I’m gonna be honest, this whole thing feels like somebody looked at a summer fashion catalog and said, “What if we add a horny nephew, a ‘totally not your mom’ landlady and a lot of ass shots?” And then just ran with it. The setup is simple: you’re on vacation in this rented place, stuck alone with her for a week, and the game is basically about how far you can push that weird mix of “respectful tenant” and “guy who can’t stop staring at her tits when she bends over the sink.” It’s not subtle. At all. She’s stacked, blonde, soft in all the right places, and the camera knows it. As a lingerie designer, I kept pausing scenes just to mentally pin fabrics on her curves. There’s this morning scene where she’s making coffee in a thin tank top and shorts that ride so high her ass cheeks basically say hello, and all I could think was, “If that top was cut on bias and in silk, this would be the perfect pre-fuck outfit.” Instead she’s in something super basic and it kind of works, because it feels cheap and real, like clothes ordered in a rush on Amazon.

The pacing is slow in that teasing way. You’re not just instantly choking on her tits. You start with accidental gropes, “oh, I slipped” moments, long looks at wet skin after showers. The game loves those half-innocent touches: a hand on her waist that stays a bit too long, her brushing past you in a bikini where you know damn well there is no support in that top. There’s this balcony scene at sunset that hit me harder than it should. She’s in a light dress, the wind moves the fabric and the outline of her panties is just there, soft and round, and the dev clearly enjoys her ass as much as I do. It’s not just about sex, though. You see her little moods, how she gets flustered, lonely, a bit sad. Sometimes she talks like a mom who’s trying not to admit something, sometimes she’s like a woman who hasn’t been properly fucked in years and her body is screaming before her mouth does. The incest vibe is right under the surface, not shouted, but present enough that you feel it when she gives you that too-long look on the couch. It’s messy and kind of wrong, and that’s the point.

What I like is how physical she feels. The animation focuses on weight: her boobs move when she turns, thighs press together when she sits, her big ass actually compresses against the couch. As someone who d*** lace on mannequins all day, I notice this stuff. I kept imagining a sheer bra on her that fails completely at containing her, or high-cut panties disappearing between her cheeks when you grab her. One masturbation scene absolutely nails that. She thinks you’re asleep, slips into her room in a loose shirt, no bra, and starts touching herself on the bed. Her hand under the fabric, hips grinding, nipples pushing against cotton, and you see her biting her lip, trying to stay quiet. And of course there’s an option to watch like a creep. I hated myself and clicked it anyway. The only thing that annoyed me was this one shot where the camera focuses on the lamp in the background while her perfect ass is slightly out of focus and I wanted to throw my phone. But then the next frame is her spreading her thighs a bit wider, fingers slick, breathing faster, and I forgot I was mad. That’s kind of how the whole game works: it does something clumsy, then throws you a slow, filthy close-up of a milf body and your brain just shuts up.

Vacation porn game brain-rot really hits different when you’re trying to sneak a quick fap between putting laundry in the dryer and yelling at a kid to please stop sticking LEGO in the fan. This thing drops you in a fancy Hawaii hotel where everyone is way too hot, way too horny, and somehow no one is screaming about school lunches. You make your own girl at the start, and I spent way too long swapping hairstyles and bikinis instead of actually getting railed. It feels a bit like scrolling Instagram filters while secretly thinking “yeah, I’d let that guy choke me a little.” You pick hair, outfits, vibe, and then suddenly you’re that girl who actually went on vacation instead of just saving travel TikToks she’ll never use. The hotel itself is like a horny labyrinth. Lobby, pool, bar, balcony, little side walks near the beach, and it’s all just excuses to bump into one of the love interests and pretend you’re here for “romance” when you’re really waiting to see who’s gonna pin you to the bed first.

Each route starts all sweet and “oh, aloha, welcome to the resort” and very quickly turns into “okay, who’s on top and who’s begging.” There’s a soft one who looks like he’d write you poems, except the moment you give him a little green light he’s grabbing your wrists and telling you how good girls behave. Another one has that smug vibe, like a guy who knows exactly how wet he’s making you just by leaning a bit closer than normal while he “teaches” you something pointless. Little teasing lines like “You’re blushing. Are you thinking about what I could do to you later?” and I’m just here trying to tap choices with a thumb that still has dish soap on it. It sells that slow burn pretty well: lingering eye contact at the bar, accidental thigh touch at dinner, your character’s inner thoughts getting dirtier with every scene. Then it flips and she’s the one taking control, pushing him back on the bed, riding his face like she owns the suite. Halfway through one scene at the balcony I actually forgot the potatoes in the oven, because I really needed to see if she was going to make him beg or if he’d snap and pin her against the rail. She makes him wait. Makes you wait too. Edge city. Honestly hot as hell.

What I liked is how your choices don’t just give “good ending / bad ending” stuff. You lean into being a brat, you get different lines, different positions, different ways they talk to you. Say the wrong thing and the guy you thought would be a total dom suddenly gets shy and you end up on top, guiding his hands, teaching him how you want your pussy touched. Say the bold thing and the mood changes: voice drops, he moves closer, hand on your neck, asking if you really thought you could tease him and walk away. There’s one route where your girl starts all sweet and respectful, then bit by bit realizes she likes holding the power. She’s the one telling him when he’s allowed to come, whispering in his ear, making him stay hard while she grinds and pulls his hair. I wish the text box wasn’t so damn tiny, I keep scrolling back like an idiot because my thumb presses the wrong choice, and it annoys me every single time. Still kept playing. The romantic parts hit, then they throw in dirty talk that’d make a nun drop her rosary, then go back to kissing in the rain like it’s a drama show. Some endings are all cuddly and stars in the sky, others have you getting fucked raw on hotel sheets with your legs shaking and him telling you exactly how many times you already came. And in between all that, I’m just pausing to check if the kids are still on YouTube and not behind me reading over my shoulder. This game is way too horny for the amount of towels I’m folding.

Vacation porn game that pretends it’s chill and then starts crawling under your skin. You arrive at this tiny fishing village just wanting some sun and jerking material, and it actually gives you both, which is kind of fucked up. First you’re just this horny tourist, walking the docks with your cock half hard because the breeze smells like salt and sweat and the game keeps throwing these suggestive camera angles at you. Bikini straps sliding down tanned shoulders, hints of nipples through wet fabric, village girls leaning a little too close when they talk about “the sea taking what it wants.” It feels soft at first, like you’re on some Pornhub-style “sex on holiday” thing. Then you start staring at the water too long, and the text slows down in this almost needy way, and your brain goes, oh. Oh no. Oh yes.

The mermaid is the whole problem and the whole reward. The first time you see her it’s not some Disney cutie, she looks hungry, like she’s tasting you with her eyes, and she’s not shy at all. The CG hits you with wet skin, small beads of water clinging to her tits, nipples already hard from the cold sea, hair sticking across her chest so you keep trying to imagine moving it away with your fingers or your tongue. The game lets you lean into that obsession, talking to old fishermen who describe how she wraps her tail around men and pulls them under while stroking their dicks, or the priest who calls her a demon because “she makes them spill their seed into the deep.” You get these choice points where you can either play scared or just give in and basically sext a mythological creature through inner monologue. The best bit for me was one scene where you’re on a rock at night, half drunk, dick in hand, jerking while she appears just out of reach, whispering into your head that she wants it in her throat, wants to feel you pump inside her gills, and the text starts looping and glitching slightly like your sanity is edging with your orgasm. It’s horny as fuck and also kind of uncomfortable in a way that sticks in your stomach.

What makes it weirdly strong on mobile is how much it leans on touch. Tapping to “caress her scales” or “grab her hair” actually feels dirty when you’re doing it with one thumb and holding your phone a little too close to your face. You get these moments where the narration pauses and you have to choose whether you push her head down or pull her up for a kiss, and both options are wrong and hot. There is a blowjob scene where she’s half in the water, half out, drool and seawater dripping down your shaft, and in the middle of that the game quietly reminds you how long it’s been since you talked to any human in the village. It just drops that line and keeps going with the sloppy sounds and it honestly hit me harder than any jumpscare. Some of the horror beats are a bit too “creepy text distortion 101” and one of the endings felt rushed, like they ran out of horny brainpower and just went “ok you’re fucked now, credits.” But I can’t lie, when she climbs on your lap, claws lightly on your chest, asking you to cum for her “so the sea can taste your soul,” I was gripping my phone like it was going to fall into the water with me. Game feels like getting a handjob from something older than God that might eat you after, and yeah, I’m absolutely not normal about it.