Tiny horny wizard kid gets the worst luck and the best luck at same time. One magic screw‑up, poof, he’s shrunk to smurf size and dumped in this village where literally every blue girl has huge tits, big bubble ass and zero real privacy. It feels like walking into a parody hentai version of a Saturday morning cartoon you half remember from childhood, except now the camera actually follows his eyes when he stares at their cleavage. The game doesn’t pretend to be polite. First minutes you’re already peeking through windows, catching a Smurfette grinding a fat dildo, blue thighs shaking, moaning in that cute cartoonish way while the protagonist is outside trying not to breathe too loud. There’s that RenPy click‑through rhythm, you know, but they keep stuffing it with animated loops of boobs bouncing, sticky handjobs, goofy tongue play, so it’s never just text box → static image → next. Sometimes it even feels like you’re scrolling through a very horny WhatsApp gallery made by a perv who grew up on 80s TV.

What I like is how it pretends to be an adventure and then keeps distracting you with groping chances. You go somewhere to “help with chores” and suddenly you’re massaging a Smurfette’s back, fingers sliding lower, grabbing a handful of that big blue ass while she half protests, half pushes back against your hand. There’s a light sandbox vibe, you wander around the village doing random shit, triggering mini scenes, sometimes nothing happens and sometimes you’re getting a sloppy blowjob in a mushroom house while her tits wobble against your thighs. I had one scene where she’s riding your cock, oversized breasts bouncing all over the place, and the camera basically forgets his face exists and just locks on her nipples smearing with drool and cum. Felt like some horny Instagram reel I shouldn’t be watching at work, except with goblin‑ish magic jokes. The parody is a bit all over the place, it misremembers stuff from the original show in a funny way, like it knows the nostalgia but doesn’t really care about being correct. Sometimes that made me grin, sometimes I rolled my eyes, but then a monster girl pops out of the forest, pinning the guy to the ground and teasing his dick with a clawed foot, and suddenly I forget what I was annoyed about. It’s kinda messy, kinda clumsy, but when a blue babe pushes your cock between her tits and starts a wet titfuck while another one watches through a crack in the door, hand in her panties, tongue out, the only real problem is that you can’t climb inside the screen.

Mooncity feels like that messy shelf in my figure closet where everything is thrown together, but somehow my eye still goes first to the cute dangerous girl with blood on her sword. The story pretends to be about this quiet guy, Welt, shipbuilder boy who just wants to care his mom and mind his own boring life, but the city basically grabs him by the collar and drags him through filth and boobs at same time. One street has cult idiots, next corner some gang shaking people for coins, then suddenly, oh, fluffy-eared escort leaning on the wall, tail flicking, asking if he wants “company” like she’s talking about tea instead of grinding his soul out of his body. I like that the game acts serious and horny in same breath. Sometimes it even works. Sometimes it feels like drunk fanfic I still bookmark.

The visual novel parts do a lot of heavy lifting here. You click, you read, you choose, and then suddenly you are in a brothel room with a wolf-girl warrior who has scars on her belly and this smug smile like she already undressed you ten moves ago in her head. She talks about work, about hunting monsters, about how she loves strong men, and then mid-sentence she just straddles the poor boy and rides him until his legs look like jelly. There is no shy fade to black, she keeps talking, teasing, asking if he likes being squeezed by strong thighs, if he prefers claws on his back or soft fur on his face. And when you think “okay, that was the lewd scene”, she just flips him over and starts using him like toy. I hated that. I replayed it three times. The monster girls are like that too: one flower-demon girl in the arena smiles really sweet, with petals on her head like cute headband, then traps Welt in thick vines, spreads his legs and makes him cum just from rubbing plant tendrils against his cock while audience screams for blood. It is awful and yes, I have screenshots saved in my Telegram chat with myself. By the way, the fishing minigame can go fuck itself, why is it more annoying than fighting actual monsters? Anyway. The turn-based combat surprised me because sometimes it suddenly gets rough in a fun way, like you think this is just grinding, but losing a fight means you wake up half naked, covered in bite marks from some catgirl thug, wallet empty and dignity missing, and you kind of want to lose again just to see what she does if she gets bored. The game world is cruel, filthy, too horny in stupid places and not horny enough in one or two scenes I really wanted more, but Mooncity feels alive in that sick, cute, broken way I keep collecting in my heart.

Calendar-wise, this one is absolutely a messy fantasy for that awkward “post-Christmas, pre-New-Year, I hate my family and want orc dick” week. You boot it up thinking, alright, some generic elf revenge story, I’ll tab out to Twitter every five minutes. Then the game throws this skinny, pissed-off sorcerer elf prince at you, Xareth, with this permanent “I’m better than everyone” face, and literally ten minutes later he’s getting his ass grabbed by a mountain of green muscle in a fur loincloth, and suddenly you’re not checking your phone anymore. It starts like political drama, father dethroned, kingdom stolen by some scammer king, blabla, royal duty, magic training, all that, and then out of nowhere you’re crouched behind a rock, watching orcs train shirtless, sweaty, slamming into each other like a gay rugby team that lost their clothes. And the game is just like, yeah, you can stare. Or walk up. Or grope. No explanation, no moral questions, just “do you want the big orc, the bigger orc, or the scarred orc that definitely knows five ways to rearrange your spine during anal”.

What I love and hate is how it pretends to be serious story one second, then goes full horny chaos the next. There’s this scene where you sneak into the orc camp as a “diplomat” and you’re trying to talk politics, like, “help me take back my throne,” and the chieftain is only half listening because he’s staring at Xareth’s ass. You get a dialogue choice: keep talking strategy, or let him “inspect the merchandise.” I picked strategy, because I’m boring, and he still grabbed Xareth, pushed him over some crude wooden table, and started fingering him from behind while discussing battle routes. It’s stupid and hot at the same time. The camera lingers way too long on how Xareth is trying to keep a straight face while getting stretched open, his hand shaking over the war map. And the worst part, I laughed, because the music is still trying to sound epic while you’re basically doing backroom porn with flags and torches. The oral scenes are rough too, like, not “cute blowjob,” more “orc uses your throat like it’s a warm sleeve,” especially in that group sex bath event where Xareth ends up kneeling between two orcs, one in his mouth, one ramming him from behind, and another one just… watching? For no reason? And I swear the watcher was the hottest. Or not. I keep changing my mind about that guy. Anyway, there’s also this sudden interracial monster encounter in a forest cave, where some corrupted beast-thing corners Xareth, and you’re like “ah cool, boss fight,” then the combat fades out and it shoves him against the rocks, claws tracing his muscles, and the game goes, “Do you resist, or see what happens?” and at that point I just accepted that this world runs on cum instead of logic. Twitter crashed on my phone during that scene and I forgot to open it again.

It leans hard into the whole “muscle orc, slender elf” contrast, which normally I’m kinda tired of, but here they play with it enough to keep it alive. There’s an early campfire scene where Xareth is pretending he’s in control, trying to negotiate which tribe will support him, and this broad-shouldered orc with big tusks just sits behind him, wraps one arm around that tiny waist and starts palming his cock through his robes, casual as hell, like it’s normal diplomacy. Xareth still talks about alliances while his voice gets shakier, and the text actually reacts to how long you let it go before you pick a choice. I got distracted scrolling Discord during that, came back, and the game was describing how wet his ass already was just from grinding on the orc’s thigh. I complained to myself about the font in the dialogue box not matching the vibe, and then immediately forgot about it because suddenly there’s multiple penetration in a war tent, with two orcs sandwiching him, one in his ass, one pushing into his mouth, and a third guy holding his hair and making him look each of them in the eye while they fuck him. That scene actually made me pause to drink water. Not because of the intensity, but because I kept trying to see if Xareth was still pretending to be prince or just fully orc cumdump already. The game never really decides, and honestly I like that. Or I don’t. Depends on which route I clicked last. There’s a late-game bit where you finally march against the fake king, and on the way there, instead of big speeches, you’re in the back of a wagon, sprawled over an orc’s lap, getting lazy morning anal while another guy feeds you fruit and his fingers “accidentally” slip into your mouth. I wanted more political intrigue there, but then the camera showed this ridiculous close-up of Xareth’s big ass bouncing with every thrust and yeah, alright, fine, happy holidays to me.