Card table, pretty girl, tits practically falling out already, and you still feel nervous like some newbie clicking "start" on his first porn game. That’s the vibe here. It throws you right into a strip poker match with this curvy babe who looks like she was built in Honey Select on a horny Sunday. Big ass, big tits, tiny clothes. She leans in, smirks, taps her cards on the felt. You’re pretending to care about odds and strategy while your brain is just "please lose this hand, please lose this hand."

The thing that hit me hardest wasn’t even the visuals at first, it was the sounds. I sample moans and sex audio for fun, ok, I’m weird, whatever. Her teasing voice when she slow-rolls a win, that playful "hmm, looks like you’re in trouble" mixed with that little card flip sound. The cloth shuffle of the deck has this soft, low thump that sits nicely under her voice, not too sharp. When she strips, the clothing rustle is a bit too clean, like someone in a studio sliding off a jacket, but the way they layered in this tiny breath from her, like she’s half embarrassed, half enjoying it, yeah, that works. I actually recorded my screen, dropped the audio into Audacity and cut little loops of her giggles. Some of them clip a bit on higher volume, and it annoyed me more than it should, especially with headphones on Spotify running in the background. Still didn’t stop me replaying the same round three times to trigger the same teasing line.

The gameplay moment that got me hooked was this hand where I went all in with trash, just to see if the game would reward stupid horny behavior. I lost, of course. She leans back, crosses her arms under those ridiculous breasts, and there’s this low laugh, like she already knew you were bluffing with your dick instead of your brain. Then a couple hands later, I actually won with a real straight, and the tone flips. She gives this fake annoyed sigh, slides the straps off her shoulders so slowly it almost feels like lag, and there’s this faint fabric stretch sound that made me stop and rewind. But the next time that same animation played, the sound was a bit out of sync, half a second late, and it drove me crazy. I kept waiting for them to line up perfectly and they never did.

Honestly, the 3D CG looks both hot and slightly weird in that hentai way where the body is a little too perfect, but it fits the whole striptease fantasy. When she stands up to show off more skin, there’s this small chair sc*** that sounds like it came from a free sound pack, but the moan after covers it, so whatever. The puzzles tied into poker hands actually surprised me a bit. You’re not just clicking "next scene" on autopilot; you’re trying to outplay her, counting on her to lose one more layer, while she keeps smirking like she knows you’re one bad call away from sitting there fully clothed, hard as fuck, and still somehow losing. I liked how sometimes she’d toss a line like "you really think that hand is enough?" with this little chuckle that sits perfectly in the mid-range, no harsh S sounds. Other times the voice volume jumps randomly and I had to tab out, lower my system volume, then forgot to put it back and missed a few of her best teases.

Anyway, the strip scenes ramp up nicely. First it’s just a button open, or her bending forward so her cleavage fills the whole screen, then later it’s full-on topless with those huge tits bouncing a bit when she laughs at you for folding too early. There’s one moment where she turns around to peel her panties down and that ass has this glossy look like an overpolished car, but the animation is so slow and cocky it still worked for me. The sexiness is not really about realism, it’s about that poker table energy: you against this smug, animated bombshell, cards in your hand, dick in your other "hand", praying for a good draw so you can see just a little more skin. It’s messy, sometimes clunky, sometimes weirdly hot. I closed the browser, then opened it again five minutes later, just to hear that cocky laugh one more time.

Sugar Service feels like what happens when someone mixes a horny dating sim with a management spreadsheet and then adds rock paper scissors to decide if you get to fuck or just sit there feeling like a clown. You start as this broke dude trying to keep a tiny Rent-a-Partner / camgirl startup alive with your long-time friend, who is way too cute to be trusted around a broke horny brain. She’s your partner in “business”, but the whole time the game keeps poking you with this teasing “are you just friends or do you want to push her against the office couch” energy. It’s not subtle. She leans into the camera during a stream, you’re there pretending to manage revenue and client stats, but the real game is you staring at her voice lines and thinking, yeah, I’d ruin that friendship in one drunk night.

The core loop is kind of hilarious and weirdly addictive: you juggle girls, clients, dates, and money, like some horny Excel sheet that moans back at you. You check which camgirl is online, who has the best chance to milk a VIP client, what fetish they like, then you send her off and peek on the stream like a total voyeur. Camera angle changes, she reacts with those short voiced lines, little animated hips, boobs bouncing when tips roll in. You’re supposed to be this “professional manager”, but the game fully expects you to be jerking it while pretending to optimize engagement. Dates are where it gets fucked in a good way. Instead of normal dialogue you play this “Love & Seduction” card minigame that feels half strategy, half trying to guess what bullshit this hottie wants to hear. You get a hand of flirty, dirty, romantic, tease, sometimes cringe cards, and you try to chain them before she loses interest. I had a moment where I played a smooth compliment, then a light tease, then a bold sexual card and watched her face turn from shy to horny in like three turns. Next date, I tried something similar and got hard rejected, she roasted my character, and I went home with blue balls and lower confidence stat. Felt oddly real, like Tinder dates but at least pixel girls don’t ghost you on WhatsApp.

What really got me was how the game keeps mixing romance and pure sex work in a messy way that feels dirty but human. You’re literally building a camgirl agency, hiring MILF types, shy girls, bratty ones, each with different card tendencies and kinks, balancing who goes on cam and who goes on “dates” with paying clients. Sometimes you get this soft moment where you help a girl calm down before a show, she thanks you with this sweet voice, and you start caring… and then two minutes later you send her to jerk off some rich creep on a private stream. The teasing is constant: voice lines that trail off, half-spoken moans, subtle animations of them shifting in their chair, pulling up a skirt just a bit higher. Even when nothing hardcore is on screen yet, it still feels like you’re peeking through a half-open door. I wish the rock paper scissors logic in some seduction rounds was less annoying, because sometimes you clearly pick something that fits and the game just punishes you like “nope, she hates that now”, and it throws off the fantasy. Also one tiny thing that pissed me off: one of the UI sounds is just slightly too loud compared to the voices, and each time it plays my brain goes out of the mood for half a second. They’re probably never gonna fix that, and I will keep being mad about it forever. But then you pull off that perfect card combo, your date blushes, breathes heavier in voiced lines, camera gets a bit closer, your manager brain shuts off, and you’re just there enjoying the ride, like a horny little strategist who finally got rewarded for playing his cards right.

Reborn in this world, you don’t start as some overpowered hentai demigod. You start small, weak, awkward, staring at stat screens like a horny nerd who suddenly woke up inside the fantasy game he used to jerk off to. It feels weirdly familiar, all those windows and numbers and skills, like someone mashed together an isekai anime, Pornhub tags, and a DnD character sheet, then said “yeah, now suffer for it.” The beginning actually made me laugh, in that “oh shit, that would be me” way, watching this guy (or futa, if you go that road) try to figure out how to use magic and how not to die on the first dungeon floor while getting distracted by every pair of tits in a ten-meter radius.

The mood swings a lot. One moment you’re counting turns in combat, trying to squeeze out that last spell with barely any mana, the next you’re getting pinned against a wall by some smug monster girl with too many curves and way too much confidence. The harem thing doesn’t just fall in your lap, you kind of earn it through quests, choices, and that slightly evil curiosity that makes you pick the option you probably shouldn’t. There is this early dungeon where you walk in thinking “ok, grind a bit, gain some XP” and end up bargaining with a horny plant girl that really, really wants to see what you can do from behind. Strategy suddenly becomes “how many skills can I use before I’m literally drained in every sense.” And I liked that the futa angle is there like a temptation, not shoved down your throat unless you ask for it. You can stay vanilla cock, or you can wake up with something extra between your legs and a whole new way to ruin NPCs. Choice hits different when it’s about what kind of dick you swing.

What surprised me most is how often I forgot I was playing a porn game and not some half-janky, half-charming RPG on itch.io. The humor lands more often than it should, with those little comments about EXP farming, hentai logic, and how nobody in fantasy worlds knows what a condom is. Sometimes the text rambles, sometimes the pacing trips, like the dev got lost in their own horny brain and just went “fuck it, more dialogue, more teasing,” and I kinda love that. There is one scene in particular, in a deeper dungeon level, where you’re low on health, you win a fight by like one lucky hit, and instead of a normal reward you get this cocky demon girl asking if the hero who nearly died wants to “use her body as a potion.” It’s porn logic, but the teasing before the actual sex is long enough you start clicking faster, half annoyed, half turned on, like a degenerate trying to skip ads on xHamster. The AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, a hand here, a weird strand of hair there, and it annoyed me way more than it should. I stared at that one broken finger in a blowjob scene far too long, and it lives in my head rent free now. Still, the mix of turn based combat, dumb jokes, fantasy races throwing themselves at you, anal and vaginal scenes popping up like loot drops, and that feeling of slowly building a harem through stats and bad decisions... I’d honestly give it “Best Use of Bad Life Choices in a Fantasy Harem” and not even say it as a joke. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Honestly wasn't expecting much when I stumbled onto this one. The whole superhero angle felt kinda played out, you know? But fuck me, this thing actually got its hooks in deep. Started playing for the card mechanics - yeah there's some strategy element that doesn't suck - but stayed for Michael's weird journey through this broken hero organization.

The photography angle is what really sells it though. You're this washed-up photographer trying to rebuild these heroes' public image, and the way they handle the voyeuristic aspects... it's not just "click button, see tits." There's actual tension in deciding what shots to take, how to frame these supposedly perfect beings when they're falling apart behind the scenes. Anna Morgenstern runs STALWART and she's got this mysterious thing going on that kept me guessing way longer than it should have. The masturbation scenes aren't just thrown in randomly either - they actually tie into the characters' psychological states and the whole power dynamic mess.

What caught me off guard was how the multiple protagonist thing works. You're mainly Michael but sometimes you get these glimpses from the heroes' perspectives, and their internal monologues during intimate moments are pretty raw. The animated sequences are smooth enough that they don't break immersion, which is more than I can say for most games trying this hard. The mobile optimization is solid too, though I played mostly on desktop because the strategy elements need more screen space. There's this whole conspiracy brewing underneath the surface that gets darker as you progress, and by the time you realize what Anna actually wants from you, you're already in too deep. The erotic thriller label isn't just marketing bullshit - they actually deliver on both fronts without one overwhelming the other.

First thing that hit me with this game is how horny the whole “board game” frame actually feels once you’re inside it. You’re not just clicking scenes, you’re basically a pawn on this smug Game Master’s table, getting moved around a dungeon that clearly cares more about tits and teasing than treasure. Every square you land on is like a dare. One moment you’re planning your next “strategic” move, the next moment a monster girl with ridiculous curves is pressing you into the wall and asking if you like your face buried in big ass or big tits first. And the game lets you lean into being a bastard dom or just… melt. It really goes hard on that push and pull between dominance and submission, you can feel it in almost every encounter. Sometimes literally, like when you choose between slapping her cheeks red or letting her ride your face while she laughs at you.

The humor is pretty trashy in the best way, like a dungeon run written by that one horny DM who never got over their monster girl folder. There’s a lot of tongue-in-cheek jokes about crit fails and “rolling for stamina” while a clingy slime girl is jerking you off in three different ways at once. I actually paused to screenshot a scene where the GM basically mocks you for picking the “wholesome” route, then immediately gives you a “bonus” in the form of a monster girl who acts shy but has hands everywhere. Handjobs are everywhere here, but they’re not just copy-paste scenes. Sometimes it’s a casual “reward” on a safe tile, sometimes it’s you pinned down with her using your cock like a joystick while you pretend you’re still in control of the fight. Vaginal stuff hits harder when you’ve actually schemed your way into it, like when you’ve been edging through groping and spanking options and finally unlock a position that feels earned, not just thrown at you.

What I didn’t expect was how much the multiple protagonist thing would mess with my brain. One run I’m this cocky male hero trying to top every monster girl into submission, another run I’m a stacked female champion getting slowly turned into the GM’s favorite toy. Swapping viewpoints changes the whole flavor of the same board, but it’s messy in a good way. You get these strategy moments where you agonize over a tile that might level your character up or might just end with you on your knees, drool on your chin, while some smug demon girl rides you and keeps “accidentally” grinding your weak spot. Sometimes the female dom stuff sneaks up on you. You think you’re the one in charge because you picked all the aggressive options, then the scene flips and suddenly you’re the one begging while she laughs, spanking you like you’re the pet. The simulator vibe shows up in how you shape your role: do you become a cruel bastard, a submissive toy, or that chaotic mix who spanks her monster girls and then gets pegged metaphorically by the GM narrative two turns later. I kinda wish the board color was different but whatever, I’m still thinking about that one scene where a monster girl sits on your lap mid “battle,” guides your hand to her ass, and the GM just writes in a rule that you lose your turn unless you make her cum. I’m not even mad. Just annoyed that the sound for one specific tile is weirdly louder than everything else and now I can’t un-hear it.

Thieves of Dingirra feels like somebody smashed a horny VN, a chill management game and a messy RPG party together, then left it on the table with a “do crimes, fuck everyone” note. You start as this sneaky bastard, the Master Thief, dropped into a city that already smells like sex and trouble, and your job is to turn a tiny gang of nobodies into the dirtiest, richest thieves guild in town. The city is split in quarters and you stare at the map thinking “ok, I’ll just send a couple idiots to pickpocket here” and suddenly you’re juggling turf wars, bribes, and who you want to bend over next. I had Chrome open with like 10 tabs, Discord pinging, Pornhub paused on another monitor, but my attention kept sliding back to “ok, one more heist, then I’ll go to sleep”. Lies, obviously.

The character creation is what hooked me too hard. You can go full male, full female, or play around with it, and the game actually reacts to what you are trying to be. I started as a cocky male thief and somehow ended up building a crew where half my lieutenants wanted to ride me, the other half wanted to rob me, and a few wanted both in the same night. You get flirty banter that slowly turns filthy: one moment you are discussing guard patrols, next moment a monster girl with horns and a tail is on her knees, tongue out, talking about “payment in kind”. The lesbian scenes caught me by surprise, in a good way. Two of the women in my guild had this slow burn thing going on, lots of snark and eye contact when I assigned missions, and when it finally blew up into a proper sex scene it was just them going down on each other in a dusty hideout, muffled moans so the guards outside don’t hear. It feels dirty in that very specific “we should not be doing this here” way. And the game is equal-opportunity filthy, you can go for guys too, get your cock sucked in some back alley deal, or slide into a more tender thing that actually has romance vibes instead of just “ok, next hole”.

The furry stuff is there, and it is not shy. The first time I took a contract from this local monster girl “fixer”, I thought it was just another contact on the map. Then I clicked through her scenes and she’s this smug cat-eared thief who steals your loot, then basically pushes you against a wall and starts grinding on your thigh while teasing you about being “too soft for Dingirra”. I picked a dialogue option that was supposed to be threatening and it just made her more turned on. Later, when the guild was big and I was trying to min-max my income per quarter, I had this stupid moment where I was staring at numbers and suddenly remembered “oh right, last time I met her she swallowed my cum in an alley and licked her paws clean like it was wine”. The game keeps mixing that: one second you’re tweaking risk levels on a job, next second you’re in a detailed blowjob scene, hearing how your partner tries to talk with your dick in their mouth. Vaginal stuff is just as graphic, with a lot of focus on how risky it is to be fucking in the middle of criminal operations. You’re banging a female thief on top of a desk piled with stolen letters, papers sticking to her sweaty back while she rides you, and she’s half laughing, half begging you to cum inside before the patrol makes its round. It’s hot and also stupid, which is kind of perfect for this setting.

At the same time the strategy side weirdly matters. You send squads on missions, adjust heat, build up control in each neighborhood, and the better you treat people, the more their personal stories open up. Some of those stories are pretty soft, almost like romance VN stuff, and then suddenly they go from “my tragic past” to “I want your tongue between my legs, right now”. I liked that, even if sometimes I just wanted to skip to the sex and the game made me read three extra lines about politics. One guy in my crew kept talking about family honor and I honestly don’t remember half of it, but I do remember the scene where he pushed me onto the bed after a successful raid, still half dressed in armor, and fucked me so hard the headboard hit the wall. There was this dumb little animation of text describing how his thrusts got rougher and I was sitting there thinking, yeah ok, this is better than whatever was on Netflix tonight. There is one UI sound that drives me crazy though, this click when you confirm some tasks, I hated it from the first minute and never got used to it, and I’m still annoyed about that and I don’t even know why. The city keeps opening up, different factions, different monsters and humans and in-between, and every time you think “ok, that’s enough kinks” the game quietly drops another option in your lap and asks if you’d like to suck it.

There’s this lazy-ass witch lying in a hammock with tits that are technically a health hazard, and somehow you’re the responsible adult in the room. That’s the basic mood. The whole world is this silly fantasy mix of horny monsters, smug magical girls, and weirdos who think “public indecency” is more like a dress code. You’re not just clicking through porn scenes, you’re actually juggling gold, energy and these four stats that sound like some RPG parody: Martial, Mystic, Charm, Trickery. It feels a bit like someone smashed a fetish VN together with a light strategy game and then just… kept all the horny parts. One run I tried to play her as a serious, powerful witch, always picking the smart Mystic solutions, and two choices later she’s on her knees worshipping a monster girl’s cock while her boobs jump up another cup size and I’m laughing at myself for thinking I had control here.

Calling it “breast expansion focus” is almost funny, because it’s not just a tag, it’s the entire spine of the game. Every run ends up turning into a science project about how far you can push those sizes before she’s basically a walking beanbag chair. The wild part is that the scenes change with her size, so a blowjob with small boobs feels totally different than the same encounter when she’s at “crush-her-own-face” levels. You get tiny details like her trying to hold her tits out of the way while she’s riding some furry wolf knight who’s way too proud of his armor, and then later that same guy just buries his hands in her chest and uses them like handles while you watch the text describe how she can barely stay upright. It’s ridiculous. It’s hot. It’s also kind of stupid in the best way. There’s a lesbian witch duel that turns into mutual groping in mid-air, one of those monster girls that’s more teeth and tongue than sense, and a smug noblewoman who switches from icy female domination to being bent over a balcony once you figure out which stat to poke her with. Sometimes you “win” a fight by outsmarting them, sometimes by letting her submit on purpose, because of course if she gets fucked, the stats get weird and the boobs get bigger. There’s no game over, just different flavors of “congratulations, you’re getting railed.”

If I had to give it a fake jam trophy, it’d be “Best Use Of Gravity As A Fetish Mechanic.” The way the writing leans into the size changes is oddly consistent, even when the tone is goofy. At low sizes, she’s flashing people just to get free drinks. At mid sizes, there’s a whole run where she’s stuck trying to squeeze through a dungeon door while a slime monster girl gropes her from behind and it takes way too long, text-wise, but I couldn’t look away. At stupid sizes, there’s a scene where she tries to cast a serious spell, trips over nothing, and ends up pressed into the dirt, ass up, boobs pinned under her chest like two living cushions while some armored monster uses her like a toy. I wished for an option to just leave her there for the rest of the game. The strategy side is simple but not brain-dead, like managing stamina in Hades but horny and slower, and you start optimizing which enemies you want to “lose” to because their dom scenes are funnier. Not every encounter lands, the humor sometimes feels like reddit cosplay captions, and there’s at least one exhibitionism bit in a city square that keeps mentioning the crowd but barely describes a single face. Still, it sticks in your head after you close the browser. That lazy witch, half-asleep in her hammock, tits overflowing her robe, asking if you really want to push for one more quest when she can barely walk? Yeah. Don’t play this on your work laptop. Actually, do. I dare you.

The game feels like somebody took a regular fantasy RPG, spilled horny brain juice all over it, then decided “ok, now we’re serious.” You start as this guy who just wants a simple life, and the world basically tells him to fuck off. Home is not safe, walls don’t help, demons literally crash into your comfort zone and everything goes to hell in a way that feels personal. After that first attack, every room feels a bit suspicious, every pretty smile feels like it might hide claws. The cool part is how the story pretends it’s about politics and survival, while every important “negotiation” somehow ends up happening with a woman who has ridiculous tits or an ass that should honestly count as a separate character. It’s like a fantasy council meeting, except you’re mostly staring at cleavage and trying not to die.

What surprised me is how strategic things get between all the horny moments. There is actual turn based combat with numbers and timing and “shit, I shouldn’t have used that skill yet” kind of thinking. You’re not just clicking “attack” and then skipping to the next sex scene. In one fight near the Scar, I misjudged a demon’s pattern, got the whole party wrecked, and then had to walk back into camp with everyone pissed at me. One of the girls calls you out in her own way, not with a long speech, but with this mix of sarcasm and “you better not waste my time again” that somehow makes the next time you fuck her feel like you earned it. The harem vibe is there, sure, but it’s not just a line of girls waiting their turn like some porn playlist on XVideos. There’s this tall warrior woman who keeps pretending she doesn’t care, then shows up half-armored and half-naked, and suddenly your “tactical choices” are about where to put your hands, not your skill points. Another girl feels softer, more romantic, the kind that makes you want to open Spotify, put on something sad, and just get lost in the way she looks at you while riding you. The game swings between romance and raw “I’m gonna ruin your back on this table” energy in a way that never fully matches what you expect.

Sometimes the worldbuilding goes a bit too heavy, like the dev had a whole novel in Google Docs and refused to cut anything. You’ll be thinking about how to squeeze in some private time with this busty sorceress, and suddenly you’re knee-deep in lore about demon incursions and power balances and weird factions that don’t know how clothes work. It’s funny, because the game tries to talk about “truth” and “strength” and “finding a way home,” but half the time I’m just hoping the next choice leads to someone pinning the protagonist to a wall and using him like a living toy. Still, I like that the sex doesn’t feel totally disconnected from the plot. You sleep with someone and it actually shifts how scenes play, who gets jealous, who suddenly becomes more helpful in battle, who pretends nothing happened but starts standing closer to you in camp. There’s something very human about making a “romantic” choice just because the girl’s ass looked insane in that one scene, and then dealing with all the fallout. Kind of like using Tinder while also trying to save a world that keeps trying to kill you. It could use less talking in some moments and more losing-yourself-in-her-moan moments, but maybe that tension is part of why it sticks in my head after I close the browser.

Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.