expressive, Ivy’s smug grin is perfect when she’s basically edging you with teasing comments, but they don’t help when you can’t tell which character is speaking because the name text is tiny and there is zero voice indication.

The lewd part is funny and stupid in a good way. You’re running around this con full of cosplayers who clearly did not come for child friendly content. There’s a Meowth girl who basically flirts by bullying you, dressed in ears, tail, tight little outfit that clings like latex, and the “reward” is you humiliating her through battle and then getting this multi-stage animated scene where she goes from cocky to absolutely ruined for you. It is not subtle. Pokemon parody everywhere, bootleg mons jokes, sexy Flygon girl pinned into this “oops I fell on you” pose, Mia and Nia doing this twin act that feels like it wants to be wholesome and still ends up about you undressing them with stickers. The sticker book is basically your porn gallery, of course, but cycling characters with keyboard or screen reader? Forget it. I tried NVDA and JAWS out of habit, they both just saw a pile of unlabeled buttons and decorative images. No alt text, no focus order that makes sense, just “button, button, button” so if you play by ear it is like trying to masturbate while somebody reads you the settings menu of Microsoft Word. The new second floor is fun to explore, the whole “Vanilla might have this thief killed” plot gives her a mean streak that is kinda hot, kinda scary, but if you’re sensitive to flicker or fast motion, the quick sliding portraits in dialogue and sudden UI shifts can be a bit much and there is no toggle. Funny thing is, they clearly know how to tweak code, optimize performance, hook up animated rewards, tease you with topless alt portraits, but a simple “bigger font” button or high-contrast mode is still missing. I keep grumbling about that while also chasing every new horny cosplayer quest like a dog with a bone, which probably says more about me than about the game.

You’ve been the perfect scholar at Greenstone College, diligently doing your homework, steering clear of those endless drunken parties. This is your final year and... honestly, there’s little excitement worth remembering.

Can you keep playing the good student when deep down you crave more? It’s time to break from the mold and turn these last months into something unforgettable.

Picture crashing those secret parties everyone whispers about but few actually get invited to. You’ll make eyes with every hottie around while bending the rules that have kept you so boxed in until now.

But it isn’t just about the parties and flings - there’s more lurking beneath the polished surface of Greenstone. Old rumors and dusty legends hide within the shadows of the university’s history.

Get your hands dirty chasing down clues that could change everything. As you peel back layers of deception and intrigue, you’ll find yourself entangled in more than just forbidden romances and late-night thrills.

This last year is your chance to finally live a story worth telling. Throw yourself into chaos and passion with no regrets holding you back.

Are you ready to stop being the perfect student and start being the legend of Greenstone College? Start rewriting your story tonight - the campus won’t know what hit it.

Step out of the shadows and into a world dripping with scandal and thrill. The clock is ticking - what will you do with the final chapter of your university life?

Sexy Witch 6: Pinecones for Zhanna feels like that one weird Christmas porno someone taped over an old medieval movie, then forgot to edit, and somehow it just works. You’re in this snowy village, technically “on a quest” to deal with a stolen Christmas tree, but honestly your dick is the main character and the tree is just a side quest nobody really cares about. The game even starts like your brain trying to remember what being 18 felt like: horny, confused, pretending to care about traditions while you just stare at every pair of tits in the scene. There’s this cozy half-fantasy vibe, snow everywhere, candles, cheap wooden houses, and then the conversations go straight to “how about you fuck me first” in like two lines. I opened it in Chrome on my lunch break and instantly regretted not having a second monitor, because the first scene with Zoe escalates faster than my laptop fan. She’s your “advisor” but let’s be real, she’s there to ride you and make you forget the plot. She teases you about the tree, about your age, about how clueless you are, and then suddenly you’re knee-deep in a sex scene instead of a heroic discussion about village honor. Priorities are correct.

The choices are the fun kind where you pretend to be a good guy for three seconds, then pick the horny option anyway. Sometimes you can go “yeah, I’ll help the village” or “fuck that, where’s the hot maiden,” and obviously Svetlana exists to ruin any attempt to be noble. The first time you meet her, she’s exactly that classic fantasy damsel: pretty, soft, stuck in some magical bullshit, and you’re supposed to think about rescuing her. Instead you’re just reading the dialogue going, “ok but when can I see her naked.” There’s actual magic going on, like witches and strange rituals and some pinecone thing that’s half-joke, half-plot device, but all of that just feels like excuses for more sex setups. One scene did make me laugh though: you’re in the middle of a kind of serious moment about the stolen tree, and your character’s inner monologue is basically “I don’t give a fuck about the tree, I just want to fuck,” which is probably the most honest line in this whole series. Some transitions between scenes are a bit abrupt, like the game forgot how you got there, but whatever, you’re not here to rate continuity. Also, whoever decided pinecones should be that important has issues. Or genius. Hard to say. Either way, by the time you’re juggling witch magic, Christmas bullshit, and two very different girls wanting your cock for different reasons, the whole thing feels like a horny fever dream with snow, and I kinda liked that it never pretends to be deeper than that.