You pull up to this creepy old family estate with your aunt, thinking it’s just some boring photo job before the place gets sold off. Empty hallways, dusty furniture, that old house smell that feels like it sticks to your clothes. Not sexy at all at first. Then the highway gets blocked by a wreck, phone signal dies a sad little death, and suddenly you’re stuck there for the night with your “aunt” who looks more like someone’s porn search history than a real relative. Big tits barely contained, that kind of ass that makes you forget basic manners, and this weird tension where every “innocent” touch feels like it’s about one step away from turning into a hand on your thigh. The game just leans into that slow burn, like it knows exactly how wrong this whole setup is and doesn’t give a fuck.

It’s a kinetic thing, so you’re not here sweating decisions, you’re here to watch this guy slowly lose his moral compass while ghosts, shadows, and other shit that probably shouldn’t exist keep poking holes in his sense of reality. One minute you’re walking around rooms that feel too big and too quiet, getting this cold horror vibe, and the next your aunt is bending over the wrong way and your brain is like “yeah, I’d risk the family curse for that.” The paranormal stuff isn’t just for jumpscares either. There’s this monster girl scene where the line between “I should run” and “I should fuck this” basically vanishes, and the game just smiles at you while you try to pretend you’re not into it. Humor pops up at weird times too, like the protagonist reacting to something terrifying with horny sarcasm instead of fear, and it actually works. You’ll be going from being low-key freaked out by a shadow in the doorframe to watching a blowjob with a sex toy involved and thinking “okay, priorities, sure.”

Romance here is screwed up in the best way. It’s not tender, it’s not clean, it’s two lonely people in a haunted house using each other while pretending it’s about “comfort” and “closeness.” There’s a masturbation scene where the MC thinks nobody is watching, except of course something is, and the whole voyeuristic thing just slaps harder because of how exposed he looks. The exhibitionism hits in small doses: a half-open door, someone almost walking in, maybe a ghost lurking while she rides you, that kind of “someone could see” pressure that makes everything hotter. Oral, vaginal, toys, big curves shoved in your face, the works, and it all happens in this weird mix of horror and comedy where you’re aroused, then on edge, then laughing at a stupid line. It’s messy, morally fucked, and not even pretending to be wholesome. Honestly feels less like a polished porn fantasy and more like some horny fever dream you had after binging horror movies and scrolling Pornhub at the same time.

This thing starts like you woke up inside some fucked up femdom hentai Reddit thread that got too much budget and too much soap opera. You die, blink, and boom, new world where every woman looks like she could crush your skull with her thighs and every dude looks like they escaped from a pastel boykisser meme and never touched their own dick on purpose. You’re the weird one here, the “normal” guy from a world where porn tabs are just part of morning routine, suddenly stuck in a place where girls are horny like teenage boys and boys act like sex is a chore and feelings are a weapon. Society is panicking, fertility going to shit, so everybody is slowly losing it in different ways. On the surface it’s funny, like parody of isekai and those dumb “Amazon planet” comics, and then it goes “ok now mommy wants to ride you while lecturing you about family values” and it doesn’t blink.

Your new “family” is where it gets horny and messy at the same time. They treat you like this pure puppy they can train, all soft and innocent, while the screen is literally showing your adoptive milf licking precum off your shaft and calling it “research.” They think you don’t know what’s going on. Joke is on them, you’re corrupt little shit from the start, but the game kinda makes you work up to it. Early on there is a ton of teasing: shower doors left half open, tight shirts with nipples poking through, “accidental” grinding during hugs, long POV shots of you trying not to cum in your pants while someone’s amazon ass is right in your face. There is masturbation scenes everywhere, like everyone in this house has different idea of “me time.” The mom going at it with a monster toy that actually reacts and wiggles, the bratty femboy cousin hate-masturbating while calling all other males trash, that one ghost girl that literally jerks you off while invisible and you watch your cock move in the air with sloppy sounds. Half paranormal horror, half “I’m cumming on nothing, what the fuck.”

Sex itself is pretty wild. It is not just “press button, insert dick, win.” The girls are big, strong, usually in charge, pinning you on the bed, grabbing your throat, riding you until you start begging, then laughing at you for being such a good little toy. Lots of corruption vibes both ways. At first they try to keep you “cute” and soft, dressing you in girly clothes, thigh highs, even trying to tuck you in like some sissy femboy. Then you slowly start using their own kinks against them. You get scenes where you suddenly rail the milf from behind while she tries to keep her “I’m in control” voice and just ends up drooling and shaking, or you make the proud amazon sister blush like crazy when you pull her hair and whisper nasty stuff in her ear. There is lesbian stuff on the side when you watch two monster girls going at each other, one with futa cock slapping around and dripping, while you either jerk to it or end up in the middle like human toy. The camera goes full POV sometimes, like your field of vision is just thighs clapping on your hips, tits bouncing in your face, sweat and spit flying, your own voice somewhere between moan and panic. It is hot, it is kinda wrong, and the game knows it and keeps poking at you about “saving the world” while you’re balls deep in someone who calls you “son” with a straight face.

The Warrior of Light is fucked up in the head and the body, in the best way. You start not as some fresh rookie, but as a hero who already burned through all the epic bullshit and paid for it. Your power runs on feelings, and you basically overdosed on emotions. So now the plot is simple and kinda genius: to get your strength back, you need therapy that is not really therapy, more like “let’s weaponize affection, horniness and cuddling” while you crawl through this weird mix of parody fantasy and horny sandbox. It feels like someone read the source material with one hand and a grin, then asked: “ok but what if all the bonding scenes actually went where the fanfics always wanted them to go?”

You hop around locations like a point and click pervert, poking at things, pestering girls and guys, flirting with monster cuties that really should not be that adorable. One moment you chill with a smug mage who keeps teasing you about “purely magical research”, next moment a towering monster girl is talking about eating you and you are not sure if she means your soul or your cock. The game lets you play both as the big-name hero and, in some scenes, slide into a female POV who is just as horny and just as messy. Lesbian moments don’t feel like they were slapped in for a tag checklist, you actually get that slow, stupid build: hands brushing, a joke that goes too far, a dare, then suddenly you are between her thighs and she is trying not to be too loud and failing. There is gay content too where your so-called “bro” from past battles suddenly remembers how intense your bond is and decides the best way to help you recover is to jerk you off while talking about old campaigns like it's totally normal. Straight stuff, anal, oral, soft romance, nasty power play, it is all there, but mixed so casual it almost feels like hanging out with old party members who just stopped pretending.

In between all this sex comedy, the game still remembers it is an RPG. There is turn based combat that looks kind of silly for someone who already saved the world, because sometimes you are fighting with your dick basically on cooldown. Skills fueled by emotions mean a blowjob scene can literally make you stronger in the next fight, which is extremely stupid and somehow perfect. You’ll be doing little “therapy sessions” where a lover slowly jerks you off while asking about your trauma, and then the UI happily shows your stats going up as you moan through it. The humor is half shitpost, half affectionate roast of the original story: characters misquote dramatic lines while riding you, someone tries to give a heartfelt speech and keeps getting interrupted by your hand on their ass. It is rough in places, not every joke lands, sometimes the sandbox pacing goes weird and you are stuck clicking through flirting when you just want to get railed, but that unpolished feeling makes it more like a horny fan project that grew too big and never learned how to behave. One scene you’re carefully romancing a shy girl, whispering sweet nothings while you lick her, next scene a smug dragon girl is using your face like a chair and calling it “treatment” for your emotional overload. It should not work. It kind of does.

Kanoi Academy looks like one of those fancy anime schools from Pinterest, but right away the whole place feels kinda wrong, in a good “oh shit what did I just click” way. You’re Jin, this completely regular dude who somehow got invited to a place where everyone else is a genius, a prodigy, or at least pretending really hard. And then they throw you into this “Friendship Club”, which sounds cute and harmless until you realize friendship here means awkward flirting in empty classrooms, accidentally getting a face full of tits when someone trips, and talking about trauma right after a blowjob like it’s a normal club activity. One second you’re laughing at some dumb joke about homework, next second there’s a girl with a ridiculous ass grinding on your lap in the club room while you both pretend to be “practicing communication skills”. The game really leans into that school slice of life thing, but twists it just enough so even simple stuff like a walk to the dorms at night feels like it might turn into a horror scene or a handjob behind the bushes. Or both. Somehow both fits this place.

What surprised me is how much it jumps between horny and kinda fucked up without warning. You’ll be joking around with this bubbly girl who loves teasing you, she’s pressing her big soft tits into you, breathing in your ear while you’re trying not to bust in your pants. Then she says something real heavy, like she’s only here because her parents treat her like a project, not a person, and the mood just crashes for a second. Then she drops to her knees in the same scene, opens your fly, and starts sucking you off like it’s stress relief, messy spit on her lips, her eyes getting teary for more than one reason. It’s weirdly hot and sad at the same time. A lot of the sex plays like that: vaginal with slow, deep thrusts where the camera hangs on the way her body shakes, or quick desperate fucking when you’re both half dressed, her skirt pushed up, panties around her thigh, your hands fighting with her huge ass because you can’t grab it all. The 3D style works fine here, sometimes it looks stiff, but there are moments where a character just tilts her head or smirks and it hits way harder than it should. Also, the horror angle pops up when you least expect it: late night hallway, no music, light flickering, you hear something behind you, think it’s ghost shit, and it’s actually a girl you know, standing too close, whispering she’s been “waiting for you” with that smile that says romance on top but some real obsession hiding under it. Then she drags you into an empty room, locks the door, and suddenly your biggest problem is not monsters, it’s whether you can last more than a minute while her mouth works your cock like she practiced on lollipops her whole life. The game keeps doing that, turning horny into creepy, creepy into sweet, sweet into full on fucking in some quiet corner of the campus, like the whole academy is a sandbox of messed up feelings and wet thighs. You’re not really a hero here, just a guy pulling at threads, making choices, getting sucked into everyone’s drama, and somehow that makes every kiss, every joke, every time you slide inside someone and hear that first sharp gasp feel a bit more real than it has any right to.

You open your eyes and you’re already in trouble. No menu tutorial, no long lore dump, just this weird otherworld vibe and a glowing crystal that basically says “congrats, you’re screwed, go seduce elemental spirits or everything dies.” It sounds super dramatic, but the game treats it like you just got hired for the horniest internship ever. One moment you’re asking what the hell is a sephira anyway, next moment there’s this spirit girl with ridiculous tits acting like she’s way above you and still somehow ends up on her knees, drooling on your cock while trash-talking you for enjoying it too much. The tone jumps all the time: you’re saving the world, but also getting jerked off by a smug goddess behind a half-open curtain while other spirits pretend they don’t see. It feels like some horny parody of heroic fantasy, except sometimes it hits something oddly sweet, then immediately ruins it with a sloppy blowjob CG where she’s looking up like she wants to devour your soul through your shaft.

What works is how the girls all feel like they’re spying on each other, and on you. You can be alone with one in a garden, her boobs barely crammed into this “armor” that looks like it would snap if she breathed too hard, and you still have this sense someone is watching from the bushes, fingering herself while you shove her friend’s face into your lap. The game leans hard into the voyeur vibe without always saying it. You get scenes where you’re supposed to “seal” a spirit’s power, and sealing basically means fucking her stupid while her magic leaks out of her body in glowy effects that make zero physical sense, yet somehow you get it. One had you sitting on a throne while several girls kneel around you, one stroking you slow, another licking at the tip while a third just squeezes your balls like she’s testing fruit in a supermarket. It visualizes “harem” in a way that feels messy and clumsy, like someone’s fantasy sketchbook that escaped from their hard drive, and honestly I respect that a bit. It’s not subtle. At all.

There’s this one scene that stuck in my head: a proud, bossy wind spirit that spent the whole route making fun of you, calling you weak, calling your dick “average” in that bratty tone, ends up riding you so hard her huge ass is slapping against your thighs, boobs bouncing up to her chin, while she threatens to crush your soul if you cum without permission. Then the game just lets you ignore her and finish deep anyway, and she breaks, eyes rolling up, drool stringing off her tongue, pretending she’s furious while her body clearly loves it. It should feel repetitive, but it doesn’t really, maybe because every girl has a slightly different flavor of bullying you, or pretending you’re beneath them while they’re choking on your cock. Jokes land in this dumb, charming way too, like a fire spirit complaining about “world-ending stakes” while jerking you off lazily, or a quiet one in the back of the orgy grabbing your hand and guiding it to her tits like “hey, don’t forget I exist.” The game looks like it was made more for the filthy CGs than for elegance, and yeah, some poses are awkward and some faces look a little off, but when you’re watching your character buried under a pile of naked spirits, multiple hands stroking, tongues everywhere, that stuff kind of melts away. It’s not refined, but it’s horny in a very honest, slightly unhinged way, like a late-night Discord server fantasy that became a real thing you can click through while one hand is busy.

Fairy tales in this thing start out pretty normal, like you might really think “ok, I know where this is going, princess, castle, hero, bla bla,” and then suddenly the hero is face first between some witch’s thighs, licking like his life depends on it while three other girls watch and comment on his tongue skills. The tone is funny and horny at the same time, which is weird, because sometimes I was laughing at a joke about a sloppy blowjob right when the girl is drooling all over the guy’s cock and gagging on it. Text often plays around, like it knows you read a lot of porn games already, lots of small jabs at “brave chosen one” clichés, then you click one more choice and the “brave chosen one” is on his knees, sucking a futa knight’s cock clean after she wrecked his ass. I liked the humor, or maybe I didn’t, I still can’t decide, but it stuck in my head. Feels like those late-night fanfic binges on AO3 where the author is clearly horny and also a bit too online.

Scenes lean heavy into bodies, big asses everywhere, thick thighs wrapped around heads, girls grinding on each other like they just skipped ten pages of plot. You pick a path and it can go soft or totally filthy pretty fast. One moment you’re in a “pure” fairytale forest, next moment the “pure” elf princess is riding the MC’s face while her maid fingers her own ass in the background like it’s totally normal housework. The group scenes get pretty chaotic in a good way: two girls kissing on the side, another one jerking the guy off while he is balls deep in someone else, hands wandering, someone always groping someone. Lesbian stuff is not just a warm-up either, sometimes the guy is basically furniture while the girls are grinding and licking, then when they finally remember him, they use his cock just to finish the job, with creampies as a sort of final stamp. As a pacifist player I skipped everything that looked like “challenge” and just spammed through to see how many times I could push characters into “ok, one more round” sex. It’s kind of funny that the story talks about fate and quests, but I spent half the time checking if I could get one more anal scene out of the same character instead. And I still feel low-key annoyed by that one scene where the camera lingers on a plate of food on the table instead of the girl swallowing a mouthful of cum, like who thought that was the important part to show.

Lucio’s whole life is basically tits, cards, and terrible business decisions, and the game just throws you in the middle of that mess like “yeah, good luck, boss.” You’re this guy who somehow owns a brand new casino and has no idea how to not fuck it up. Every choice you make swings between “professional owner” and “degenerate perv” and the girls react to that. The casino feels like your hunting ground and your prison at same time. One minute you’re pretending to care about revenue and poker odds, next minute you’re staring at a redhead dealer trying to remember how to speak because her shirt keeps slipping lower every time you raise the bet. It’s very much a visual novel brain, so you’re clicking through dialogue, watching CGs pop up, choosing lines that range from smooth to “wow, I should be arrested for saying that.” The humor is stupid in a good way, like the game is constantly winking at you. It knows you’re here to see big tits and big asses bouncing around the poker tables, and it doesn’t try to be high art or some shit. The AI CGs sometimes look a little too clean, like the girls are models in some weird casino catalog, but that actually kinda works with the parody vibe.

What I liked most is that the “romance” is horny as hell but still feels like a slow burn, especially if you’re the type who plays solo and reads everything like it’s your personal soap opera. Teasing is the main dish here. Girls lean in close, whisper bullshit in your ear, bend over to pick up cards, pretend they don’t notice your eyes are stuck to their cleavage, then pull back right before you think “ok, now we fuck.” Clothing disappears step by step. First jacket, then the tight shirt, then the bra just slightly moved so you see the side of the nipple in one CG, then next scene she’s sitting in your lap in only panties talking about “raising the stakes” and you’re like yeah ok I guess productivity is dead today. I had one scene where I kept winning at poker against this stacked redhead, and every time she lost she had to remove something. The way the camera slowly goes lower, from her smug face to those heavy tits squeezed in a bra that’s absolutely losing the war, to her ass pressed against the chair, was way more exciting than just “here’s full nudity in 2 clicks.” And at the same time, sometimes the transitions between scenes are really abrupt, like you go from joking to almost sex in a single text box and it feels like the script skipped a page, but then she cracks a dumb joke about your “poker face” and it somehow fits again. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s half-romance half shameless strip show, and the whole casino feels like it exists only so Lucio can surround himself with a mini harem of big tit redheads and other walking distractions while pretending it’s all about the cards.

Ash is a horny idiot in this one, and I mean that in a good way. The whole thing feels like someone took the old Pokémon anime, mixed it with a dumb meme thread from Reddit, then said “ok but what if it was all about fucking Sarena instead of catching anything.” You start as this slightly older Ash, already a trainer, already a bit cocky, but still dense as hell about romance. Sarena is glued to him, you can see she wants his dick from like the first scene, and he’s out here talking about training strategy while her skirt keeps riding higher. The game keeps playing with that contrast. One moment they’re arguing about which move is best for a gym fight, next scene she’s pressing him against a wall in some random Pokémon Center corridor and asking very clearly if he wants her. It sort of pretends to be wholesome romance for like one scene, and then the clothes just… vanish.

What caught me off guard is how the “puzzle” stuff is not really about brain work, it’s more like soft foreplay with extra steps. There’s one scene where you’re moving little icons around, matching types and moves, and the more correct chains you make, the more Sarena’s outfit changes. At first it’s just a jacket off, then stockings get ripped, then suddenly she’s in this insane lingerie that no normal trainer would wear outdoors. I actually got stuck on a really simple tile rotate thing because I was looking at her ass on the side panel, twitching every time the CG updated. It annoyed me so much because the rotation was like 90 degrees off and I kept misclicking, and the game never explains the rules properly, it just expects your horny brain to figure it out. Then, right after you finally solve it, the reward scene is Sarena pushing Ash down on the grass and riding him like he’s a mount, all while teasing him about being better at “other kinds of training.” That whole bit is ridiculously hot and also kind of stupid, in a good way. Or maybe not good, I’m not even sure.

Combat is there, but it’s basically foreplay with hit points. You pick moves, watch a short sequence, and the actual important part is that Sarena comments on how “worked up” he gets when he wins. There’s this one battle where if you choose a more reckless, high damage combo, Sarena later pins Ash to a tree and says she likes his aggressive side, then starts rubbing him through his pants while talking about strategy like nothing is happening. And if you play it safer in that same fight, she instead cuddles up in the tent afterward and slowly talks him into undressing, like a slow burn scene that suddenly turns filthy when she climbs on top and starts using her mouth first, then more. The game pretends your choices matter a lot, but actually the result is always Sarena getting fucked silly, only the route to reach that changes a bit. I loved that, and at the same time it made everything feel cheap, like “wow, my big moral choice just decides if she rides him facing forward or backward.” Still, when Ash finally grabs her hips and slams into her from behind while she’s half bent over her travel bag, moaning about how she doesn’t care about badges anymore, only him, I completely forgot I wanted something smarter from it. He is still a virgin idiot in some scenes, and somehow also a sex god in others, but whatever. It’s horny Pokémon parody brain, not science.

Holy Shaft feels like somebody mashed together a horny visual novel, a shitty elevator safety video and a humiliation kink discord, then forgot to proofread anything and just shipped it. Which kinda works, somehow. You start in this janky little elevator that looks like it should be going to the office, but instead every floor is a new “what the hell did I walk into” situation. It’s not long-winded at all: door opens, you get smacked in the face with a scenario, you pick your poison, you get either sex, pain, cringe, or all three at once. Then ding, next floor. I was basically treating it like an achievement hunt: “ok, what do I have to say or click here to get her to pull out the toys instead of just slapping me and kicking me out again?” That kind of vibe. Sometimes the game rewards you with a proper scene, sometimes it feels like you got blueballed by the script, but you can kind of see the invisible flowchart in your head after a few runs and it becomes this weird puzzle of horny cause and effect.

What stuck to me most are those tiny branching moments where you think “this answer is stupid, no one picks this,” and of course that’s the one that opens the best scene. There’s this one floor where you can either play it polite or lean into being a complete degenerate. The polite path gives you like two lines and a half-assed tease. Go full trash, and suddenly she’s got a toolbox worth of sex toys out and you’re watching her decide if you deserve the vibrator or the paddle first. The animation is simple but it hits the important parts: jiggle, impact, expressions that actually change when you mess up or push too far. I liked how some characters take your earlier choices personally. Humiliate someone on one floor, then later you see her again and she’s way more rough with you, like she’s keeping score. Or you play submissive all the way and some of them switch into this mocking, playful bullying that feels like soft degradation porn. Sometimes it looks a bit cheap, like “Unity test build with horny plugin” energy, and some punchlines fall flat like an old meme, but then you get a scene where the spanking rhythm syncs with the sound and suddenly it’s way hotter than it has any right to be. The multiple endings thing, honestly, feels more like a set of “you were a good little perv / you were a trash fire” medals than big cinematic finales, but if you’re like me and have a notepad in Google Keep with “ok, Floor 3: choose rude option twice, then agree, then don’t back out” scribbled down, it scratches that completionist brain hard enough you keep riding that cursed elevator again and again.