You start as this Marine captain who is supposed to be big deal, “justice of the sea” and all that, and in first ten minutes you already fucked up hard. Straw Hat crew slips through your fingers, higher ups are pissed, and suddenly your glorious career turns into doing dirty side jobs in weird corners of the Grand Line. Except here “dirty” is really about tits and asses, not paperwork. The game plays like someone glued together a horny quiz night, a cheap logic puzzle app you’d open on the toilet, and a One Piece parody where every female character somehow forgot what bras are. One moment you’re juggling domino-style puzzles to complete a mission report, next moment you’re watching Tashigi pressed up against a desk, glasses crooked, moaning with that ahegao face like she just discovered what “special interrogation” really means.

It doesn’t pretend to be subtle. You get a whole sandbox vibe where you wander around port towns and bases, talk shit to the girls, tease them, fail, grind reputation, then suddenly everything pays off and you’re balls-deep in some Marine office with creampie CGs looping in nice little animations. Captain Tashigi acts strict at first, all “regulations this, regulations that”, then after a few tasks and a dumb little puzzle where you line up crates like domino pieces, she’s the one begging you to “discipline” her, sword belt half off, tits bouncing in your face. Hina shows up as this icy officer who can literally cage you, and somehow that turns into a trainer-style situation where you’re the one “training” her body in return for getting your rank back. Black Cage Hina’s scenes are fun because she acts like she’s in control while you are rearranging her holes like it’s a combat formation. Not realistic Marine procedure, but yeah.

Then you run into the Baroque Works girls. Miss Valentine and Mikita, Miss Doublefinger, Paula, all that crew, and the game just leans into the parody hard. Mikita with that lazy grin sitting on your lap, grinding that big ass against you as some stupid courier mini-task pops up on screen that you kinda ignore because her tits are right there. Miss Doublefinger’s poison spider tricks get turned into a sex thing with webs, positions, and a “you’ll die if you pull out” joke that the game absolutely takes too far. Zala shows up under one name, then the game calls her something slightly wrong later, like it forgot its own script, and somehow that made me laugh more than the actual jokes. Sadi and little Sadi from Impel Down bring the real kink: whips, teasing, anal scenes where they “punish” you for losing a turn-based fight, but the punishment looks a lot like reward. You’re supposed to care about combat stats and moves, yet half the time you’re just pressing attack, waiting to see which sex scene unlocks if you lose. Everything feels slightly messy, like a horny fan’s notebook turned into a mobile game, and that’s kind of the charm. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it falls flat on its face, but when your captain ends up with a full harem of big tits, big asses and brainless grins from too much oral and vaginal “interrogation”, you sort of forget the plot was about justice at all.

You roll into Dusuka City thinking it’s just another “smart dude goes to rich-kid academy” story, and then the game hits you with this weird mix of horny slice-of-life, lowkey superhero shit, and fucked up family tension that kinda sits in your head longer than it should. You’re the male MC, obviously, but he’s not the usual cardboard pornstar puppet, he actually feels like that guy who thinks he’s smooth because he watched too much porn, then freezes when a girl actually grabs his dick. The adoptive mom energy is heavy from the first scene, like she’s way too close, way too worried, and the camera knows exactly where her tits are at all times. She’s nervous, you’re confused, and that awkward vibe never fully goes away, even later when you’re deciding whether to grope her in the kitchen or pretend you’re a decent human. The incest tension is kind of the point, but it doesn’t jump straight to “ok we fuck now”, it teases the hell out of you first. She’ll sit too close on the couch, talk about “family” while her cleavage is trying to escape, and the game just lets you stew in it.

The academy itself is like a horny sandbox playground wrapped in a school setting, with everyone way too hot for a place that supposedly cares about education. You wander around, chase events, check your phone way too much like you’re on Instagram instead of a porn game, and slowly figure out that yeah, you’ve got powers. Not “save the world” stuff, more like “I can nudge minds and maybe get away with sliding my hand up a thigh in class” kind of powers. It’s scummy, and the game knows it, so it throws female domination at you as a counterweight. Some girls just do not give a shit about your abilities and will ride your face like you’re the one under their spell. There’s this scene with a senior chick with huge tits, where you think you’re going to control her, and she just flips it, sits on your lap, and uses your cock like a toy while telling you exactly how small you are without her. Handjob, titfuck, footjob, whatever, she cycles through it like she’s testing a feature list, and yeah, I still think about how her heel pressed on your chest while she jerked you off. Completely unnecessary, completely great.

The lesbian stuff sneaks in sideways, you’re not always the center. Two girls in a study room “helping each other relax” while you spy through a door, and you can decide if you intervene with your powers or just watch them eat each other out on the desk where midterms happen. The teasing is relentless: girls brushing against you in the hallway, random groping choices where you know you shouldn’t but you click anyway, big asses and big tits animated just enough that you think “ok, one more scene” then realize your dick’s already out. There’s a lot of dating sim flavor too, picking answers that either make the girl melt or make her step on your ego. I liked how sometimes you get rewarded for acting like a perv, and sometimes you get punished and dragged into this femdom moment where she pins you, strokes you painfully slow, and only lets you cum when she’s done using your mouth. The only thing that really pissed me off is how the phone app vibrates in-game with a tiny little icon that looks like a real notification, made me check my actual phone like an idiot every time. Never got used to it. Anyway, the game is messy, horny as hell, a bit mean, and kind of charming in that “I should not be enjoying this family situation, but here we are” way.

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Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.