It’s strange how this DBZ parody feels both trashy and affectionate, kind of like when you find an old guilty‑pleasure track in your Spotify history and realize you still know every beat. The game throws Goten right into a web of temptation that probably shouldn't exist, but here it does, shimmering with that thin layer of nostalgia everyone secretly loves to roll around in. The art flirts between rough sketches and slick shading - like it can’t decide whether to be edgy or sentimental - and somehow that fits. Android 18 looks too good for words, moves even better, and then 21 shows up and basically warps every mood you had in the last minute. It’s fan service but with a heartbeat, or maybe with several, depending on whose scene you trigger.

I found myself weirdly caught by how the dialogue sounds half improvised, sometimes awkwardly human; sometimes like a dirty daydream that just spilled onto the screen. Bulma’s little gestures - like how her eyes flick away for a second before she says something you’re not ready for - hit more real than they should. The interactive bits don’t even bother hiding what they’re about, and it’s that transparency that makes them honestly hot. One time, the scene drifted into something so slow, so drawn out, I forgot to click until the moaning blended into background music from another tab. It fits though - this clumsy pacing, this idea that seduction in a parody title could have its own lazy rhythm. I could complain about the transitions lagging, but then again, that stutter kind of matched Goten’s fumbling, and now I can’t tell if it’s a glitch or a choice.

For anyone trying to rush it, you’ll ruin the best part: letting the conversations drag, catching the facial changes, not skipping with spacebar. Take it like a good track - feel every drop, every wrong beat, until you stop pretending it’s about nostalgia and admit it’s pure hunger worked into code. Don’t skip, just... let it breathe.

You wake up in this crappy motel room that smells like old smoke and cheap cleaner, with faded Jesus on the wall judging the hell out of you, and somehow you’re the “man of the house” now. Except the house is two rooms stacked with religious girls pretending they’re still living in some holy commune instead of next to a vending machine that eats coins. You’ve got Mother Superior with her tight lips and way too calm voice, the younger sisters trying to act all innocent in those modest clothes that really do not hide the tits they’re packing, and an empty bed that never really stays empty because there’s just not enough space and everyone’s broke. You’re supposed to help them “start from the bottom” again, but let’s be honest, after five minutes you’re thinking about a completely different kind of bottom. You talk to them, run their little errands, peek when the bathroom door doesn’t close right, and that’s when you realize this game really wants you to be a creep. Which is good. Religious guilt and horny tension is pretty much the main ingredient here.

The fun starts small. You get those moments where you pretend to be a gentleman but then “accidentally” walk in on a sister changing, and she bends over to grab her panties and you just see this huge ass stretching that thin fabric. There’s a scene early on where you share a bed with one of them “just for tonight, it’s safer that way” and you lie there, pretending to sleep, watching her chest rise and fall under the blanket. Her tits are massive, no joke, the kind that would cause back problems in real life, and at some point your MC just gives up, gets hard, and you get that great slow corruption vibe. She feels your cock pressed between her cheeks, pretends not to notice at first, then there’s that tiny grind of her hips. Nobody says anything, but suddenly you’re getting a soft, hesitant handjob under the blanket while the cross on the wall is right above you. Perfect mix of awkward and filthy. Later, when she gets more used to you, she doesn’t even hide it. She’ll straddle your lap “to wake you up”, those big boobs spilling out, slide your cock between them and give you a sloppy titjob while trying not to moan too loud because Mother’s in the next room. And when she looks up with that half scared, half turned-on face, drool on her lips, you just know she’s done being a virgin in her head, even if she still lies to herself about it.

What really sells it though are the little scenes that go too far and don’t even apologize. There’s one time you catch Mother Superior praying alone, all serious, eyes closed, talking about “guidance” and “purity”, and you just stand behind her a bit too long, staring at her ass under that robe. The game lets you hover there, gives you the option to leave like a good boy, or stay and push it. If you stay, you brush against her “by accident”, hands lingering on her waist, and she stiffens, keeps praying, but doesn’t move away. You whisper something filthier than you should, and she just breathes heavier. A few scenes later she’s on her knees in front of you, that same prayer position, only now your cock is in her mouth, her lips wrapped tight, tears in her eyes from taking it deep. She looks up while sucking, humiliated and aroused, her hands stroking your shaft, a bit of spit running down her chin. The game actually lets you grab her head and fuck her throat hard, and she chokes, drools, and somehow you still see that “holy” vibe in her face. Then you’ve got the younger sister experimenting with toys she bought cheap online, thinking nobody’s watching. You peek from the bathroom crack while she slides a shiny vibrator between those thick thighs, panties pushed aside, mumbling your name without admitting it. Later she begs you to “just help her a little”, which ends with her on all fours on the motel bed, your big cock buried in her ass while she clutches the stained sheets, moaning into a pillow so Father in jail won’t hear her from heaven or whatever. There’s group stuff too, when they finally give up the act, all of them around you, hands and mouths and tits everywhere, one riding you raw, another using her feet on your shaft while the third licks your balls like a good little fucktoy. It’s not classy, it’s not subtle, it’s messy corruption of a whole little “holy” harem in a trashy motel, and that’s exactly the point.

Burned out barista flies to Rio thinking he’s going to “find himself” or some bullshit like that, and the game immediately throws him into the kind of vacation people only talk about when their main browser is on Pornhub and their incognito tab is full of brown skin, sandy beaches and sloppy oral. You’re this dude who spent way too long serving cappuccinos and listening to people complain about soy milk, and now you’re landing in Brazil with a cheap suitcase, a fried brain and exactly zero idea what you’re doing. Which is perfect, because the game pretty much weaponizes that clueless energy. One moment you’re half jetlagged, trying to figure out how to pay for a cab without looking like a complete idiot, next moment you’re standing in front of a beach bar, staring at a brazilian latina with legs for days, feet in sandals, laughing at you while she knows exactly how stupid you look. And yeah, she catches you staring at her toes. The game does this a lot: it lets you get horny in a really messy, human way, not like some clinical porn script. When she notices your eyes slide down, you actually get a choice. Look away and pretend you were checking the sand. Or keep looking and admit it. If you go for the second one, her smile changes a little, and you suddenly understand this trip is not about “rest”. It’s about how far you’ll actually go once no one from your boring cafe life is watching.

Stuff escalates slowly and then all at once. There’s the first beach party where everyone’s drunk on cheap caipirinha and outdated reggaeton hits, and you’re squeezed between sweaty bodies, lights, and this girl pressing her ass against you while her boyfriend is literally five meters away buying drinks. Or not her boyfriend. The game never makes it clean. It plays with that netorare edge in a way that feels more like a bad decision on a hot night than some hardcore fetish show. You get scenes where you’re sitting at a plastic table, sand under your feet, she slips off her flip flop and her toes slide over your crotch while she pretends to talk about “culture” and “Brazilian spirit”, and her guy is right there laughing at something on his phone. In one branch he catches on, in another he just stays blissfully dumb. Sometimes you feel like a piece of shit, sometimes you don’t care at all, and the script doesn’t try to clean it up for you. When she drags you to the water later and pushes you against the rocks to suck you off while the tide hits your legs, you remember that you were supposed to “reflect on your life choices” this year. Instead you’re getting wet sand on your ass and her mouth around your dick while she strokes you with the same foot that teased you earlier at the bar, making half-muffled jokes in portuguese you barely get. It’s romantic for two seconds, then filthy, then kind of romantic again. Like a party that smells like sunscreen, sweat and cheap perfume, and you only realize you lost your wallet when you’re already back in the hostel bed, still tasting her on your lips.

The game pretends to be about choices, and in a way it is, but it’s not that tidy “good route / bad route” stuff you see everywhere. You can chase a more tender vacation romance with one girl, share quiet moments with her on the beach at sunset, listen to her talk about trying to get out of the favela, kiss her slowly, feel her tongue slide into your mouth while she climbs on your lap, her bikini bottoms pushed aside so she can ride you carefully while waves crash in the background. Or you can screw that up completely by answering one question wrong and ending in some cramped back room of a noisy bar, where another woman drops to her knees so fast it feels almost transactional, letting you fuck her throat while her mascara smudges and her feet rub together along your shaft in a messy footjob that’s more desperation than affection. Sometimes it feels like you’re the tourist ruining people’s lives, other times you’re just a guy getting dragged along in someone else’s chaos. There is interracial stuff, yeah, and the game doesn’t treat it like porn category labels, just like reality: different tones of skin tangled together on sweaty sheets, breath in your ear, nails on your back, a leg over your shoulder while you go down on her until she pulls your hair because you’re too rough. It’s not “polished” at all. Some scenes feel rushed, some jumps between daytime coffee in a small cafe and night-time blowjob in a dark alley are jarring, and sometimes the tone flips so fast you wonder if two writers fought over the script in a Google Doc. But that messy vibe is exactly like a real bad decision vacation. You tell yourself you came here to rest. Then you wake up with sand in your shoes, bite marks on your chest, a girl’s phone number written on your arm in marker, and you’re already checking if she’s online while another woman sends you a message asking if you’re coming to the next party. The game never asks if you deserve any of it. It just lets you sink deeper.

Dreams of Desire is like one of those trashy hentai OVA you told yourself you’d watch just for the “plot”, then suddenly it’s three routes later and you know everyone’s bad habits, favorite underwear color, and exactly how far they’ll go if you whisper the right words into their ear. The setup is simple enough: guy doesn’t want to get shipped off to some dead boring military academy, stumbles over a creepy old book that basically says “hey, you can hack people’s brains if you’re horny and irresponsible enough,” and then everything around him turns into a playground of lust, lies, and a bit of morality yeeting itself out the window. What I like is how it goes from kinda normal slice of life to “ok, this household is one wrong decision away from a full-on corruption spiral” without making a big dramatic show. One minute you’re talking about chores and dinner, next minute you’re peeking through doors, catching somebody fingering themselves, and the game asks you if you just walk away or stand there like a degenerate and enjoy the view.

The corruption stuff is the real meat here. It’s not like, instant brainwash with glowing eyes and everyone turns into sex drones. It’s slower, messy, and sometimes awkward in that way only this genre really knows how to do. You try pushing someone a little too hard and they snap at you, or you say the “wrong” suggestion and instead of sexy obedience you get guilt, weird tension, and you sitting there thinking “ok, I kinda deserve that.” Then two scenes later that same character is giving you this shy little striptease, pretending they’re in control while clearly melting inside. Some of the best moments are small things, like when the “good girl” character starts swearing when she gets fucked rough for the first time, or when the dominant one suddenly blushes when you flip the power dynamic and tease her feet until she begs. The game really loves watching you turn hesitation into addiction: first a stolen glance in the shower, then mutual masturbation, then blowjob in a place that’s absolutely not safe, and then suddenly you’re sharing a bed with three women who should absolutely not all be okay with it, yet nobody is saying no anymore. And the worst part is how natural it feels inside this world, like the book didn’t just unlock manipulation, it pulled the mask off everyone’s hidden kinks and said “go on, you already wanted this.”

Keiichi feels like that dude who sits alone in the corner of a beach bar, pretending he’s “just enjoying the view” while his entire life is quietly catching fire. The game throws you right into his vacation, into this fake-relaxing tropical vibe where the air smells like sunscreen and cheap cocktails, and suddenly every girl you meet has a body that makes you forget what you were going to say. It looks like some light romantic thing at first, all smiles at the hotel café, sand stuck between toes, sun on brown skin, but it doesn’t stay soft. One moment you’re sharing iced coffee with a curvy Brazilian waitress, watching her ass sway when she leans over to clean a table, and the next she’s teasing you under the counter with her foot, pressing her soft sole against your crotch while she keeps talking like nothing’s happening. She laughs when you spill your drink, by the way. Total bully energy, and I kind of hated it and loved it.

The whole story is written like this messy diary he’s keeping on his phone, like when you open Google Docs at night and write stuff you’d never send to anyone. Some scenes are sweet in a painful way. You’re on the beach at sunset with this latina girl who pretends she just wants to talk about “future plans” and family drama, but the camera just sits way too long on her tits pushed up in that bikini, on tan thighs crossed in the sand. She puts her feet in your lap, wriggling her toes like it’s nothing, and casually asks if you’ve ever had your dick sucked on an empty shore. Cue choice screen: be a gentleman, or let her slowly slide down, her lips wrapping around you while waves crash in the background. You can pick if he’s loyal or just a horny idiot, but no matter what you choose, you still feel like a creep checking all the routes. There’s a party scene too, loud music, glow sticks, everyone half-drunk, her lipstick smeared as she pushes you into a dark corner near the pool and takes you in her mouth, choking and giggling, then asking if you’d still call her in the morning. You probably won’t.

The game keeps throwing women at you like you’re the last man on earth. Big tits bouncing in tight tops at the hotel café, big asses in tiny shorts walking ahead of you on the boardwalk, different skin tones, different attitudes. One is shy and romantic, blushing when your hand brushes her ankle, then later she’s the one giving you a slow, almost worshipful footjob on the bed, her painted toes gripping your shaft while she whispers that she wants to belong to you. Another girl flirts with your friends, flirts with everyone actually, and if you follow the wrong choices she heads off with some other guy, and the game just lets you sit in that sick netorare feeling, reading Keiichi’s jealous diary entry where he pretends it doesn’t bother him. Sometimes the choices feel fake, like they clearly want you to go for the full harem route, with all of them orbiting around your dick on this “vacation that changes everything”, but then there are these tiny moments where someone refuses you, or talks about old wounds, and suddenly your porn game turns into late-night emotional torture. Still, every time I told myself I’d stick to one wholesome romance, I ended up at another beach party, staring at bouncing tits in a wet bikini top, toes sliding along my shaft under the table, and clicking the most trash option available without even pretending to be a good guy.

Hero story on the surface, total filth underneath. That’s the whole vibe here. You’re not the shining savior, you’re the snake in the sleeping bag. The world is doing that classic “demon horde rising again” thing, the Hero’s party is all proud and hopeful, and you’re there smiling like a good little ally while secretly sent by the Demon King to fuck everything up from inside. And “fuck” is not just metaphor here. You’re working your way through trust, lust and corruption at the same time, pushing everyone in the party over the edge in different ways. One girl starts all pure and doe-eyed, blushing when you brush her hand, then five scenes later she’s moaning with tongue out and eyes rolled back while you rail her from behind, fat creampie dripping while she’s supposed to be “on watch” for monsters. Another guy in the group is a cocky swordsman, all talk about honor, and you slowly grind him down with teasing, humiliation and those “friendly” training sessions that turn into blowjob practice, then sissification, then him begging to wear panties under his armor. The game really loves that slow slide from normal to “how the hell did we get here” and it doesn’t apologize at all.

What sells it is how it mixes the fantasy quest with filthy little betrayals. You’re doing typical RPG stuff, traveling, camp scenes, tavern stays, but every stop is a new chance to twist someone a bit more. Helping the healer “meditate”? Actually guiding her through “special breathing” while your hand is between her legs and she’s leaking on your fingers. Sparring with the Hero? You tire him out on purpose, then leave him to sleep while you sneak off and fuck his crush hard enough she starts lactating in a later scene, and you make sure he walks in just in time to see the internal view shot of your cum overflowing from her stretched pussy. There is a lot of voyeur stuff like that, you arranging things so people catch each other in the worst possible moment, then using the shame to push them even deeper: blackmailing the proud mage with that time she let you titfuck her in the bath, turning it into regular “magic lessons” with her on her knees, or forcing the tanky milf knight to let you spank and grope her under her armor right in the town square because she “owes” you for saving her from a monster girl that you actually lured her into. And yeah, the monster girls get in on it too, sometimes joining the group sex, sometimes being your tools, sometimes corrupting you right back with a surprise anal scene where you pretend you’re in control but she clearly isn’t fooled.

The sex is all over the place in a good way and a messy way. You get sweet romance moments where you almost feel bad, like when the Hero’s childhood friend whispers she wants to carry your baby because she thinks it’ll make you closer to the Hero, and then the game just slams into hardcore group scene with her pinned, double stuffed, drooling ahegao face while you use her like a toy. One evening you’re giving “foot massage” to the party’s stern elf archer that ends with her sliding her toes around your shaft, totally red but still trying to act calm, and the next morning she’s the one offering to help you “relax” with a handjob behind some ruins, pretending it’s just physical relief so she doesn’t have to admit she’s addicted. There is lesbian stuff between party members you twisted emotionally, traps that start as jokes from the Demon King side and turn into full on submissive little pets in your harem, interracial scenes with captured enemies you flip over to your side using nothing but your cock and a bit of humiliation. You get classic blowjob, anal, multiple penetration, toys jammed in during battle prep, the Hero getting cucked in ten different ways without even realizing half of it, and a lot of those evil little moments where you watch from the shadows while they masturbate thinking about you, then you step out and ruin them more. It’s not soft, it’s not “healthy”, it’s dirty spying, gaslighting, teasing and training wrapped around an adventure that pretends to be heroic while you quietly turn the whole party into your personal, leaking, obedient mess.

Janna here starts as that squeaky clean wind priestess you kinda remember from League, all shiny, polite, acting like she’s allergic to bad words. Game laughs at that fast. You’re basically the invisible perv voice in her head, poking her into “adventure” choices that look innocent on the surface and then slide into total corruption. One moment it’s “help this villager, Janna, you’re a good girl”, ten minutes later you’re watching her give a nervous footjob because you told her it was some weird healing ritual. It’s not subtle. It’s also kinda funny in a trashy way, like those old Flash games where the dialogue tries to be serious and then a stupid pun about toes comes in and ruins the whole scene.

The fun part for me is actually poking the route to see how far you can push her before she stops pretending she’s shy. There are options that feel safe, like “pray for guidance”, and if you pick that every time she stays more or less vanilla, touching herself at night, getting flustered by other girls, all that soft stuff. You stop doing that and choose the dumb horny answers, suddenly she’s sneaking off to “meditate” and you’re watching her fingers get way too busy. There’s a slow-burn lesbian angle that turns into full-on obsession if you keep picking the flirty responses with the right NPC. First it’s accidental skin contact, then the classic “we’re just helping each other relax”, then she’s on her knees with her tongue between a girl’s thighs like it’s the only religion that ever mattered. I actually missed one tiny dialogue branch and had to replay just to unlock a specific scene where Janna gets her face sat on. Felt like speedrunning shame.

If you like feet, the game is weirdly committed. Her feet are practically their own characters. People keep commenting on them, worshipping them, begging to lick them. You can have Janna pretend she’s just “testing her charm” while she rubs some poor idiot’s cock under the table with her soft, clean toes, and the text really leans into every little detail. Toes curling, soles pressing, cum shooting all over her ankles while she acts shocked, then curious, then hungry for more. Later on, once she’s more corrupted, she actually uses her feet as bait. Stuff like “oops, I dropped something, can you help?” and then your camera, your focus, the whole scene just lives on her legs and ass while she touches herself. Anal content creeps in as part of the corruption path too, not forced, more like “well, I already did everything else, what’s one more hole?” and suddenly she’s pushing a slick finger in her own ass while moaning into another girl’s mouth. It’s filthy and also kind of hilarious, because the game still pretends this started as a noble quest. Story in general is light, a bit all over the place, but I didn’t really care, I was hunting down every single lewd variation like an idiot, going “okay, if I pick this dumb joke answer, do I get the masturbation-in-the-bath scene or does that skip straight to foot worship again?” It feels like a horny puzzle where the prize is watching this once-innocent wind goddess turn into a total lesbian corruption slut who uses her feet, tongue and ass like they’re magic spells.

Imagine waking up in a house where every hallway is basically a walking erection test. Three women, all living with you, all built like some artist on Pixiv got drunk and decided gravity is optional. Big tits bouncing when they move from the kitchen to the couch, tight shirts that are trying their best but absolutely losing the fight, and you, the "normal" college guy who is supposed to care about classes while those are just there every morning. Shower running, panties on the bathroom door, someone bending over the fridge for way too long. At first it feels like a typical horny roommate fantasy, but then the day hits a loop and suddenly you are stuck in the same morning wood, over and over, like Groundhog Day with more nipples and less philosophy. Or actually, weirdly, more philosophy, because when you are forced to repeat the same day with the same people, every choice in this game feels less like "which scene do I unlock" and more like "what kind of pervert am I becoming on the 37th try."

The nice thing is how the game lets you slide between being a semi-decent romantic idiot and a full-on touch-her-ass-while-she-is-not-looking bastard. You go to college, pretend to pay attention in class, flirt with students who are technically "teens" in the sense of age but written like hentai archetypes with huge boobs that make school uniforms look like weak cosplay. You can hit the dating routes, send those dumb text messages that sound like something you typed too fast on WhatsApp, and if you play it right, it flips into surprisingly soft moments. Like kissing after a bad exam, or holding hands on the couch while some show drones in the background and her toes are casually running along your leg, and then she just pushes her foot right into your lap and grins. Foot fetish stuff is not just thrown in as one extra scene. It creeps into the routine. Sitting at the table, you feel her heel against your crotch while everyone else talks about midterms. That first time her soles slide over your dick under the blanket, and there is voice acting with that breathy "is this okay?" that obviously means "keep going" and you are there, not thinking about Kant at all.

It calls itself a sandbox and it kind of is, but more like a messy bedroom sandbox where you keep finding new porn mags under the bed. You go from room to room, unlock scenes by doing chores, studying, or just being a little creep at the right time. One morning you help with laundry and end up pressing against her from behind as you "guide" her hands, your fingers brushing her big breasts while pretending to explain something. Another loop, you just stay in the living room, grind some affection points, and suddenly there is a group movie night that turns into accidental groping under a shared blanket, her boobs pressed on your arm, everyone pretending not to notice how close things are getting. The humor hits in weird places, like when a serious confession turns into a joke about how often you stare at her chest, and then two seconds later she just kneels between your legs and takes you in her mouth like this was always the logical next step. Not everything is perfect, some events repeat a bit too much before the hot version unlocks, and there was one time I kept triggering the same "go study" scene and started hating that desk chair on a personal level, but when a milf character leans against the kitchen counter, looks you dead in the eyes, and slowly lifts her top so those huge tits spill free, any annoyance kind of dissolves. The whole loop thing makes every blowjob, every risky exhibitionism scene on campus, every awkward romantic confession feel like a small rebellion against time itself, like yeah, the day resets, but that moment where she wraps her toes around your cock and whispers your name? That feels permanent.

Guy wakes up in the far future with half his life blown up, quite literally, and still somehow the biggest problem is his dick and his missing partner. Whole galaxy is floating around, planets abandoned, Earth is just some rumor people use in shitty bar stories, but you’re stuck in this shitty apartment ruin with smoke in your lungs and a very clear thought in your head: someone tried to kill you, and probably wanted to fuck up your weekend too. The first ten minutes feel like some drunk cop show in space: alarms, people yelling, some asshole pointing a gun at your face, and then bam, cut to you trying to calm down in a corridor that looks like a mix between a hospital and a sex club. The game hits hard with the mystery vibe at the start, then just goes, “ok, now let’s put your cock in this mess too.” And it works weirdly well. You follow this guy around space stations, shady districts, half-legal clubs where everyone looks like they’ve fucked or stabbed someone recently, sometimes both. One moment you’re doing actual investigation, checking who ordered your assassination, next moment you get a fully voiced scene where some alien-looking chick is groping you while you’re pretending to care about information.

Sex scenes come in like rewards and distractions. A girl you barely trust is on her knees, lips glossed with spit, and you can hear every squelch because the voice stuff is surprisingly on point. There is this one foot scene that way too long, in a good way. She presses her heel against your shaft, toes curling around the tip, slow at first while she teases you and talks shit, and the animation just keeps going. You think it will cut away, but it doesn’t, it goes from lazy teasing to full, sloppy jerking with her soles and you feel like a degenerate for watching the whole thing. And then later you get a handjob that is way shorter and you’re like, why the hell did the dev spend so much time on the toes and not on the grip. Actually I liked that handjob best, so I don’t even know what I’m complaining about. There are also some rougher bits, like when a scene goes from kissing to choking and the camera doesn’t flinch at all, you really see spit, tears, even little red marks where fingers press. Not extreme torture stuff, but definitely not “soft, slow love” bullshit. And suddenly, while your dick is still half hard, the game throws you back into plot: bodies in corridors, blood splattered on white metal, people whispering about what really happened to Earth like it’s some porn version of a conspiracy channel. You chase leads, flirt with suspects, sometimes end up with two girls at once who somehow both think it’s a great idea to share your lap and take turns riding you like it’s a stupid contest, all while they casually joke about murder and stolen data. The funny part is I kind of forgot the original goal in the middle. Was it finding your partner? Solving some giant cosmic secret? Or just trying not to cum too fast while some smug space criminal sits on your face and laughs in your ear. Honestly, the humor hits more than it misses, characters talk like horny assholes instead of poets, and even when the pacing is kinda all over the place, it still feels like this messy, horny adventure where you’re always one scene away from getting shot or getting your dick sucked. I still hate that one sound effect in a certain oral scene that repeats like a fucking metronome, but it’s not going to change and I’m strangely fine with that.