Starship discipline is completely fucked here, in the funniest, dirtiest way possible. You get handed the captain’s chair on the Cerritos, but it feels more like they dumped you in a floating frat house filled with horny degenerates in Starfleet colors. Everyone is used to Admiral Freeman looking the other way, so when you start trying to clean things up, the crew basically tells you to suck it. Half the time you’re walking down a corridor and some ensign has their uniform half open, covered in cum, trying to hide a hard-on or wiping drool off their lips after “checking the sonic shower.” The ship looks like Star Trek, but the mood is more like a super trashy porn parody where nobody remembered the part about “professional behavior.” And you are absolutely encouraged to abuse that.

The center of the chaos is Beckett Mariner, of course. She knows you can’t just throw the admiral’s daughter out an airlock, so she tests every limit she can. One moment she’s lounging in your chair with her boots on the console, tits almost spilling out of her uniform jacket, fake-innocent face and those stupid ahegao eyes when you finally snap and drag her into the ready room. The game really likes that shift from “smartass brat” to “corrupted little cumtoy,” especially when you start using blackmail. You catch her in compromising spots, collect dirty data, and then slowly push things from “get on your knees and swallow” to “bend over the tactical console, I want to see just how tight that ass is.” She resists in that playful way at first, talks back, but the art leans heavy into humiliation: tears in the corners of her eyes, tongue out, mascara a mess, expression halfway between hating you and begging you to creampie her again. The AI-style CG is weirdly perfect for this kind of parody, everything slightly exaggerated, breasts too big for regulation uniforms, cumshots overdramatic, but it fits the whole “cheap bootleg holodeck program” vibe. And it is animated, so you really sit there watching her get filled, milk leaking, mouth drooling, your choices affecting if she ends up more broken-in, covered in bukkake like a used toy, or still pretending she’s in control while she rides you and moans your rank.

What caught me off guard is how the game doesn’t just stop at “straight captain dominates bratty officer.” Lower deck kids and random crew open up way dirtier routes. You walk into the cargo bay and spot two male ensigns “wrestling,” cocks out, one already dripping. That can spiral into you forcing them to service you as punishment, lining them up and choosing who takes you in the ass, who licks your balls clean, who drinks the load. There is gay stuff that doesn’t feel like an afterthought, more like the ship is just completely horny and nobody cares about orientation anymore. Then there is the whole trap and futa angle, uniforms hiding surprise dicks, big tits paired with a throbbing cock that strains the Starfleet fabric. One minute you think you’re punishing a cute, shy communications officer, next moment she drops her pants and you’re staring at a hard shaft and a wet slit both, and the game just goes “yeah, use all of it.” You can force them to suck you, fuck them until their own cum sprays on the control panel, or take it yourself if you lean into being a greedy captain who wants every hole filled. There are scenes where you make an officer pump milk out of her huge tits right onto the floor while everyone watches, or you order a line of crew to kneel and finish them off one by one, covering faces and mouths until they look like someone set a bukkake filter over a still from Lower Decks. Then there are cheating bits, too: married officers getting reamed in your quarters, whispering that their partner doesn’t touch them like this, while you record everything for later blackmail. It’s unapologetically trashy, sometimes mean, and occasionally so over the top you just start laughing, but it keeps that Star Trek parody flavor through all the corruption, like a filthy holodeck program somebody forgot to lock with a command code.

Leon is the kind of guy who pretends shit’s normal while his whole life is quietly horny and fucked up in the background. He’s living with his godmother’s family, acting like it’s all wholesome, but every time she bends over in those tight pants or sits too close on the couch, the game makes sure you feel that knife-twisting mix of guilt and “yeah, I’d still do it.” It’s not loud about it. You’re just clicking through another morning scene, fake-slice-of-life vibe, and suddenly your hand “accidentally” brushes her ass in the hallway. There’s a freeze-frame moment, a tiny little twitch in her face, and then everyone pretends nothing happened. That’s the tone here: quiet, slow-burn corruption, like you’re boiling in your own dirty thoughts and nobody opens the window. The game doesn’t rush to throw panties at your face. You get teasing looks at breakfast, her shirt just a bit too open, thighs a bit too visible when she sits at the table, and Leon’s internal monologue is this mix of denial and hunger that feels way too familiar if you’ve ever stared at an older woman and thought “I really shouldn’t be thinking this” while still staring anyway. It’s not subtle, but it also kind of is, which is what makes it hit harder than the usual “everyone’s naked in five minutes” trash.

Then it goes and adds a boxing angle like it’s a sports anime that got drunk and fell into Pornhub. One moment you’re watching his godmother’s tits subtly bounce under a tank top while she nags him about his future, next moment dude’s in a ring, getting his face rocked while some stacked milf and a feisty younger girl both watch from the sidelines like they’re already arguing over who gets to ride him first. The training scenes are stupidly good for tension: sweat, bruises, close contact, then you go home and the real fight starts, but it’s in the kitchen, with a “harmless” hug from behind that lasts a bit too long, or her pressing her chest into his arm when she pours him coffee. There’s groping that isn’t called groping, hand “placement” that’s too low to be innocent, and a blowjob scene that feels like the dev paused Pornhub mid-clip and tried to paint over it with “emotions.” You get romance, sure, but it’s the fucked kind, the cheating-adjacent, “I want you but I’m not supposed to” flavor, especially when other women start orbiting him and you realize he’s basically building a harem out of bad decisions. The drama pops up hard in these little arguments where someone gets jealous over something tiny, like a glance or a throwaway line, then ten minutes later you’re in an animated scene with wet sounds in your headphones, stroking to a woman who might call you “family” with her mouth and something else with her body. It uses AI art in a way that sometimes looks weird if you stare too long at fingers, but when her lips wrap around him and her eyes look up with that broken mix of lust and regret, you kinda stop caring. This thing feels like watching a slow car crash made of tits, sweat and bad moral choices, and yeah, I kept clicking.

The heat sits on that tiny apartment like a wet towel you can’t shake off. It sticks to skin, to clothes, to Rei’s thin tank top when she bends over the sink, pretending she doesn’t feel your eyes on her ass. She’s supposed to be “aunt,” or “family friend,” or whatever label makes it less fucked up that every time she passes in the hallway your cock twitches. She moves slow, tired housewife kind of slow, but every curve on her body screams she knows exactly what she’s doing. Soft big tits that fight against cheap fabric, hips that fill the doorway, that slightly sad smile of a woman who’s been lonely way too long and pretends she’s okay with it. Except she isn’t. Not really.

Then the old man shows up. Claims to be your grandfather. Smells like cigarettes and sweat and something rotten. Sets his suitcase down like he just decided this is his house now. You want to laugh, but Rei’s face drains of color and Sora’s eyes narrow like a cat that spots a mouse. She’s the daughter, sharp tongue and short shorts, always with a game console in hand, pretending she doesn’t notice how her mom starts flinching whenever the old bastard “accidentally” brushes against her. You watch from the crack in your door as he starts touching Rei longer than needed, his wrinkled fingers on her waist, on her ass, talking about “helping with stress.” At first she stiffens, then she forces a smile, then she starts making excuses to be alone with him. For “adult talk.” You know that tone. Corruption doesn’t happen in one big step; it happens cup of tea by cup of tea, “thank you” by “it’s fine, just this once.”

The fucked up part is how the game lets you poke at this situation, not like a hero, but like a horny parasite. You’re not stopping anything. You’re deciding how much you want to see. You can sneak to the bathroom door and hear Rei choking on something that is not a cough. The wet noise of forced oral turning into desperate, hungry sucking, where her gagging shifts into little muffled moans she would never admit are real. Or you stay “loyal” and still end up spying through keyholes while she rides that old bastard, her big ass bouncing on his lap, tears in her eyes but her pussy creaming around him like it belongs there. Sometimes she resists and then folds, sometimes she looks like she’s almost enjoying the rough grip on her hair, the way he talks to her like property. Sometimes you even get pulled in, not as savior but as another man claiming a piece of her, sliding into her raw and leaving your cum deep inside, while her womb already full of someone else’s seed. Interracial mix of bodies and age and power, all wrapped in that cramped apartment where walls are thin and secrets thinner.

Sora’s the little devil in the corner, seeing everything, pretending she doesn’t care. She catches you peeking once, smirks, and the next time she “borrows” the old man’s wallet she demands he plays along. Trading games is not about consoles anymore. She comes back to your room with flushed cheeks and messed hair, chewing on gum that wasn’t hers before, and throws a wrapped bill on your bed like a joke. She teases you, spreads her legs just a bit too far when she sits on your chair, talks about how “grandpa” is disgusting while her eyes sparkle with something way darker. If you push, she might open those legs more, might ask what you’d pay for a peek, or for a taste, or for the chance to paint her face white while her mom moans in the next room on someone else’s cock. This whole summer turns into a slow, sweaty spiral where ownership is just a word men use when they shove their dick somewhere and leave it dripping. Who gets Rei in the end, who marks her womb, who Sora decides to toy with, who really controls the house… that all comes down to the tiny choices you click while your hand is already around your shaft, trying to decide if you want to feel guilty or just enjoy watching everything good rot from inside.

This one starts like some epic fairy tale your grandma would censor with a black marker, then just falls face first into filth in the nicest way. You’re this classic heroic dude with a sword, a job from the king, plague on the land, cursed forest, all that fantasy poster stuff. And on your arm, there’s Vallabelle, your elf wife, all holy robes and huge tits and that kind of ass that makes armor look illegal. She is written like this sweet, loyal priestess who’d probably heal your paper cut and apologize to the cut. And that’s exactly why the whole corruption thing hits harder. The game doesn’t rush into the porn right away. It does that slow boil where you’re walking through traps, monsters, ruins, and you can feel the forest looking at her more than at you. Long shots on her thigh when she climbs, her robes riding up, camera hanging just a bit too low when she bends to heal somebody. At first it feels like normal fanservice and you’re like “ok sure, jiggle physics.” Then you notice where the camera always is when she casts spells. Below. Always below.

Since it’s a straight kinetic story, there’s no pretending you’re in control. No choices, no branches, no magic button to “save Vallabelle.” You just click, watch, and slowly realize this quest is way more about her body than the stupid cure. You get these small scenes where she clings to you after a fight, shaking with fear, and your guy is trying to stay noble while the game already set her up as the perfect target. Big tits squeezed into that priest dress, hips that don’t know the meaning of modesty, shy smile that says “no” while the plot has already decided “yes, but later and with tentacles.” The pacing loves teasing. She gets groped by “accident” when a monster grabs her from behind, hands everywhere, her moans halfway between pain and very obvious something else. A so-called healing ritual where some shady old altar needs “physical contact” and she’s stroking, sucking, taking it like it’s all for the greater good. Your hero tells himself it’s just magic. The forest laughs.

The NTR flavor comes in quiet first. A hand that stays on her ass too long. A shot of her lips after she wipes off someone else’s cum and pretends it was part of the ceremony. You catch glimpses through bushes, like full on voyeur scenes where your character is “resting” while she goes to check something and you get these frames of her surrounded. Tentacles curling around her legs, sliding under the robe, smacking against that thick elf butt while she whimpers and still prays, because of course she does. There’s handjobs where she’s clearly trying to be “selfless” and ends up jerking off something non-human, eyes glazed, saying she only did it to protect you. Then later, oral scenes with her on her knees for someone else, drool and cum all over that pretty priest face, and the narration plays it like she’s sacrificing herself, but the blush and body language tell another story. Vaginal scenes go from “forced” to disturbingly eager, her grabbing hips, begging for more, clinging to monsters or other men with the same hands she used to hold yours. Spanking comes in as “punishment” or training, except every smack makes her ass jiggle and the camera practically worships it. She starts to arch into it, moaning too loud, and you just sit there like an idiot clicking forward, fully aware you’re not the main character anymore. The forest is. By the time she’s cheating in broad daylight, grinding that big ass down on someone else’s cock, talking about how it helps the mission, you already knew this was coming. You still feel that little stab when she looks back at you from the CG, eyes half guilty, half fucked stupid, like she remembers you just enough to hurt. And yeah, I got mad at one tiny thing: her hair clip keeps clipping through her ear in one scene and it pulled me out of the moment for two seconds. Then the tentacle went in and my brain forgot the complaint.

Ravenhollow looks like one of those villages you’d scroll past on Instagram gothcore feed, then zoom in because the girl in the background has dead eyes and huge tits. The game throws you there as this kinda awkward scientist guy, full of theory and not enough pussy, who honestly feels like he belongs more on Reddit than in a cursed forest. You’re supposed to be all “serious researcher” writing a thesis about monsters and anomalies, but ten minutes in you’re juggling notes about vampire behavior and trying not to stare at a werewolf girl’s bouncing ass while she pretends not to notice. The tone is really funny in that mean, sarcastic way, characters talk shit, tease you nonstop, and then suddenly you’re balls deep in a forest nymph and your noble academic career is over. In the best way. Sort of.

The star for me is Viernes13. She looks like Wednesday Addams if Wednesday had way more curves and zero patience. Black dress, straight hair, that bored goth stare that looks right through you like you’re already disappointing her. Her whole vibe screams “I know all the secrets here and I also know you’re horny and weak.” The game plays with that hard. First time she takes you into the forest, she talks about this thing called the Heart of Lugrenwald like it’s a scientific site, but she keeps brushing your arm on purpose, pausing a bit too long when she leans close, and you can literally feel the moment the “field study” turns into “ok, I’m gonna milk this nerd.” The teasing is slow, like she enjoys making you squirm, then suddenly she has her hand in your pants and you forget you were trying to measure anomalous energy. There is a blowjob scene by the dark trees where she keeps eye contact the entire time and it’s actually kinda unsettling and hot. Also her tits look soft but heavy as fuck, like they would actually hurt your face in a good way.

What surprised me is the combat and management parts don’t feel like lazy excuse. You have turn-based fights in the forest and around the village, but half the time it feels like flirting as combat. Some girls transform mid-battle, like a shapeshifter girl that gets more naked and more monstrous the more turns pass, and your brain has to choose between “wow, strategy” and “wow, I’d let her sit on my face even if she eats me after.” You collect stuff, give them as gifts, plan dates, manage your time like some cursed horny calendar. I got stuck one evening trying to min-max affection values for a big-ass vampire lady, and I accidentally triggered a scene where she pins the protagonist to a coffin and just rides him raw, slow grind, heavy tits bouncing, and she keeps talking in this calm, old-timey way while you’re literally creampie machine for her. It kinda ruined me a bit. The sandbox feeling is nice but also annoying sometimes because the game doesn’t always tell you clearly what to do next, so you wander around Ravenhollow like a lost idiot with blue balls. Also the text on one menu button is just slightly off center and it drives me crazy every single time I open it. I keep noticing it. I hate it. Anyway, the AI CG actually looks good most of the time, faces have expression, cum stays where it should, and the animated loops are dirty without being too sterile. Some scenes feel romantic, soft kisses and slow vaginal sex under weird moonlight, then next moment a monster girl is drooling on your dick and using you like a toy. The whole thing feels like a horny gothic zoo where you are the one getting observed, not them, and honestly I’m kinda ok with that.

New city, tiny apartment, couple that still fucks like rabbits and argues about who forgot to buy toilet paper. That’s basically the vibe here, and it works way better than it sounds. You bounce between her side and his side of the story, watching them drag their boxes into this new life and then immediately get distracted by how horny they are. One moment she’s pretending to unpack, bending over way too slow, panties peeking, just begging for a quick spanking on the kitchen counter. Next moment you’re on his POV, walking up behind her, hand on her ass, and the game just lets you linger on that tease before anything really happens. It keeps doing that: little pauses, small choices, like “kiss her neck” or “just grab her tits already,” that actually tilt the mood. Pick the softer, romantic options and you get these lazy, drawn-out scenes where she’s riding him, boobs bouncing in his face, eyes rolling back with that stupidly hot ahegao look while she tries to say something sweet and just ends up moaning. Go a bit rougher and it flips, she’s the one clawing his back, begging for him to stay in and fill her up, panting about how no condom feels better while your mouse is hovering between “pull out” and “fuck it, creampie.”

What I liked most is how the sexy stuff doesn’t feel like separate levels. You’re literally pointing and clicking around their daily crap: checking messages, clicking on a coffee mug, opening some random drawer, and suddenly you’ve triggered a flirty scene that spirals. You click on the couch because “whatever, next scene,” and bam, she’s straddling him, messy blowjob between jokes, spit on his shaft, she laughs with her mouth full and looks up with those huge eyes like “you like that, city boy?” Then later you see the same moment from her head, nervous about neighbors hearing, but still pushing his cock deeper because she wants to feel it hitting the back of her throat. The game has that weird talent of making their fights kinda hot too. They snap at each other about money or his new coworkers, then some stupid little choice like “apologize” or “double down and tease” can twist it into angry sex. There’s a scene where she storms off to the bedroom, slams the door, you follow, and it turns into her getting pinned to the mattress, cheeks going red from slaps on her ass, legs spread wide while she’s whining that they’re not done talking, even as she’s begging him to stay inside when he’s close. It’s messy, it’s romantic, it’s funny in spots, and sometimes it feels too real when they’re awkward after a hard fuck and don’t know if they went too far or not. The art looks like an AI tried really hard to be horny and kinda pulled it off, which somehow fits the whole “fresh start in a city that doesn’t care about you” theme. Nothing feels perfectly polished, but their chemistry, from slow teasing to deep, wet penetration shots and those “oh shit I actually came” faces, sells the fantasy hard enough that you’ll probably forget you were supposed to be exploring Birchfall and not just their bodies.

The first thing that hit me in House of Secrets was that quiet feeling of being watched in your own place. Not jumpscare stuff, more like you walk through this neat, almost too clean house and every room remembers what you did inside it. You sit on the couch with your wife, she barely looks at you, her voice feels cold even through text, and somehow it stings more than the actual sex scenes later. The sound of her heels on the floor, her stiff posture at the dining table, the way she pulls away when you try to touch her, all that is written in a way you almost feel the texture of the air between you. I had Discord open on the other monitor, music muted in Spotify, and still the silence in this game felt louder than everything.

Then the blonde shows up, this shy girl who moves like she is scared to take too much space. When she first enters the house, the camera sticks close to her body, to small details, like the way her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag or how her shirt clings slightly to her breasts when she breathes in. The pov angle really sells it, in a dirty way and also kind of intimate. You are basically following your own gaze, you linger too much on her big tits, on her ass when she bends a bit too far while helping in the kitchen, and the game just lets you be a creep without scolding you. One of the hotter moments for me was a simple one: she leans over you to reach a cabinet, and the fabric of her top brushes your face for half a second. There is no sex there, but my brain filled all the rest. Then five minutes later you are in the bedroom listening to your wife talk about how you never pay attention to her, and suddenly you feel like a dick and still keep saving your progress right before every branching choice so you can see all the wrong options.

Stuff happens in small spaces. Corridors, the bathroom mirror, the gap of a half open door where voyeurism really kicks in. Watching the wife undress from behind the door, seeing that big ass she never lets you touch anymore, or spying on the blonde when she thinks she is alone, her hand sliding under her panties, soft wet sounds described without shame. I liked that the game is not scared to describe the mess. When you finally cheat, it is not clean porn. There is the weight of a body on you, the scratch of nails, the smell of sweat in a closed room, the awkward bumping of knees. She rides you on that couch that used to be just for boring TV nights, her tits bouncing in your face, and you feel this stupid mix of guilt and pure lust. The CG quality is sometimes a bit uneven, some angles look like the AI went crazy with shadows on the face, but the way they handle skin, the shine on nipples, the curve of a thigh pressing down on your hips, it all works too well in motion of the story. I got annoyed that some clicking zones are tiny, like the hotspot on a glass in the kitchen, and spent way too long hunting that instead of boobs. Also one late scene in the bathroom mirrors is hot as fuck, water running down her body, her back pushing to the cold tiles, and yet the game still pretends you might want to save the marriage after that. Which is kind of bullshit, but I kept clicking anyway.

Guy wakes up in a house full of walking trouble: a stacked “aunt” who definitely doesn’t act like an aunt, a pair of twins that share way too much, and everyone keeps pretending this is a normal family situation. It almost feels wholesome for like five minutes. Breakfast, small talk, a bit of school drama, some chores. Then the day snaps back like a broken save file and you are right back in your bedroom with the same morning wood, the same moves to repeat, and suddenly every tiny choice you make starts looking like the setup for something filthy. You see how your “sister” bends over when she cleans, how the milf leans down when she checks your homework, how one twin bites her lip when you sit too close during some shitty TV show. At first you just click around like a normal point and click nerd, but slowly the game trains you to look at every object, every door crack, as potential voyeur moment.

The loop gives you permission to be bold. Mess up a date at school? Who cares, it resets. Touch her thigh during a movie, get slapped, reload. Next time you wait until she is sleepy and her head is on your shoulder, and the hand just “stays there” a little longer. You walk into the bathroom “by accident” more often, catch big tits bouncing in the shower, watch her finger herself and do nothing, then reload and decide this time you knock, play the sweet guy, and later ask for “help” with your own frustration. It goes from shy handjob under the blanket to her tits squeezed tight around your cock while she whispers that it is wrong, but her mouth says something completely different. The school side of it is like a playground too: bored classmates who turn into dates, blowjob in some empty room, the classic romance path that somehow still ends with anal on a desk right next to homework notes. You flirt, fail, redo, and suddenly you are juggling a jealous girl from class, a hungry milf at home, and twins that keep asking if you like one of them more.

And the game is dirty in all the ways you secretly expect from this kind of setting but still grin when it actually goes there. You can stand by the bedroom door at night and watch someone masturbate, just breathing quietly while 3DCG thighs rub together, toys slide in, her voice doing that little half-cry moan that sounds too real. Or you say screw it and slip under the blanket when she is half asleep, let your hands wander her body while she mumbles your name and pretends to stay unconscious. Feet on your cock one loop, her ass pressed against you “by accident” the next, then she shows up in some half-assed cosplay outfit you hinted at during a previous run and suddenly you are fucking her in stockings, cum all over that ridiculous costume. Vaginal, anal, titfuck, messy blowjob where she chokes and keeps going, twins sandwiching you like some porn hub fever dream; the loop means you can be the soft romantic guy one day and a selfish, cheating bastard the next, testing how far ntr vibes and secret hookups can push this fake family until everything is twisted. It is trashy, horny, kind of sweet in weird moments, and you will probably tell yourself “one more loop” while opening the same bedroom door again just to see who is touching themselves this time.

Shawn’s story feels like watching that nerdy guy from the phone shop finally snap and decide “ok, I want pussy and romance, not just anime and cable management.” You start as this awkward clerk who spends more time staring at big asses and big tits than actually selling shit, and slowly you figure out how to turn all that hopelessness into actual dates, groping, and a messy harem situation if you want. It’s a point and click thing, mostly, but wrapped like a mobile game where you’re always checking stats, schedules, moods, messages, and thinking “ok, who do I text for a blowjob tonight and who do I take to the park so she doesn’t hate me.” It feels a bit like Tinder combined with doing chores. Sexy chores with footjobs and titfucks at the end if you play it right.

The three main women all poke at you in different ways. Palla is this lazy moocher roommate who walks around the apartment half dressed, constantly teasing, like she knows exactly how hard your dick is when she bends over the couch. First time I got to grope her “by accident,” in the kitchen, I actually had to put the phone down for a second. She complains, pretends to be offended, but you see the romance flags going up and suddenly you’re on the bed with her giving you oral, and you’re like, yeah ok, that escalated fast. Audrey is the one who roasts you non-stop, the kind of girl that calls you a nerd in public, then lets you finger her in the cinema if you picked the right dialogue two days before. I had one scene where I messed up a choice and she just walked away, no sex, nothing, and I had to grind work again like a clown just to afford a stupid gift to fix things. Amy is even worse. Co-worker who treats you like trash, and when you finally flip the script, you can go sweet romance or full scumbag. My first run I tried to be nice, gave her presents, asked her out to cute dating spots. Second run I just went horny goblin and rushed for a bathroom blowjob at the store. Both paths feel wrong and fun in different ways.

The sandbox structure is where shit gets interesting and also a bit annoying. You wander around different locations, click stuff, run into random events, try to keep everyone happy without blowing your cover. One day you’re having tender vaginal sex with one girl on a date after building up affection, the next day you accidentally line up a booty call with another and suddenly your whole “faithful guy” image is dead. I liked how you can be a sweet romantic nerd who sends flirty texts and brings flowers, or a manipulative seducer stacking a harem where everyone is sharing your dick, or at least pretending not to care. Sometimes it feels like you’re juggling too much. Money, clothes, phones, schedules, affection, lust, jealousy. I got lost once just trying to remember who liked which gift on which day, cursed at the screen, then kept going anyway because I wanted to see that one scene where she sits on your face after a long teasing build-up. That’s the thing here. You end up doing little boring actions for the chance of a hot event where you get a footjob on the couch, or she wraps her massive tits around your shaft and you forget all the min-maxing for a minute. It’s messy, horny, sometimes romantic, sometimes just straight up scummy, and it feels exactly like a nerd’s brain trying to manage porn fantasies and actual relationships at the same time.