HeartProblems looks like one of those games you open just to “check it for five minutes” and then suddenly you’re clicking through scenes like a horny raccoon searching in the trash. On the surface it’s the usual porn VN setup: young guy, dead parents, moves in with uncle, house full of women that absolutely should not be as hot as they are. Milf energy in the kitchen, stacked bodies, tight clothes, that kind of slow-burn teasing where nothing “really” happens at first but your brain is already writing fanfic. Feels a bit like when you open X and see one “harmless” clip, then the algorithm decides you’re never seeing normal content again.

What sells it for me is how dirty it gets while pretending to be wholesome. You start as this awkward dude just walking around the house, talking, doing little choices that look innocent: help with the laundry, watch TV together on the couch, massage a sore back. The game loves to put you in those “accidental” skin contact situations. Hand brushing over that thick ass when you squeeze past in the hallway. Waking up with her on the sofa, your face basically in her tits, and she acts annoyed but does not move away. Corruption here is not some instant switch, it’s death by a thousand horny cuts. One day she slaps your hand for groping, later she just sighs, later she pretends not to notice, and then suddenly her leg is opening a bit more when you sit down. I caught myself saving before every dialogue just to try the slightly more perverted line and see if I can push one step further without getting shut down.

The 3D style is a bit uneven, which somehow fits. Some scenes look like they belong in a premium Patreon post, others feel like they were rendered while the dev was alt-tabbing to Telegram. Tits are huge, unapologetically so, bouncing and squeezed into outfits that clearly lost the fight with gravity. Asses too, like, “there is no way this character can find jeans in her size” big. Sometimes the proportions feel almost too much, but that might be exactly why it works. It reminds me of those cursed TikToks where the filter stretches everything and yet people in comments still type “link?” The humiliation angle hits when the MC gets caught peeking, or when one of them talks to him like he’s still a kid while his dick is obviously reacting in the shot. There’s a really fun scene where you get caught staring at her cleavage at breakfast, and the way she leans forward, half mocking you, half secretly enjoying your discomfort, is actually hotter than the later explicit stuff. And the mobile build is nice; playing this in bed with brightness low like some shameful little goblin feels exactly right. It’s weird, messy, sometimes clunky, and that’s kind of perfect for what it is.

You start the game literally as a corpse, which already feels different from all the usual “new semester at horny academy” stuff. You’re dead, you’re on the table, and then your childhood friend drags in an angel and a demon, does this sketchy ritual that looks like something she half-learned from hentai and half from a scam YouTube occult channel, and suddenly you’re back in your own body. Kind of. You’re still you, just with this creepy awareness that these three girls basically own your second life. And they act like it. From the first POV scene you can feel that vibe: you’re the male protagonist, you talk, you react, but they keep grabbing your face, pushing your head between tits, grinding their big asses on you, like you’re some resurrected toy they saved for their own fun. It slips between teasing and straight up domination pretty fast. One moment the angel girl is all “we only want to help you adjust” with this choir-like soft music in the back, next moment she’s riding you, wings spread, drooling a bit, ahegao face and everything, saying she needs your “holy seed” to stabilize your soul. Sure. Totally medical reason.

The fantasy angle makes the harem thing feel almost logical. You have the childhood friend, who acts like a tsundere milf trapped in a younger body, always pretending she cares about your “safety” while sitting on your lap in just a shirt, rubbing your cock with lazy hips while lecturing you about not dying again. Then the demon girl shows up with horns, tail, big tits barely staying in some cosplay-looking outfit, and she’s pure chaos. She’ll pin you down, sit on your face, use your tongue like it’s contract payment, then five minutes later let you ram her ass until she’s shaking, only to smirk and call you her “pet hero”. There’s this scene where she gives you a handjob under the table while the angel talks about “spiritual balance” and you’re trying to click dialogue options without blowing your load too early. By the way, the clicking sound effect is weirdly loud, I kept thinking my neighbors could hear it more than the moans and that annoyed me way more than it should. Anyway. The monster girl race that killed you is also in the mix, but instead of hating them you basically end up fucking them. There’s a furry type with fluffy ears who pretends to be shy, then suddenly she’s giving you a sloppy blowjob, licking all the way to your balls, looking up with those wet eyes, then pushing your dick between her tits for a messy titfuck that ends in creampie between her breasts and she’s giggling like it’s the best thing ever. Game just shrugs and moves on.

I liked how the camera hugs the POV angle most of the time. When someone gives you a footjob, you really feel like you’re the one pinned on the bed, her toes curling around your shaft, heel pressing against your balls, and the sound of slick skin and her tiny breathy laughs in your ear. There’s a voyeurism bit where your resurrected body isn’t quite “stable” yet, so you wake up half transparent in a room and watch Misaki-like teacher character masturbate on her desk, fingering herself, pressing her big ass against the chair, whispering your name even though she thinks you’re dead. You can’t touch, you can only watch, camera slowly sliding around her as she grinds on her own hand, and then later, when you finally get solid again, she corners you in a corridor and calmly tells you she knows you were looking. Then she grabs your hand, presses it against her ass, makes you grope her in this quiet hallway while students walk somewhere offscreen. She smiles like a predator and edges you on purpose, only letting you cum when she’s got you buried in her pussy, milking you dry with these slow, deep thrusts that feel almost too intimate compared to the wild group sex scenes where everyone is climbing on top of you, swapping from oral to anal to vaginal like it’s a competition. The moans sometimes loop a bit awkward, and a couple of lines sound like they recorded them in a closet, but honestly that roughness kind of fits the whole “forbidden ritual brought you back just to turn you into a walking sex magnet” mood. Also, the way one girl keeps calling you “small fry” even while she’s riding you raw until your cum spills out of her and drips down her thigh really annoyed me. I kept waiting for a scene where you finally shut her up properly, never got it.

First impression: it feels like someone mashed together horny high school memories, a porn hub search history full of “thick milf teacher” and “classroom creampie,” then let it simmer in a sandbox where you keep telling yourself “just one more event” while your coffee goes cold and your dick doesn’t. You land in this shiny, fake-clean Lakeside Academy as the new transfer guy, and everything looks normal for like five seconds. Then you notice the way the homeroom teacher’s blouse keeps “accidentally” opening a bit too far when she leans over your desk, or how the busty classmate pretends she’s not staring at your crotch when you answer questions wrong. It’s a school game, alright, but the vibe is less “study hard” and more “how fast can I make everyone break the dress code in the most indecent way possible.”

What really got me was how the teasing hits first, before the full-on porn. You’re walking corridors, poking around like in any sandbox, and the game keeps throwing these small moments at you. Short skirt flipping just a bit too high when she runs up the stairs. That milf admin bending over the file cabinet with an ass that honestly looks like it should be illegal on school property. One scene had me stuck in the nurse’s office, just watching her animated tongue slowly trace along a lollipop while she pretended it was “for stress.” It was so stupid and so hot I actually had to pause and laugh. The animations themselves are kinda rough sometimes, like a cheap hentai gif pack someone upgraded, but in a good way? They’re not perfect at all and that makes them feel more dirty, less sterile. Actually, no, sometimes it annoyed me how stiff some motions looked during oral scenes, like she’s going crazy with her lips but her head is a bit robotic. I still came hard so I guess I didn’t hate it that much. Whatever.

Once you find the rhythm, the game becomes this loop of “okay, I’ll just do this mini game, then head to class, then maybe I’ll finally get to fuck that stacked teacher after school.” The mini games themselves range from “weirdly fun little distraction” to “why the fuck did they think this was a good idea.” There was one where I had to time button presses during a teasing scene to not blow my load too early, and I swear, missing the timing and watching the girl laugh at you for cumming in your pants instead of her tight pussy was both humiliating and kinda hot. But then another one made me chase some item across the map for like the fifth time and I was just grinding, no pun, mumbling at my screen. Story pretends to be about drama and school life, with enemies and friendships and all that, but after the third time I had a thick ass pressed against the desk while going raw and pumping a creampie into her, I stopped caring who hated who and just followed the routes that promised more skin. There’s something nice though in how the game doesn’t rush you; it lets you be a pervy student going from class to hidden corners, slowly unlocking more explicit stuff, from soft teasing to full vaginal pounding, watching big tits bounce in those short loops. It’s messy, oddly charming, frustrating in small spots, and horny in that very specific “I shouldn’t be seeing this in a classroom” way that hits way too close to some old fantasies.

Danny McCroy feels like that dude you see in a bar on a Tuesday afternoon, a little too confident, a little too horny, and somehow the universe keeps putting wet, messy situations in his lap. The game throws you into his skin and just lets you stumble from one filthy encounter to another with barely any attempt to pretend this is “wholesome romance”. You get a bit of story, some light plot about his life, but honestly it’s just scaffolding so he can end up face-first between someone’s thighs or buried in a thick ass that probably defies physics. I kinda respect that. It’s like the dev looked at subtlety and just said “nah, we’re here to make your dick do the thinking”. You click through dialog, tease a bit, pick some horny options, and suddenly he’s got his tongue in places and his hands in places and occasionally both at once. When the first scene where he actually goes down on her happened, the build up was just enough to make it feel earned, but not so long that I opened Twitter from boredom. Good balance, for someone clearly very focused on holes.

What surprised me most is how unashamedly the game treats older women. The MILF in here isn’t just a side dish, she walks into the room and everything kind of rearranges itself around her tits and her ass like gravity got confused. She’s not written like some fragile mom fantasy either. She’s bossy, a bit mean, and when Danny finally gets between her legs, it feels like he’s working for it, tongue doing overtime while she pulls his hair like a handle. The scene where she makes him focus on her first, riding his face and grinding till he’s basically suffocating in pussy, was way better than I expected. Then later, when she casually reaches for a toy from the bedside drawer like she’s done this a thousand times, and tells him to keep going while she fills herself even deeper, that’s the moment I sort of forgot I was “reviewing” anything. The pacing there hits that sweet spot where you’re half annoyed by how long she teases and then suddenly he’s stretching her with his hand, knuckles disappearing, and you just think, yeah, that escalated nicely.

The game does have this thing where it really wants Danny to be a universal key that fits every lock. Younger girl, older woman, tight body, big tits, asian beauty with that careful makeup and soft voice that hides a real nasty side once she spreads her legs. He somehow always has the same cocky grin, whether he’s licking slow up a slit, tongue circling the clit, or he’s pushing in from behind and staring at the way her ass bounces when he slams her. There’s an anal scene where she pretends to resist at first, just a little, then that first moment when he pushes past and her face shifts from “no way” to “oh fuck” is honestly the best expression work in the whole thing. I wish they had that level of attention on every scene, but then there are moments where dialog feels like it was written in a rush, like a bad porn title got turned into a line. Still, when he’s got a toy buzzing on her clit while he fucks her from behind, watching her tits sway and her ass shake, it all sort of melts together into this messy, dirty, low-class kind of hot. It’s not elegant. It’s not trying to be. It’s like Danny’s whole world is just mouths, tits, asses, and holes to fill, and honestly, sometimes that’s enough.

Your dad bails to the Caribbean with his side piece and a bag full of stolen cash, the house is basically broke, and the only thing he leaves you is a mess of women, old feelings, and a mortgage-sized headache. That is literally your “welcome home” after college. You roll back into this big family place that used to feel safe and suddenly it has to become a half-legal college dorm full of horny students, stressed milfs, and people who remember you way too well. Some of them remember you as the sweet kid, some as the idiot who left town, some as the virgin who never got to finish what you both started. Now everyone is older, hotter, more desperate, and the walls are thinner than you remember. It starts slow, just little teasing looks, sleepwear that is way too short, “accidental” gropes when you squeeze past in the hallway. Then the game throws you straight into this mix of romance, messed-up family tension, and filthy humor that honestly feels a bit too real sometimes. One minute your stepsis is mocking you for still blushing at a footjob joke, the next she’s planting her heel in your lap under the table while your “aunt” with the huge tits talks about rent and pretends not to see anything.

What I liked is how the game leans into the awkwardness instead of pretending everyone is some perfect porn robot. There is actual teasing. Like, she will jerk you off halfway and then stop just because you picked the wrong dialog line two scenes ago and she still remembers you flaking on her date in high school. The POV stuff really hits when you’re lying in bed and a girl you kind of grew up with quietly slips under the sheets, thinking you’re asleep, grinding against you in the dark. No loud music, just breathing and half-whispered curses. If you play as a good guy you can wake her gently and turn it into this soft, romantic thing. If you lean into corruption, you pretend to be asleep and let her keep going, or grab her hips and push it further than she expected. There are scenes where the twins tag-team you with this fake innocent attitude, one riding your face while the other milks you, and then they start arguing about who gets your “first” creampie like you’re their personal trophy. There is a milf who is stressed about money, leaking milk through her shirt while she tries to stay professional, and the game does not shy away from that. You can help her, comfort her, or push her into this messed up lactation scene on the couch in the living room, with you switching between titfuck and oral while the TV is still on. Some routes will let you slowly turn the house into your own harem, from anal with the cocky college girl in the guest room to raw vaginal sex with the girl who swore she’d never forgive you, and yeah, pregnancy is on the table if you lean into it. The netori angle is also there: you seduce women who technically shouldn’t be yours, some already taken, some kind of “spoken for” by your missing father, and the game knows exactly how dirty that feels. It’s not subtle about incest themes either, but it wraps them in this weird mix of love, guilt, and constant horny tension that fits the whole “dysfunctional family home turned sex dorm” vibe. You get multiple endings depending on who you focus on, who you knock up, who you ignore, and whether you keep pretending you’re the good guy or finally accept that your new life is just one long, fucked up, very hot line you crossed without ever going back.

Game starts in that weird way where everything looks kind of normal, but all the camera angles are already staring at tits and asses like they’re setting up a punchline. You pick if you’re a guy or futa and it changes the vibe more than I expected. As futa, the dialogue reads a bit different, more teasing, like the game knows you’re walking around with a weapon between your legs. As a dude, it leans harder into that “overwhelmed but horny anyway” fantasy. Either way, you’re thrown into a world where some women are just… wrong size. Not tall like a model. Big like your line of sight turns into one huge ass cheek and a nipple casting a shadow on the pavement. And the game doesn’t even pretend to be subtle. You talk, you click, someone’s shirt is too tight, it rips, you see breasts that are clearly violating physics and probably human rights. And it just keeps escalating.

What I like is how it mixes the giant girls with personal, close contact stuff. One scene you’re basically a toy, stuck between a milf’s thighs while she casually chats like it’s no big deal you’re pressed against her soaked panties. Then later you end up in a more classic bedroom moment with a stacked mature woman who pretends this is a normal date, until her tits start swelling mid foreplay and suddenly you’re trying to titfuck her and the game has to zoom out because each breast is like a separate horizon. The dev clearly gets the fetish side: huge asses swinging when they walk, nipples leaking milk during conversations, a girl absentmindedly masturbating with you watching from her palm like it’s a TikTok live. There’s a really stupid and also perfect scene where you slip while climbing a giantess and faceplant straight into her asshole area and the game just treats it like a “whoops, anyway” moment. And yeah, there’s harem energy all over. Different personalities, but same general rule: they want you inside them, around them, under them, or coated in something. Creampies are everywhere, sometimes regular, sometimes on a scale where your whole body is just part of the mess. It can be oddly sweet then instantly filthy. Sometimes in the same line of dialogue. It annoyed me that the phone UI in one scene looks like some cheap early Android app and they never use it again for any cool mechanic. I kept expecting it to matter. It doesn’t.

Transformation parts hit different, too. You’re not just watching the girls change size. There are moments where a normal girl you’ve been teasing suddenly balloons in the right places during a makeout session, ass stretching her panties, boobs swelling until the straps dig into her skin, her moaning not only from pleasure but from feeling herself literally grow around your hands. One route flips it and lets you pick futa, and then the power balance changes because now your cock can actually keep up with some of these giant holes. There’s this nice absurd contrast where one milf cradles you like a doll, stroking your hair, then lowers you toward her pussy and it’s just this dripping cave that you’re supposed to “fill” somehow. You can, kind of, but the game knows it’s ridiculous and leans into it, with angles straight out of a size-fetish discord channel. Vaginal sex scenes range from soft and slow to “she sits down and you basically disappear in folds of wet flesh.” The lactation stuff is heavy. Not just a small drip, more like a girl jerks herself off with one hand and squeezes her huge breast with the other, spraying over you while you jerk or finger her, and there’s a bit where you actually hump her boob while it’s leaking and it’s both messy and stupid in the best porn way. They even sneak in masturbation segments where you’re not touching anyone, just watching these giant bodies and jerking off while the game teases you with closeups of thighs, lips, and that moment right before penetration. Things aren’t perfect, some dialogue sounds like it was half written on a phone while the dev was horny and distracted, but it kind of fits. It feels less like a polished porn movie and more like you stumbled into someone’s very specific collection of fantasies, stacked on top of each other until the screen can barely hold them.

New city, new school, and your first big decision is basically “study or jerk off while spying through somebody’s window.” That’s the kind of vibe this game has, and honestly it works way too well. You show up in this kinda normal-looking academy town, but everybody is obsessed with this card game that is clearly not balanced, not healthy, and definitely not safe for a school environment. One minute you’re trying to pass a boring class, next minute you’re locked into a turn based fight where you’re trying to outplay some smug bastard while also getting distracted by the fact that his mom has her tits spilling out of a blouse that should not pass any dress code ever made. The whole “Battles of Mythria” thing is like if Yu-Gi-Oh watched too much porn and decided clothes are optional while dueling. You sit there thinking about card synergies and suddenly the reward screen is a girl with a big ass bending over your desk, animated just enough that your brain goes “ok, yeah, I’m staying.”

The sex stuff is slow-burn and then somehow also not at all. You start with these teasing moments that feel like accidents: your hand “accidentally” landing on a thigh in the library, a MILF teacher leaning in a bit too close so your face is basically buried in her cleavage, brushing past a girl in the corridor and feeling way more than you should. The game loves voyeurism. A lot. You peek through cracked doors, watch a classmate masturbating on her bed while pretending you’re looking for a lost book, see a shower silhouette where the tits are just detailed enough that you pause your Spotify to focus. Sometimes it lets you decide: jerk off quietly right there with your mouse hand doing double duty, or save the tension for later so maybe she “catches” you another day and you end up with a handjob under a desk instead. And when a blowjob scene hits, it doesn’t just show it, it lingers. The lips move, saliva strings, her head rhythm matches the text boxes popping, and you forget there was supposed to be any kind of “plot mystery” in this town at all. The best part is when a card battle goes wrong, you lose, and the punishment is her pinning you down, pressing those huge tits into your face and groping you like you’re the prize. The worst part is the tiny hover tooltips in combat that flicker when you move the cursor too fast and now I’m mad thinking about it again because I kept misclicking like an idiot and skipping turns while half hard. Anyway, the art is this weird mix of clean 2D CG and clearly AI-touched details, so sometimes a nipple looks too perfect for a human hand and sometimes a hand looks like it’s almost grabbing three boobs at once, and somehow that makes it hotter. It’s messy, horny, and just serious enough that you pretend you’re here for the adventure, while your real “strategy” is figuring out which girl to push from teasing and groping into that scene where she drops to her knees in a quiet corner of the school and takes you in her mouth like you’re the rarest card in the deck.

You’re playing this regular dude who thinks his life is boring as shit, scrolling Telegram and TikTok, jerking off to the same trash porn, going to work, coming back, repeat. Then these new neighbors show up, all smiles and weird vibes, and it’s like the whole building suddenly got horny and cursed at the same time. They’re hot, but in that “something’s wrong here” way, like you open the door and your brain goes, yeah, I’m fucked. Not because they’re dangerous. Because you *know* you’re gonna do stupid things for pussy. And the game lets you. It doesn’t rush anything though. First contact is all teasing, light touches, accidental gropes, that kind of thing, and you can already feel the corruption hooks going in. There’s this moment where one of the “normal” MILFs from your daily routine suddenly starts wearing this tight top after your first little spell goes off, tits pressed together like they’re trying to escape, and she leans in your car window to ask a basic question, but the camera just stays on her cleavage like the game is laughing at you. I had to alt-tab out of sheer frustration, check Discord, then come back and immediately try to push the corruption harder. Self control gone.

The sandbox part actually feels like a horny to‑do list, which sounds bad, but is fun as hell. You’re bouncing around locations, checking who’s around, who’s ready for the next “upgrade,” who still needs more nudging, who you wanna break mentally first. One girl goes slowly from shy and flat to this curvy monster girl with thick thighs and ridiculous boobs, and it’s not just a switch; you see stages. First she lets you “accidentally” grope her, then she pretends to be angry, then she’s sitting on your lap, kind of grinding while talking about something that doesn’t even matter. At some point you’re deciding if you want them more bimbo, more twisted, more obedient, and the game just lets you stack the harem like a fucked up Pokémon collection, except half of them call you something they really shouldn’t be calling you in bed. The group scenes sneak up on you too. You line up events wrong and suddenly you’re in a room where two of your “projects” show up together, and instead of drama, they’re just sharing your cock like it’s no big deal, one riding your face while the other takes it deep and then asking you which body you like more. There’s anal, oral, tits wrapped around you, messy creampies where you watch your cum drip out while the girl’s eyes are just gone, totally taken by your magic and control. It feels nasty and powerful and also kind of fucked, which is exactly why I kept clicking for “one more scene” long after I said I’d stop.

Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.