Aisling is the kind of tiny horny troublemaker that would absolutely ruin any “serious” fantasy story, and thank god for that. She’s a bored little pixie girl stuck in the most cliché magical forest ever, and instead of hunting goblins or saving kingdoms she’s basically spying on her hot freaky neighbor. You’re not choosing paths or pretending you’re a tactical genius here, this feels more like getting dragged along inside her head while she discovers that her body wants things way more intense than glitter and flowers. The whole thing plays out like one long, dirty peeping-session that slowly turns into “okay, I want that inside me right now” and then keeps going past the point where a normal porn comic would fade out. Since it’s kinetic, there’s no pretending you’re in control. You just watch and read and let it happen, like one of those nights where you promise yourself you’ll only open one Pornhub tab and then suddenly… yeah.

The first fun moment for me was when Aisling realizes Dink is not just “another fae” but a stacked futa bomb with a cock that looks way too heavy for that small body. Aisling is all curious and shy at the same time, playing with herself while she hides and stares, her wings twitching, thighs rubbing, asking herself what that thick thing would feel like against her tongue. The game doesn’t hurry. There’s this slow build where she keeps sneaking glances, squeezing her own tits, dripping on her own fingers, until she basically can’t handle it and decides she wants to taste. The camera loves close-ups: lips around shaft, tongue sliding along veins, drool strings, her cheeks puffing as she tries to take more. It’s very “pixie worships cock” energy. When it moves on from mouth to pussy and ass, it doesn’t pretend to be romantic. You see her tiny body getting stretched, wings fluttering, her belly bulging a bit when Dink pushes deep, and the animations keep looping just long enough that you start noticing little details like how her toes curl every time she gets pounded a bit harder. Sometimes it cuts away so you’re just watching from the side like a creepy voyeur hiding behind a mushroom, which honestly fits the whole fairy-pervert vibe too well.

What threw me off a bit, the pacing can be weird. You get these long bits of internal monologue where she’s rambling about how wrong and exciting it is, then suddenly there’s cum in her mouth or all over her tiny tits and you’re like “oh, we jumped ahead, ok.” I wanted one more lazy aftercare moment, but this world clearly runs on nonstop horny logic instead of cuddle time. Not complaining, just mildly salty. Also I still don’t like how one of the buttons is slightly off-center in the UI and I kept staring at it instead of the blowjob for a second, and now it lives rent free in my brain. But when Aisling starts squirting all over Dink’s thighs while she’s being fucked from behind, wings shivering, ass pushed up, that annoyance kind of melts away, because the timing on her moans lines up with the thrusts in a way that feels way too real. Treat it like a dirty little animated storybook: phone in one hand, the other hand busy, headphones on, scroll at your own pace, and when a scene hits the right spot, linger on it, replay a loop, let it do its job.

Broken main guy on the street, trash bag for a pillow, dead eyes, and then this girl Valerie just drops into his life like some horny ghost of Christmas depression. That is pretty much the tone here. It looks like a TV show your phone decided to fuck you with: tight shots on faces, long pauses, zero narrator holding your hand. You’re just tossed between wet alleys, cheap neon, and weird quiet rooms where people say way too much with almost no words. It’s a mobile thing, yeah, but it doesn’t feel like the usual “tap to see boob” junk. You watch these animated scenes play out and you poke at choices, trying to guess what’s under everyone’s skin. Sometimes you’re staring at a massive pair of tits bouncing in a dirty motel bed while the guy is mentally drowning in guilt, and sometimes you’re just looking at Valerie smoking in silence and it’s somehow hotter than the actual sex.

The game loves to tease. Valerie has this thick ass and heavy tits that are clearly made to distract you, but half the time the camera hangs on her eyes instead of her curves, so when you finally get her naked it hits harder. There’s a sex scene in an abandoned building where the wind is howling outside, broken windows, weird blue light, and she climbs on top of him, riding him slow, and the whole time you feel like something is watching from the darkness. It’s not just porn pasted on top of horror wallpaper, it’s like the horror is breathing down your neck while she moans. Penetration is right there, no shy angles, you see her body take it, but then her expression flickers for a second, like she’s not fully there, like maybe this is about more than just getting him off. The mystery stuff comes in quietly, tiny details in the background, odd symbols, strange music cues. It never shouts “woo spooky cult” in your face, but your brain starts going “ok what the fuck is that” while you’re supposed to be focused on the blowjob.

Romance is messy here, in a good way and in a fucked up way. Valerie feels soft and dangerous at the same time, one moment pressing her tits against him for comfort, next moment looking like she’d sell his soul if it meant surviving one more night. There’s this scene where they curl up in a blanket under some bridge, sharing body heat, clearly horny, clearly broken, and they start kissing like they’re trying to erase the world. When he slides into her, the game doesn’t cut away, you see everything, her ass bouncing, her legs around his waist, but the mood is half porn, half funeral. The mystical angle sneaks into those quiet moments, like when the city sounds vanish for a second and the music drops into this eerie, almost holy tone while they fuck. It feels like something wants him to let go of his past through sex, which is both hot and a bit creepy. It’s not clean, not polished, sometimes the timing is weird, a line lands awkward, a transition is sudden, but that roughness kind of matches a story about a man who lives in the gutter and still ends up balls deep in a woman who might be his salvation or just another ghost he’s trying to cum through.

So there's this floating resort game that caught my attention because... well, honestly the premise sounded ridiculous at first. You're managing some kind of luxury sex island called Kamogawa, and yeah it's exactly what it sounds like. The whole setup reminds me of those harem anime where the protagonist somehow ends up surrounded by gorgeous women, except here you're actually running the damn place. Started playing expecting some basic visual novel stuff but got way more invested than I should've been. The day/night cycle thing actually matters - different girls show up at different times, events change, and you're constantly juggling who to spend time with. Found myself checking the clock way too often because missing certain evening events with the MILF characters feels like a genuine loss.

Management aspect is surprisingly deep though sometimes the upgrade system feels clunky. You're buying gifts, improving facilities, hiring staff - it's like playing SimCity but everyone's horny and the buildings are love hotels. The map exploration keeps things interesting because there's always some hidden spot with new content. Jessie's mansion storyline hit different though, that whole reconnecting with old flames thing... fuck, the nostalgia factor really works. Some of the animated scenes are genuinely well done, especially the footjob sequences which - okay why am I spending so much time talking about feet? Point is, the quality varies but when it hits, it really hits. The BDSM content isn't hardcore but there's enough teasing and power play to keep things spicy.

What bugs me is how the mobile interface can be finicky during the more... interactive moments. Also wish there were more varied body types because everyone's got massive tits and asses, which look great but where's the variety? The Spanish language option is random but whatever. No NTR though, which some people will appreciate - your harem stays loyal. Combat system is basically nonexistent despite the RPG tag, but honestly who cares when you're getting handjobs on tropical beaches?

Becca in this one feels like catching someone’s private browser history and then getting sucked into it. She’s barely out of school age-wise, tossed into that weird “I’m technically an adult but still feel like a dumb kid” phase, and the game really leans into that. She’s awkward, horny, insecure, and kind of a mess in the best way. You’re not the all-powerful sex god here, more like the little devil in her head nudging her toward bad choices. First scenes are slow burn: small stuff like her staying late in the library, pretending she cares about study, but you can feel the itch under her skin. Camera angles linger on thighs, the way her skirt rides up when she bends over, that kind of thing. Nothing super crazy at start, just a lot of teasing and those “oh shit did someone see me” moments. And then you get the teacher. Of course there’s a teacher. He’s not some anime pretty boy, more like that guy who looks normal in public but you just know he watches too much porn on his phone. The tension hits when he “happens” to be around every time she’s alone among the bookshelves. There’s this scene where Becca is trying to calm herself down in a quiet corner, breathing heavy, one hand on the table, other disappearing under the desk, legs pressed together, and suddenly you notice the camera is not from her POV anymore, it’s some pervy angle from behind a shelf. Voyeur mode on. I literally caught myself holding my breath, then laughed because yeah, I’m just the bigger creep here. The animations are actually better than they have any right to be. Her hips have weight, her tits move, the way she rubs her thighs together when she’s trying not to moan in public feels way too real. Sometimes her facial expression goes a bit “mannequin who just saw god,” but then in the next scene she’s biting her lip and glancing around like she knows she shouldn’t like this, and it slaps again. You can tell the focus is on that combination of shame and arousal. Public stuff in this is not huge gangbang on the subway, it’s more intimate and mean. Tiny risks. Half-open doors. Students walking past while she’s pinned against the shelves and trying to keep quiet. There’s an early sequence where she’s rewriting notes, clearly bored out of her mind, and you can make her drift off into a fantasy of the teacher taking charge of her, or keep her “good girl” but then she ends up masturbating in the bathroom anyway. Either way she’s not winning. That’s the fun. I liked that she starts pretty timid. She’s not instantly a slut, she’s curious and easily pushed. Her first vaginal scene in the library feels almost clumsy, like two people who should not be doing this, in a place where they absolutely shouldn’t be doing it, and the game doesn’t try to make it perfectly smooth. There’s a bit of fumbling, awkward angle, her back scraping the bookshelf, her trying not to yelp when he pushes in deeper. It actually turned me on more that it looked slightly uncomfortable and rushed, like they’re racing the clock. The voyeur element stays around in nice ways too. At one point there’s another student clearly noticing something is off, pretending to read a book while sneaking glances, and it gave me that Pornhub hacked-cam vibe. I kind of wish the game let you swap to that student perspective more, like full-on creep mode, but no, we stay anchored on Becca’s journey. Which is okay. I guess. The library setting is underrated in porn games and this one milks it: quiet moans, pages rustling, that panic of someone turning into your aisle. Sometimes there’s too much internal monologue from her like “oh no, what if someone sees,” when yeah girl, that’s the whole point and we both know it, but then she melts when he fingers her under the table and I forgive everything. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy, and very clear about what it wants: young Becca figuring out that public, risky sex with authority and wandering eyes on her makes her wet enough to ruin her panties. And then doing it again anyway.

This thing starts like a trashy cruise commercial that someone spilled porn all over, then forgot to clean up, then decided to keep it that way because actually, yeah, that’s better. You’re this guy on a Mediterranean cruise with your “family” and a crowd of random passengers, and in about five clicks it stops feeling like a holiday and turns into a slow moral car crash. Not because of the sex itself, but because of how normal everyone pretends it is to stare too long at your mom’s tits by the pool, or notice how your “sister” bends over in that tiny skirt, and nobody talks about it. They just blush, look away, then keep doing worse stuff. It feels less like a fantasy and more like watching a group therapy session that went horribly off track and somehow added anal, which I honestly respect in a weird way.

The game is pretty blunt about bodies. Big tits everywhere, like the dev had a quota and hit it with enthusiasm. There is this one scene where you sneak into a cabin at night and you can tell the guy knows exactly what “sleep sex” is supposed to be for the player: maximum control, minimum resistance, maximum guilt if you have two brain cells to rub together. I actually paused and sat there with a cup of coffee, thinking “ok, if consent is the basic moral floor, this scene is like drilling a hole under it and climbing through.” And yet I still clicked through it, because this is porn and my moral purity is already dead on page one of Pornhub. That tension is all over the game. You humiliate women, you spank them until their ass is red, you shove a dick between those massive boobs, and in the same moment, part of you thinks “wow, this is hot” and another part mutters “this would be a crime report IRL.” The writing is not deep, but it does not hide what it is doing, and that honesty is almost more disturbing than if it tried to justify things with some dumb magical mind control excuse.

The incest part is the real philosophical mess, obviously. It is not subtle. You get teases, “accidental” groping, mom in a swimsuit that belongs on Instagram thirst posts, group scenes where family limits start melting after too much sun and too much rubbing lotion. When the game finally moves from suggestion to full on vaginal and anal with people you’re absolutely not supposed to fuck, it does it like it was always going there and you were just being slow to admit it. Interracial stuff pops up too, not as some noble celebration of diversity, just as another excuse to throw more bodies into group sex and watch power games shift. I caught myself comparing it to how Pornhub shoves “step” in every title to fly under taboo radar, and here the game almost laughs at that, like, “no, we know exactly what you are here for.” There is lesbian content without you in it, and I like that morally in theory, two women exploring each other on their own terms, but the camera leers so hard that it still feels curated for a guy’s gaze. One of the lesbian moments almost felt sweet and then they undercut it with harder stuff later. That’s this whole cruise in one sentence: any time your conscience tries to stand up, the game pushes it back down with a titfuck. I was playing on my laptop with Discord pinging me, having this ridiculous double life: one window of people sharing memes, another window of a digital mom getting creampied by her own son while pretending nothing about this is rotten. If you want your porn to be ethically clean, this is a moral nightmare. If you accept that porn is where we store the dark shit we can’t or shouldn’t do in reality, this cruise is basically a floating confession booth where nobody ever says they’re sorry.

This thing absolutely feels like the result of someone horny, bored and a bit too obsessed with Harry Potter porn on Xvideos, in the best and worst way. You play a male wizard tossed back to some weird 70s version of magic school, and everything has that “almost familiar but off” vibe. It’s clearly Hogwarts but also legally not Hogwarts and that actually makes it hotter somehow. The school corridors are all quiet and soft lit, plenty of little corners where you can just stop and peek at stuff you’re not supposed to see. The first time I followed one witch after curfew, I was just clicking around for a random event and suddenly I’m spying through a keyhole while she’s practicing “magic focus” with a dildo the size of a wand, panting into a pillow. That voyeur moment hit harder than half the porn I have saved on my phone. And then the game acts like it’s your fault for watching too long. Which is accurate, honestly.

The teasing is where it really got me. It doesn’t rush right into sex unless you deliberately brute-force it. Witches will lean just a bit too close during classes, robes slip open a few pixels too far, they bend down to pick up books and the camera angle is just perfectly trashy. I liked how one girl pretends to be all strict and dominant, scolding you for not paying attention, then “punishes” you in a private tutoring session by making you kneel and focus while she slowly wraps her tits around your cock. No background music, just her breathing and a couple of quiet voice lines, and you can choose to either obey or grab her waist and break the mood. I picked obey, obviously. Or maybe not, now that I think back. Anyway the titfuck scene is surprisingly emotional for something that also made me pause my Spotify because it was getting distracting. The writing swings from horny jokes to soft romance to lowkey bullying in a way that feels like scrolling through Reddit gone wrong. One moment you’re testing some charm, next moment she’s using that spell to tie your hands magically while she rides you, talking trash in your ear, completely in charge. People looking for pure vanilla might complain, but honestly the femdom flavor fits the whole witch fantasy. The only thing that annoyed me is how sometimes you spend way too long clicking every shiny thing in a classroom just to trigger a single groping animation, and then it’s over in ten seconds. I still kept doing it. I hate myself a little for that.

The “sandbox” part is strange but kind of addictive. You wander around the school, poke at random magical crap, and every now and then you unlock a new scene or a tiny quest. There was this moment where I found a cursed mirror hidden behind some dusty curtains and instead of a jumpscare or something, it showed a witch undressing in another room in real time, touching herself with a wand between her legs while you choose to watch longer or back off. Of course I watched longer. It felt like one of those shitty porn pop-up ads made into an actual game mechanic. The parody humor hits and misses: some spell names are intentionally stupid, like a charm that “helps circulation” and is just an excuse for a handjob in the infirmary, with the nurse slowly stroking you while complaining about school regulations. The tone jumps around a lot. One witch is written like a proper romance route, with soft moments in the library, holding hands, kissing in the courtyard after class, then she surprises you with a blowjob under the table while a teacher is talking, trying not to laugh as you struggle to keep eye contact. Another witch is basically chaos with a wand, turning your clothes invisible in public, using toys on herself in the dorm while she forces you to stay on lookout at the door. I kept thinking I would get tired of the point and click parts, but then some little animated gesture or facial reaction would drag me right back in. It’s messy, horny, a bit broken in pacing, and the romance is twisted in that way where you end up wanting these girls to obsess over you forever. Which is probably not healthy, but alright.

This thing feels like someone grabbed a horny power fantasy manga, shook it until all the subtlety fell out, then clicked “next page” until only sex and awkward pauses were left. You play a guy who’s very obviously written by a dude who grew up on eroge and hentai scans, but in a good way. He has that “I swear I’m normal but everything around me is ridiculously hot” energy. The story pretends to care about plot, something about normal life going messy, but it’s basically an excuse to drop you into scenes where every woman you meet looks like she escaped from a doujin circle that only draws big tits and big asses. No slow burn. No “will they, won’t they”. It goes straight into “of course they will, and you’re going to watch every second of it.”

What I like is that the game doesn’t even try to hide what it is. There’s no fake moral lesson, no deep trauma talk, just “here’s a guy surrounded by women who keep teasing him, now watch what happens.” The teasing is constant too. You get that classic thing where a girl “accidentally” bends over too close, or you catch someone half naked in a room she swears you weren’t supposed to see, and the camera just stays there a little too long. It feels like a hentai artist directing a soap opera. There’s a scene where one of the girls is pretending to ignore you while she’s obviously touching herself in the shower and the MC is basically frozen, staring like a total creep, and the game treats it like the most normal thing. You feel a bit dirty, but you still don’t skip. Then later you end up inside her anyway, because of course you do. This is the kind of game where masturbation scenes don’t feel like warmup, they feel like the main event, and then actual sex is just the bonus prize on top. One moment you’re watching someone secretly rubbing herself while thinking about you, the next moment you have her on her knees, mouth full, eyes watering, and the story pretends it’s a natural step in character development. It isn’t, but you won’t complain. The erotic pacing is weirdly good for something that pretends to be a “novel”. You don’t really choose anything, you just let the story drag you from blowjob to voyeur moment to vaginal pounding to creampie like it’s all one big scene that forgot to breathe. When the harem vibe fully kicks in and multiple girls are orbiting around you, it stops feeling realistic at all and starts feeling like one of those degenerate manga arcs where everyone already accepted that you’re the main dick of the universe, they’re just negotiating who gets it next.

What stuck with me more than anything is how unapologetically horny every angle is. This is a kinetic story, so you’re mostly just clicking, but the way it lingers on curves is basically porn-level camerawork. Breasts are always a bit too big for the clothes they’re in, asses take up half the frame when a girl walks away, and the orgasms are not shy. Creampie shots are treated like signature moves. It really feels like the dev wanted to win some fake award like “Most Shameless Internal Cumshots of the Year” and honestly they might. There’s one scene where you’re buried inside a girl from behind, her ass swallowing your view while she tries to muffle her moans, and the second you finish inside her the game just zooms in like it wants to make sure you understand exactly where everything went. It’s obscene in that very specific hentai way where you almost laugh at how much attention they give to fluids, but you’re also not looking away. The voyeur bits help a lot too: catching a girl sucking on her own fingers while she slides them between her legs, or watching from a half-open door while another one rides her own hand, biting her lip and whispering your name. No blinking “choice” buttons, no morality system, just you, your dick, and a parade of girls who are way too into you. It feels trashy, cheap, and absolutely on purpose, like reading a smutty manga in the bathroom and pretending it’s literature. Which it kind of is. Just very sticky literature.

This thing feels like someone took a pretty normal slice-of-life VN, poured a bucket of porn over it, then went “yeah, that’s family, sure, why not” and just kept going. You’re this 21-year-old guy, pretending to be a serious tutor, but you live in a house where literally no one has heard of personal boundaries. The game starts slow, like you’re just helping Mia with homework, or catching Nicole sneaking in late, and your brain goes “ok, normal story, school stuff, chores, boring real life.” Then suddenly the camera angle hangs a bit too long on Mia’s thighs, her skirt rides up, and you realize this isn’t “wholesome anime tutoring simulator”, this is “I probably shouldn’t be turned on by this but here we go anyway.”

The vibe is weirdly voyeur-ish in a good way. A lot of scenes feel like you’re spying on your own house through a hidden phone camera. You’re not just clicking through dialogue, you’re kind of peeking. Emily walks around the kitchen in a top that would get her banned from Twitch in two seconds, the AI-touched model face looking like some pornstar you half-recognize from Pornhub recommendations, and you get that “I’ve seen this actress somewhere” brain itch. The game loves that angle. Catching her bent over the fridge, the way the shirt rides up, that tiny delay before she notices you standing behind her. There’s a bathroom door that never seems to close all the way. A bedroom you “accidentally” walk into while someone is changing. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be.

What killed me was how it mixes the cheap porn logic with these tiny moments that feel almost too real. Like, Mia asking you to help her study, actually struggling with something, eyes tired, and then the whole thing crashing straight into “reward” sex, full-on vaginal, messy, loud, zero condoms, like a shitty hentai plot that forgot to be animated. One moment you’re choosing between dialogue options that pretend to be morally conflicted, next moment you’re balls-deep and the camera is glued to her face, with that AI CG blending actual porn stills with this slightly uncanny softness. It works more often than it should, to be honest. And then sometimes the faces look a bit off, like the model had one too many filters and no sleep, but by that point you’re probably one hand on the mouse, so accuracy is not exactly the main concern.

The “open-world” thing is there, sort of. You wander around the house, some streets, click on spots, poke at side characters that are clearly just future porn flags. There’s this one milf-type neighbor who shows up like she’s in the wrong game, straight out of a Brazzers thumbnail, all fake smile and huge tits. The first time I saw her the game made me walk away like “not yet”, and I actually got annoyed at that. Don’t tease me with walking porn and then send me back to do algebra with my “sister”, man. Also, one of the side girls has this super jerky movement between images that made me laugh in the middle of a sex scene. It’s like she teleports from “fully dressed” to “legs wide open” in one click, like PowerPoint but horny.

What’s kind of fun, though, is how the story pretends you’re building relationships, asking “who will you choose” while 90% of players are like “all of them, obviously.” You flirt with Nicole in the hallway, then later you catch her alone in her room, headphones on, hand under the blanket, screen reflection showing some porn site you probably used last week. That bit felt almost too exact. I swear I saw an interface that looked a lot like XVideos. The whole “fan-made remake” thing shows up in little ways, like scenes that feel stitched together from older content, but it still hits the basic buttons: family tension, forbidden stuff, pornstars faces mashed with AI, and lots of first-person angles that make you feel like the world is built only to show you exactly where your dick is going to end up. Honestly, it’s trashy in a way that feels kind of honest. Like the game knows exactly why you’re here and just leans into the mess.

You’re this pretty average looking dude who somehow ends up running a weird cross‑universe safehouse that’s basically a horny refugee camp for ruined timelines. The game calls them “BIOLOGICAL OTHERWORLD ORGANISM BEINGS IN EXILE”, which is the most forced acronym I’ve seen in a porn game and also kind of genius, because everyone knows what it’s really about the moment those letters show up. Every girl that lands in your base comes from some smashed universe, so you’re not “kidnapping” anyone, you’re “saving” them. Very ethical, at least that’s what I kept telling myself while persuading a certain stretchy mom to try anal “for stress relief”. Zone Zero starts out almost empty, just a hub and a few basic rooms, then slowly turns into this stacked harem hotel where the hallways feel like Comic Con afterparty: Spider‑Gwen arguing with Jinx, Mavis sneaking around with that smug little grin, Ariel walking around like she forgot she’s not under water anymore and those tits need a bra. The game leans hard into parody without even pretending, so you’re flirting with heroines that are basically Marvel, Pixar, old school cartoons, fighting games, whoever, just with names shifted enough to not get lawyers screaming.

Moment to moment, it’s kind of a sandbox dating sim where you ping‑pong between rooms, chat up girls, pick dialogue options and unlock scenes when their affection and your corruption tricks line up. You can be sweet with some of them, actually play the romance angle, go on pseudo‑dates inside your base, help them “adapt” to this new life, which leads into long blowjob scenes or lazy morning vaginal sex where they pretend they’re still not part of your harem. Then there are paths where you lean straight into male domination and the game doesn’t pretend you’re a nice guy at all. There’s BDSM content that creeps in slowly: first a playful spanking on Mavis’ perfect goth ass, then she’s bent over your lap getting her pale cheeks red while she tries to keep her fangs from showing too much. A Spider‑verse girl ends up hogtied with your custom gear, gagged but still trying to talk shit. Some heroines react to tentacle stuff like it’s the most normal thing in the world, others freak out but moan anyway when you use one on their ass and another inside their pussy at the same time. Group sex scenes hit later, when your base starts feeling crowded and someone suggests a “team building” event that turns into a dogpile of Marvel butts, Street Fighter thighs and cartoon curves, with your character in the center trying not to bust too early while a redhead mermaid gives a messy boobjob and Jinx laughs in his face. There’s a lot of masturbation scenes too, caught through cameras or by just walking into the wrong room at the right moment, like Psylocke riding her own fingers while muttering about her lost world, or Helen Parr stretching in ways that would probably snap a normal woman’s spine, just to get the toy deeper. It’s not subtle, it’s not polished, and that’s kind of the charm: a messy, horny multiverse hotel where every corridor is one choice away from oral, anal, spanking, or some ridiculous crossover threesome featuring characters you grew up watching, now kneeling in front of you and calling you “owner” with a straight face.