Fairy tales in this thing start out pretty normal, like you might really think “ok, I know where this is going, princess, castle, hero, bla bla,” and then suddenly the hero is face first between some witch’s thighs, licking like his life depends on it while three other girls watch and comment on his tongue skills. The tone is funny and horny at the same time, which is weird, because sometimes I was laughing at a joke about a sloppy blowjob right when the girl is drooling all over the guy’s cock and gagging on it. Text often plays around, like it knows you read a lot of porn games already, lots of small jabs at “brave chosen one” clichés, then you click one more choice and the “brave chosen one” is on his knees, sucking a futa knight’s cock clean after she wrecked his ass. I liked the humor, or maybe I didn’t, I still can’t decide, but it stuck in my head. Feels like those late-night fanfic binges on AO3 where the author is clearly horny and also a bit too online.

Scenes lean heavy into bodies, big asses everywhere, thick thighs wrapped around heads, girls grinding on each other like they just skipped ten pages of plot. You pick a path and it can go soft or totally filthy pretty fast. One moment you’re in a “pure” fairytale forest, next moment the “pure” elf princess is riding the MC’s face while her maid fingers her own ass in the background like it’s totally normal housework. The group scenes get pretty chaotic in a good way: two girls kissing on the side, another one jerking the guy off while he is balls deep in someone else, hands wandering, someone always groping someone. Lesbian stuff is not just a warm-up either, sometimes the guy is basically furniture while the girls are grinding and licking, then when they finally remember him, they use his cock just to finish the job, with creampies as a sort of final stamp. As a pacifist player I skipped everything that looked like “challenge” and just spammed through to see how many times I could push characters into “ok, one more round” sex. It’s kind of funny that the story talks about fate and quests, but I spent half the time checking if I could get one more anal scene out of the same character instead. And I still feel low-key annoyed by that one scene where the camera lingers on a plate of food on the table instead of the girl swallowing a mouthful of cum, like who thought that was the important part to show.

Lucio’s whole life is basically tits, cards, and terrible business decisions, and the game just throws you in the middle of that mess like “yeah, good luck, boss.” You’re this guy who somehow owns a brand new casino and has no idea how to not fuck it up. Every choice you make swings between “professional owner” and “degenerate perv” and the girls react to that. The casino feels like your hunting ground and your prison at same time. One minute you’re pretending to care about revenue and poker odds, next minute you’re staring at a redhead dealer trying to remember how to speak because her shirt keeps slipping lower every time you raise the bet. It’s very much a visual novel brain, so you’re clicking through dialogue, watching CGs pop up, choosing lines that range from smooth to “wow, I should be arrested for saying that.” The humor is stupid in a good way, like the game is constantly winking at you. It knows you’re here to see big tits and big asses bouncing around the poker tables, and it doesn’t try to be high art or some shit. The AI CGs sometimes look a little too clean, like the girls are models in some weird casino catalog, but that actually kinda works with the parody vibe.

What I liked most is that the “romance” is horny as hell but still feels like a slow burn, especially if you’re the type who plays solo and reads everything like it’s your personal soap opera. Teasing is the main dish here. Girls lean in close, whisper bullshit in your ear, bend over to pick up cards, pretend they don’t notice your eyes are stuck to their cleavage, then pull back right before you think “ok, now we fuck.” Clothing disappears step by step. First jacket, then the tight shirt, then the bra just slightly moved so you see the side of the nipple in one CG, then next scene she’s sitting in your lap in only panties talking about “raising the stakes” and you’re like yeah ok I guess productivity is dead today. I had one scene where I kept winning at poker against this stacked redhead, and every time she lost she had to remove something. The way the camera slowly goes lower, from her smug face to those heavy tits squeezed in a bra that’s absolutely losing the war, to her ass pressed against the chair, was way more exciting than just “here’s full nudity in 2 clicks.” And at the same time, sometimes the transitions between scenes are really abrupt, like you go from joking to almost sex in a single text box and it feels like the script skipped a page, but then she cracks a dumb joke about your “poker face” and it somehow fits again. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s half-romance half shameless strip show, and the whole casino feels like it exists only so Lucio can surround himself with a mini harem of big tit redheads and other walking distractions while pretending it’s all about the cards.

Ash is a horny idiot in this one, and I mean that in a good way. The whole thing feels like someone took the old Pokémon anime, mixed it with a dumb meme thread from Reddit, then said “ok but what if it was all about fucking Sarena instead of catching anything.” You start as this slightly older Ash, already a trainer, already a bit cocky, but still dense as hell about romance. Sarena is glued to him, you can see she wants his dick from like the first scene, and he’s out here talking about training strategy while her skirt keeps riding higher. The game keeps playing with that contrast. One moment they’re arguing about which move is best for a gym fight, next scene she’s pressing him against a wall in some random Pokémon Center corridor and asking very clearly if he wants her. It sort of pretends to be wholesome romance for like one scene, and then the clothes just… vanish.

What caught me off guard is how the “puzzle” stuff is not really about brain work, it’s more like soft foreplay with extra steps. There’s one scene where you’re moving little icons around, matching types and moves, and the more correct chains you make, the more Sarena’s outfit changes. At first it’s just a jacket off, then stockings get ripped, then suddenly she’s in this insane lingerie that no normal trainer would wear outdoors. I actually got stuck on a really simple tile rotate thing because I was looking at her ass on the side panel, twitching every time the CG updated. It annoyed me so much because the rotation was like 90 degrees off and I kept misclicking, and the game never explains the rules properly, it just expects your horny brain to figure it out. Then, right after you finally solve it, the reward scene is Sarena pushing Ash down on the grass and riding him like he’s a mount, all while teasing him about being better at “other kinds of training.” That whole bit is ridiculously hot and also kind of stupid, in a good way. Or maybe not good, I’m not even sure.

Combat is there, but it’s basically foreplay with hit points. You pick moves, watch a short sequence, and the actual important part is that Sarena comments on how “worked up” he gets when he wins. There’s this one battle where if you choose a more reckless, high damage combo, Sarena later pins Ash to a tree and says she likes his aggressive side, then starts rubbing him through his pants while talking about strategy like nothing is happening. And if you play it safer in that same fight, she instead cuddles up in the tent afterward and slowly talks him into undressing, like a slow burn scene that suddenly turns filthy when she climbs on top and starts using her mouth first, then more. The game pretends your choices matter a lot, but actually the result is always Sarena getting fucked silly, only the route to reach that changes a bit. I loved that, and at the same time it made everything feel cheap, like “wow, my big moral choice just decides if she rides him facing forward or backward.” Still, when Ash finally grabs her hips and slams into her from behind while she’s half bent over her travel bag, moaning about how she doesn’t care about badges anymore, only him, I completely forgot I wanted something smarter from it. He is still a virgin idiot in some scenes, and somehow also a sex god in others, but whatever. It’s horny Pokémon parody brain, not science.

Holy Shaft feels like somebody mashed together a horny visual novel, a shitty elevator safety video and a humiliation kink discord, then forgot to proofread anything and just shipped it. Which kinda works, somehow. You start in this janky little elevator that looks like it should be going to the office, but instead every floor is a new “what the hell did I walk into” situation. It’s not long-winded at all: door opens, you get smacked in the face with a scenario, you pick your poison, you get either sex, pain, cringe, or all three at once. Then ding, next floor. I was basically treating it like an achievement hunt: “ok, what do I have to say or click here to get her to pull out the toys instead of just slapping me and kicking me out again?” That kind of vibe. Sometimes the game rewards you with a proper scene, sometimes it feels like you got blueballed by the script, but you can kind of see the invisible flowchart in your head after a few runs and it becomes this weird puzzle of horny cause and effect.

What stuck to me most are those tiny branching moments where you think “this answer is stupid, no one picks this,” and of course that’s the one that opens the best scene. There’s this one floor where you can either play it polite or lean into being a complete degenerate. The polite path gives you like two lines and a half-assed tease. Go full trash, and suddenly she’s got a toolbox worth of sex toys out and you’re watching her decide if you deserve the vibrator or the paddle first. The animation is simple but it hits the important parts: jiggle, impact, expressions that actually change when you mess up or push too far. I liked how some characters take your earlier choices personally. Humiliate someone on one floor, then later you see her again and she’s way more rough with you, like she’s keeping score. Or you play submissive all the way and some of them switch into this mocking, playful bullying that feels like soft degradation porn. Sometimes it looks a bit cheap, like “Unity test build with horny plugin” energy, and some punchlines fall flat like an old meme, but then you get a scene where the spanking rhythm syncs with the sound and suddenly it’s way hotter than it has any right to be. The multiple endings thing, honestly, feels more like a set of “you were a good little perv / you were a trash fire” medals than big cinematic finales, but if you’re like me and have a notepad in Google Keep with “ok, Floor 3: choose rude option twice, then agree, then don’t back out” scribbled down, it scratches that completionist brain hard enough you keep riding that cursed elevator again and again.

You wake up in a city where every elf looks like she escaped from some horny painter’s sketchbook, and apparently the whole place has one huge problem: nobody’s getting pregnant. Not for lack of trying, by the way. The queen’s got temples for fertility, the nobles have private “healers,” and the taverns are basically audition rooms with free booze. Still no babies. Then you show up, confused, broke, probably dead a moment ago, and this icy elf mage with eyes like she’s constantly judging your browser history goes, “Yeah, you. You’re the solution. Strip.”

That’s Meliara. She’s your jailer, your handler, your “scientist,” and sometimes your dom, depending what choices you make. In one scene she literally writes your “stats” in her notebook while jerking you off with the coldest poker face, then asks you to rate your own performance while you’re still panting. Another time, if you play the “cocky chosen one” route, she just shoves you on a ritual bed and rides you like a test subject, muttering spell formulas while you’re trying not to blow too early. The whole game leans into that mad-mage-breeder vibe: she’s not romantic at first, she’s collecting data, watching every twitch when you’re hilted inside some desperate elf with hips made for twins.

And yeah, the elves here are not “soft fantasy waifs.” They’re stacked. Thick thighs that press your hips when they pull you in, asses that bounce way too much for someone supposedly sad about extinction, tits that spill out of those fancy robes every time a spell misfires. The ahegao faces are exaggerated in a fun way, not that weird plastic doll look. I laughed way too much when this super serious noble milf, who spends the whole intro calling you a “low-born breeding tool,” ends up gripping your shoulders with her eyes rolled back, drooling on your chest when you dump a creampie in her in front of a mirror enchanted to track “fertility resonance.” Like, lady, you’re not winning the dignity battle here.

What I liked is that it actually lets you steer the tone a bit. You can play the respectful “I’m just here to help your people” guy and get these slower, almost romantic scenes where a monster girl with horns and big curves pretends she’s only participating for “civic duty,” then ends up cuddling your still-hard dick with her thighs and shyly asking if “another round would improve the odds.” Or you can go full degenerate and push for rougher experiments where Meliara times how fast she can milk you with just her hands, then sends you straight into another elf before you even recover, your cum leaking down her fingers while she scribbles notes. There’s this fun moment where, if you make a certain choice, you’re balls deep in a priestess, she’s moaning some holy chant, and Meliara just pops in, claps, and announces, “Good, keep going, I need to test post-orgasmic spell stability.” Zero shame. For her. You, on the other hand, are naked, sweating, and trying to focus while a magic circle glows under your ass.

The humor actually lands pretty often. One early scene has an elf complaining that the curse makes sex feel “pointless,” then two minutes later she’s bent over a table, her huge ass jiggling every thrust, gasping, “For science… for science…” while you literally fill her to the brim. There’s a running joke where the city officials keep trying to treat you like a holy relic, but every time they do, something ridiculous happens, like a summoning spell going wrong and a jealous monster girl barging into your “ceremonial breeding” and dragging you away by the dick. I kinda wish the game let you roam the city more instead of jumping straight between “test subjects,” but at the same time, when a scene opens with an angry milf grabbing your collar and hissing, “I heard you got the queen’s blessing, prove it,” and five clicks later you’re watching her face melt into messy ahegao while your cum drips out of her, it’s hard to complain too long.

I had this stupid grin when Meliara finally cracks a little. There’s a route where, after enough successful creampies, she pretends she wants to “personally verify your consistency,” acts all clinical, then somewhere in the middle of you pounding her tight pussy, her ears twitch, her breaths get all ragged, and she forgets her own spell words. She tries to keep notes while you’re filling her, the pen shakes, ink splashes all over the page, and when you pump a second load into her, she just tears the paper, slams her hips down, and lets out this broken moan that doesn’t sound like a scientist at all. Then, of course, she sits up later and scolds you for “excessive enthusiasm” like she wasn’t the one begging you not to pull out.

It’s messy, horny, self-aware, and sometimes way sweeter than it pretends to be. Also, whoever decided the breeding altars needed that many candles clearly hates my GPU, but that’s another story I’m not getting into.

Simon wakes up in the far future, stuck on a ship in the middle of space, surrounded by nine alien girls with ridiculous curves and zero sense of shame. It feels a bit like someone mashed together a trashy harem anime and a cheap sci‑fi flick they found on a torrent site, then just leaned into every horny idea that popped up. The tone is stupid in the best way. One moment you’re listening to a serious speech about “saving the universe” and five minutes later you’re watching a slime‑skinned monster girl trying to figure out human underwear and accidentally flashing half the crew. The game knows exactly what it is. It keeps throwing teasing scenes at you where clothes never quite stay on, like that first time the insectoid girl tries on a tight jumpsuit and the camera just lovingly stays on her ass while she pretends she’s not noticing you staring. There is this constant feeling that everyone on this ship is a tiny bit too horny and nobody has the emotional maturity to admit it, which honestly feels realistic for a porn game pretending to be a space opera.

Choices matter just enough to make you sweat. Example: early on, there is this “morale boosting” event where you can choose which girl to escort through a transparent corridor with full view to the deep void outside. Sounds like some poetic sci‑fi thing, right? No, it’s basically a public stripwalk for aliens. You pick the shy tentacle‑haired engineer and she keeps pretending her suit malfunctioned, giving you glimpses of huge tits pressed against cold glass, nipples hard and obvious, while other crew members conveniently wander by and pretend not to stare. Keep pushing the flirt and the game lets you push her against the wall later in the engine room, legs spread, tentacles wrapped around your wrists while you fuck her raw from behind and watch her ahegao face reflected in a metal panel. Or you play nice and she stays in that permanently horny‑but‑denying state, which can be even hotter if you’re a teasing enjoyer. There is a lot of creampie focus too, which the script doesn’t even try to hide. Some scenes end with your cum dripping out of an alien pussy while the ship’s AI comments on “successful genetic transfer” like it’s just checking fuel levels. It can feel a bit repetitive at times, always circling back to the same big tits and tongue‑out faces, but the dumb jokes and constant parody of sci‑fi tropes keep it from getting boring. It’s like watching people roleplay Star Trek, if Star Trek was written by horny Reddit shitposters and nobody had heard of bras.

You pull up to this creepy old family estate with your aunt, thinking it’s just some boring photo job before the place gets sold off. Empty hallways, dusty furniture, that old house smell that feels like it sticks to your clothes. Not sexy at all at first. Then the highway gets blocked by a wreck, phone signal dies a sad little death, and suddenly you’re stuck there for the night with your “aunt” who looks more like someone’s porn search history than a real relative. Big tits barely contained, that kind of ass that makes you forget basic manners, and this weird tension where every “innocent” touch feels like it’s about one step away from turning into a hand on your thigh. The game just leans into that slow burn, like it knows exactly how wrong this whole setup is and doesn’t give a fuck.

It’s a kinetic thing, so you’re not here sweating decisions, you’re here to watch this guy slowly lose his moral compass while ghosts, shadows, and other shit that probably shouldn’t exist keep poking holes in his sense of reality. One minute you’re walking around rooms that feel too big and too quiet, getting this cold horror vibe, and the next your aunt is bending over the wrong way and your brain is like “yeah, I’d risk the family curse for that.” The paranormal stuff isn’t just for jumpscares either. There’s this monster girl scene where the line between “I should run” and “I should fuck this” basically vanishes, and the game just smiles at you while you try to pretend you’re not into it. Humor pops up at weird times too, like the protagonist reacting to something terrifying with horny sarcasm instead of fear, and it actually works. You’ll be going from being low-key freaked out by a shadow in the doorframe to watching a blowjob with a sex toy involved and thinking “okay, priorities, sure.”

Romance here is screwed up in the best way. It’s not tender, it’s not clean, it’s two lonely people in a haunted house using each other while pretending it’s about “comfort” and “closeness.” There’s a masturbation scene where the MC thinks nobody is watching, except of course something is, and the whole voyeuristic thing just slaps harder because of how exposed he looks. The exhibitionism hits in small doses: a half-open door, someone almost walking in, maybe a ghost lurking while she rides you, that kind of “someone could see” pressure that makes everything hotter. Oral, vaginal, toys, big curves shoved in your face, the works, and it all happens in this weird mix of horror and comedy where you’re aroused, then on edge, then laughing at a stupid line. It’s messy, morally fucked, and not even pretending to be wholesome. Honestly feels less like a polished porn fantasy and more like some horny fever dream you had after binging horror movies and scrolling Pornhub at the same time.

You roll into VAM City thinking it’s going to be normal college life, maybe cheap coffee and boring lectures, but the whole place feels like it was designed by a horny psychologist who hates your dignity. Classes are almost background noise here. The real “curriculum” happens in the hospital corridors, the park at night, that too-clean café where the waitresses smile a bit too long, and of course the campus itself where every professor and senior seems to know you’re easy to fluster. The game throws you in as this kind of clueless male protagonist who thinks it’s a simple dating sim, then suddenly you’re kneeling in a nurse’s office, trying to keep eye contact while she taps a clipboard against your cheek like you’re a misbehaving pet. There’s humor in how shameless it all is. One moment a girl with a ridiculous ass is leaning over a vending machine “by accident,” next moment you get caught staring and she offers you a deal: do a few humiliating “favors” and maybe she lets you get a closer look next time. Or not. She might just laugh with her friend about how red your face gets.

The whole thing is sandboxy enough that you kind of wander around VAM City, picking where to waste your time and dignity. You hang at the park pretending you’re out for fresh air, but the game knows you’re actually hoping that strict college girl shows up to walk her dog again so she can order you to pick up after it “since you like watching so much.” At the café you get stuck wiping tables while a busty barista leans down to “check your work,” her tits almost in your face while she insults your cleaning skills and your stamina in the same breath. There’s this breaking of your ego that is somehow playful and cruel at the same time. They joke, they humiliate, they make you pay coins you barely have just to buy them something stupid like a milkshake or a new collar for their cat, and you do it, because the promise of a short animation of her grinding on your lap or choking you with a forced blowjob is just barely enough to keep you chasing. Some scenes lean pretty hard into voyeur stuff too. You peek through a classroom door, thinking you’ll see something soft and romantic, but it’s actually a teacher punishing another guy, slapping his face, making him lick her heel while you watch and pray she doesn’t notice you. Later she does notice you, of course, in the hospital of all places, when you go for a “routine check,” and suddenly her exam feels more like an interrogation mixed with a dom session. There’s a weird charm in how unpolished the whole city feels, like everybody is improvising their fetishes on the spot. Sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes it’s hot as hell, sometimes you just end up standing in the wrong corridor thinking, “why am I being forced to wear a girl’s panties under my uniform just so I can join a study group?” but you still click yes and keep going, because VAM City doesn’t really ask for your pride, it just assumes it already owns it.

Vacation in this thing feels like someone put a porn game and a lazy Sunday detective show in a blender, forgot the lid, and just let it splatter everywhere. You’re this burned out cop finally getting time off, expecting beaches and cocktails, and what you get is a storm, a creaky old house, and a small collection of women who, basically, have zero respect for personal space. The game doesn’t rush the sex right away, which I liked way more than I expected. First you’re just walking around, stuck inside because of the rain, checking rooms, bumping into half-dressed milfs and girls who treat clothing like a suggestion. At first it’s just teasing. A towel slipping when she thinks nobody’s watching, a shower door not properly closed, a laptop on the bed playing porn while she’s “not touching herself” at all. Sure.

The sandbox part is actually pretty chill. You click around the house, watch how the day moves, and slowly figure out everyone’s little secret. There’s this one scene where you accidentally walk past an open door and catch her on the couch, legs wide, vibrator buzzing like crazy, and she still acts offended that you didn’t knock. I laughed out loud. Then I reloaded to watch it again, because, yeah. Voyeur stuff is everywhere. You can stand there like a creep, peeking at them masturbating, or you can act polite and then end up with her on her knees anyway, pretending she’s “just helping you relax” with her mouth. The animations are surprisingly expressive in those moments, you see the body move, tits bouncing while she rides you, or her ass grinding down on your lap until your cum fills her and she looks pleased with herself, like she solved a puzzle. I had one run where I tried to avoid creampies and it lasted like 10 minutes before the game threw a “whoops, slipped inside” kind of scene at me and I just gave up.

What really caught me is the pacing, though. It’s not just click boob, get reward. Sometimes you do a little favor, chat during breakfast, hear some half-serious backstory, then later that same woman is pushing your head between her legs on the balcony, clearly enjoying the risk of someone down the street maybe seeing something. The humor is low-key stupid, in a good way. There’s a part where you’re supposed to “investigate” something, because yeah, detective instincts, but it turns into you stuck in a closet watching two of them make out on the bed and eventually go from kissing to full-on pussy eating while you try not to breathe too loud. It’s kinda hot and kinda funny, because you’re supposed to be a professional and instead you’re hiding like a horny teenager. I wish the UI didn’t make me misclick so often on the damn stairs but whatever, I still kept going back to certain events, like the shower blowjob where water runs over her big tits while she looks up at you, or the quiet night where she sneaks into your room, pulls your pants down silently and strokes you under the blanket, whispering that the others might hear you if you moan too loud. I opened this in Chrome on my phone once, saying I’ll just check one scene, and suddenly I’m sitting there, screen brightness low, following some stupid little side route just because I wanted to see if she’d use that toy on herself or on me. She used it on herself, by the way, and made such a mess on the sheets that I actually laughed, thinking whoever owns that house is never getting that deposit back.