You’re a rookie reporter who clearly skipped the “professional distance” chapter in journalism school. The game drops you back in your hometown with a shiny new job at the top newspaper, but it feels less like serious reporting and more like a long, horny field trip where every “interview” can end with your dick somewhere it absolutely shouldn’t be. One minute you’re chasing a lead about some shady business deal, the next you’re on your knees under a desk, trying to keep eye contact with your source while she’s forcing her cock-wet lips down on you and whispering, “Ask better questions.” It’s that kind of story. The whole thing plays like a visual novel with choices that pretend to be about ethics and truth, but half the time you’re just deciding if you want your face between her thighs or under her feet. When your editor calls you into her office, you expect a lecture. Instead you get her sitting on the edge of her desk in a tight blouse, tits about to pop out, and she shuts you up by shoving her foot into your lap and making you rub your cock against her sole until you’re leaking through your pants. Then she asks you for your article draft like nothing happened. I actually laughed out loud there, it felt wrong in a good way.

Sex is everywhere, but not in a soft fade-to-black way. The writing goes straight for it. There’s a scene with a politician’s wife who looks like she walked out from some old “serious interview” magazine cover, glasses, expensive dress, perfect big ass, the whole classy thing. She starts out teasing, brushing her thigh against you under the table while you’re trying to keep your recorder steady. Then she locks the door, kneels down, and you’re suddenly drowning in sloppy, noisy oral where she keeps eye contact and drool is sliding down your shaft. Later she rides you hard on a couch, tits bouncing in your face while she tells you not to stop asking questions, and when you finally push her on her stomach and go in her pussy from behind, the game really leans into describing how she’s clenching around you and begging you to pound her like you’re breaking some embargo. Anal is treated almost like a reward for pushing a scene far enough. There’s this moment on a rooftop with a rival journalist where she first jacks you off with her foot, pressing her heel against your balls, then she bends over the low wall, pulls her skirt up, and tells you “If you want this story, fuck my ass.” She’s tight, she grunts into her own arm, and the text is very direct about the way her asshole stretches and the way your cum fills her. No fading, no “tasteful” cut. You feel like a completely unethical bastard, and the game wants that.

The AI art is actually kinda weird in a charming way. Some shots are hot as hell, like the close-ups of wet lips around your cock, or the way their nipples poke through shirts when they lean over your desk. Sometimes fingers look a bit off or a foot angle feels strange when a girl is jerking you with her toes, but honestly, during a good blowjob scene, I forgot to care. One thing I didn’t like: the pacing sometimes goes from horny to “okay, now read five screens of investigation talk” at really random moments, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, the game jumps you into another sex scene with almost no build-up. It feels like the writer couldn’t decide if this is a serious adventure or just porn with a plot as a flimsy excuse. But that contrast also makes some moments hit harder. After a long bit where you’re actually chasing clues, you end up in a car with a source, rain outside, the city lights reflecting, and she just quietly unzips you and starts sucking you off while you’re pretending to go over notes. There is something very dirty about that calm, focused blowjob. I also kept tapping my screen trying to scroll back on one scene where you fuck this stacked receptionist against the office window, her tits smooshed on the glass while you slam in her pussy and she keeps moaning that someone below might see. The sound, the text, the way she keeps begging for more even after you cum inside her, telling you to stay hard and give her your dick again, felt way more intense than I expected from a horny little journalist game. I wanted more reactions from NPCs after all this abuse of power, but the story just shrugs and throws you to the next big-titted lead. Honestly, at some point I forgot if I was supposed to care about the mystery at all. I just kept following whatever route promised another scene where I’d get used as a human cock by someone who knows exactly how to play with my curiosity.

Tifa in a dirty Asgar back alley is honestly one of those ideas that sounds like a shitpost you see on Twitter, then you actually click and suddenly you are sitting there, pants half down, thinking about ethics. The game throws you into this narrow, trashy street corner where Tifa’s “chance encounter” is not really chance at all, it feels more like the city itself is horny and bored and wants to see what happens if you poke her morality with a stick. You move around with simple point & click stuff, nothing fancy, but the way it uses that simplicity is what stuck with me. Clicking a trash can to see if there is something useful in there, then realizing the thing you find is not an item, but a decision that will push her closer to being a public slut or staying that slightly sad “good girl who knows better” is weirdly heavy. At one moment I was carefully choosing polite dialogue, trying to keep her dignity, and five minutes later I was letting her bend over near a flickering neon sign while some random nobody jerked off watching her and the game treated it like a natural escalation, not a sudden “corruption level 100” jump. It creeps up on you. You think you still control the line, and then a new option appears like “maybe flash your tits, nobody will notice,” and of course the whole alley notices.

What really messes with your head is how it uses those AI CG images. Most AI porn games feel like a Frankenstein of mismatched faces and extra fingers, but here the Tifa knockoff is close enough to tick the nostalgia brain, and different enough you start reading her like an alternate universe version. Her boobs are weaponized, obviously, but not only in the “big tits for clickbait” way. You get a scene where she is cornered near a broken streetlight, and two dudes are arguing over who gets to “check if she is really as soft as she looks,” and the camera shifts between her embarrassed face and that tight top about to give up on physics. It feels wrong and hot at the same time, like you are participating in a stupid social experiment about how many times you will click “let them touch a bit more” before you feel like trash. Then the game throws Aerith into the mix and suddenly there is this weird soft romance flavor sliding under all the sleaze. One path has you focusing on Tifa’s spiral into exhibitionism, letting her discover she actually likes being watched, like properly likes it, moaning louder on purpose because she knows there might be someone behind the window. Another bit switches you over to a male POV, looking at her and Aerith almost like collectibles, and I hated how efficient that perspective is. It makes you treat them as reward screens, then suddenly there is a little tender gesture between them, a kiss that is not just porn logic, and your brain has to adjust: oh, shit, maybe they feel something too. The romance is clumsy but honest, like two thirsty people in a city that only respects power and skin. I wish the UI wasn’t so stiff and some of the dialogue didn’t sound like Google Translate drunk on cheap wine, but in a funny way it fits the whole “morals falling apart in a forgotten alley” vibe. It feels broken in the same way the characters are broken. And yeah, that text choice that moves half a pixel when you hover? I’m still irrationally angry about that.

Bored guy in a glass box in the sky decides he wants to break his toy a little. That is basically the soul of this thing. You start as this marketing exec who has everything dialed in: money, cool apartment with stupidly huge windows, and a girlfriend who looks like she walked out of some luxury perfume ad, all long legs, big tits, expensive taste, polite smile. She is “good girl” in that high society way, the kind that apologizes when the waiter bumps into her. And you look at her and think: what happens if I push? Just a bit. Just enough to crack that perfect mask. So you tell her to take off her clothes next to the glass, where the city can see. It is not even subtle. It is just: show me how far you can fall for me.

What I liked is how dirty it feels without being all screaming porn right away. At first it is like a stupid couple game, 30 seconds with her shirt open, her nipples pressed to the cold glass, you standing behind her, half teasing, half testing. You keep talking, whispering in her ear about people watching, about the office guy across the street maybe jerking off behind his blinds. She blushes, tries to cover herself with her hands, and of course you move them away. Tiny thing that annoyed me: at one point she wears these heels that look like they were grabbed from a random asset store and my brain just fixated on them for no reason. Anyway. Slowly she starts obeying faster. You tell her to bend over, to spread, to let you slide your fingers inside her while the city is right there, all the lights, all the windows. Sometimes the game cuts to this voyeur angle, like you are on the opposite balcony, watching her tits bounce while you fuck her from behind, and it feels wrong in that good, greasy way. Sometimes the pacing is weird and a scene just ends when you actually wanted to stay there longer, with her face smashed on the glass, mouth open, drool, eyes rolling up in that ahegao mess. I even paused once just to stare at the reflection of your own body in the window, pressing close behind her, like you two are on display in some live porn shop above the street.

Over time she shifts from “no, this is crazy” to touching herself on her own, pressing her pussy on the window, rubbing her clit while people maybe walk below and you just watch, arms crossed, this calm little overlord vibe. There is romance, but it is twisted, because every “I love you” is wrapped around male domination. You praise her, then push her harder. Make her suck you while the curtains are half open, then pull her hair and aim your cum so it drips down her chin in full view of those hypothetical neighbors you keep talking about. One creampie scene sticks in my head: you make her ride you facing the glass, her big ass slamming down, your cock buried inside her until you fill her and tell her not to move, to let it leak while she stares at her own reflection, cheeks flushed, half ashamed, half proud. It is corruption but also kind of a collaboration, because she slowly starts wanting it, asking “do you think they can see my tits from here?” then lifting them up like an exhibitionist little trophy. Anal slips in as a sort of next-level dare, where she hesitates, then lets you push in while she bites the glass, hands flat, nails scratching. There is oral, there is masturbation, there are those moments where you catch her stroking herself when you are not even in the room and the camera pretends to be security footage. Part of me wanted more variety outside the apartment, but at the same time, that single cage of glass and city lights gives it this weird art piece feeling, like the whole relationship is a performance for invisible strangers scrolling their phones on the other side of the street.

Valley Awakening feels like someone mashed together a horny slice-of-life anime, a sleepy countryside soap opera, and that one trashy webtoon you pretend you don’t read on the train. You play the guy who moves into this small valley town where everyone looks way too hot for a place with probably one supermarket and zero nightlife. The first thing that hits you is the landlady. She’s in that dangerous zone: mature, soft in all the right places, big tits stuffed inside clothes that are pretending to be modest but failing completely. She fusses over you like a mom, but the camera keeps dipping just a little too low when she leans over your bed, and it’s pretty obvious the game knows exactly what you’re thinking. There’s this early scene where she wakes you up, sitting on the edge of the bed, hair messy, tank top slipping, and you get that “I should not be hard right now but I am absolutely hard” vibe. Later, when the sleep sex stuff kicks in, the line between “oops my hand moved by itself” and “I am 100% doing this on purpose” gets very thin and very hot. The game likes that sleepy-room, hushed-breath kind of pervy, and it commits.

Then the neighbor girl shows up and the whole thing gets even messier. She’s got that bright, slightly bratty energy, like she installed TikTok directly into her bloodstream. You meet her half-dressed in the hallway, phone in hand, earbuds in, completely unaware of how short her shorts are when she bends down to pick something up. There’s a scene where she asks you for “help with something on her phone,” and it’s literally just an excuse to drag you onto her bed so she can lean against you, her tits pressing into your arm while she pretends to scroll. The game uses those little animated loops a lot: her lips slowly wrapping around your cock during oral, her hips rolling when you finally fuck her, small movements in her face when she goes from shy to openly craving it. The AI CG look gives everything this slightly uncanny, almost too-perfect gloss, like hentai fanart fed steroids. Sometimes the expressions glitch a bit in a funny way, like her “surprised” face looks more like she saw a weird meme, but honestly it kind of adds charm. I spent way too long replaying one scene where the landlady is half-asleep, you slide under the sheets, and her legs just automatically open like her body already knows you. It’s slow, almost quiet, the animation focusing on the slow thrusts, the wet sounds, and her barely awake moans. Cheap? Absolutely. Effective? Also absolutely. The incest-adjacent vibe is strong, especially when she scolds you like a parent in one scene, then lets you grope her in the kitchen when she “accidentally” presses back against you. The whole town has this feeling like everyone is in heat and pretending not to be. You’re there to “build relationships” or whatever, but in practice it means a lot of groping in cramped rooms, mouths getting busy under the covers, big tits bouncing on your lap while the rest of the world politely looks away. It’s messy, wrong in a fun way, kind of trashy, and exactly the kind of thing you think about later while staring at your phone pretending to check email.

Luke's got this whole university thing figured out - or at least he thinks he does. This isn't your typical college romance where some awkward freshman stumbles through dating mishaps. Nah, Luke's been through this rodeo before, literally. Time loops, resets, whatever you want to call it - he's lived his first year over and over until he's basically gaming the system. Now he's ready for what he calls "Phase Two," which sounds way more strategic than it probably should be for a guy just trying to get laid.

The whole premise is pretty wild when you think about it. Luke's essentially become a relationship speedrunner, knowing exactly which buttons to push with each girl. There's this maid cafe setup that becomes central to everything - because of course there is. The game throws you into managing relationships with different girls who each have their own specific kinks and fetishes. One minute you're dealing with some vanilla romance situation, next thing you know you're deep in BDSM territory or watching some serious NTR unfold. The variety is honestly overwhelming sometimes. You've got your classic anime parody characters mixed in too - I spotted what looked like Nico Robin and Boa Hancock variants, which feels both nostalgic and weird at the same time.

What gets me is how the game handles the whole "perfect base" concept Luke keeps talking about. It's like he's treating relationships like some kind of RPG stat management, which... honestly isn't that far from reality if we're being real here. The turn-based combat elements feel randomly thrown in, but somehow work with the overall simulator vibe. There's phone interactions, dating mechanics, and this whole corruption progression system that gets pretty intense. The multiple endings thing means you're constantly second-guessing your choices, wondering if you're optimizing for the right fetish path or missing out on some kinky scenario. Luke might have his advantage, but navigating all these relationship dynamics still feels like controlled chaos.

Jenny starts this thing already in trouble and I kind of love that. No slow “haha we’re just students on a trip” bullshit, you blink and she’s in a cave, stuff falls, boom, she’s cut off from everyone and stuck in the dark with a flashlight that feels like it came from a cheap gas station. And that’s where the game actually gets fun, because it’s just her, her huge tits squeezed into that tight outfit, and whatever the hell is moving in the wet shadows around her. It’s horny, yeah, but also kind of gross in a good way, like watching a horror movie on Netflix while you keep pausing to check horny Reddit subs on your phone. The vibe is this weird mix of “I should not be turned on by this” and “ok but I absolutely am.” Tentacles slide in from the edges of the screen, you see something pulse behind a rock, then the game pretends to give you choices that feel important but really you’re just deciding which hole gets attention first.

The 2D art is AI assisted and you can kind of tell, but in this game it weirdly fits. Faces sometimes have that “too smooth to be real” thing and some fingers look like they’re not sure how many they want to be, but when it focuses on Jenny’s body it hits the right spots. Those big soft tits, the way her ass is framed when she’s crawling through a tight tunnel, the slimy shine on her skin when the cave things finally grab her... I was queuing tracks on Spotify like “okay, this scene is pure darkwave,” then suddenly I’m switching to some filthy bass-heavy techno because she’s getting wrapped up by a nest of tentacles and moaning like a pornstar on xHamster. The pacing is funny, too. You get one slow, teasing moment where she’s just brushing dirt off her chest and you’re like “alright, character building,” then two clicks later something from the ceiling is groping her through the shirt and the game never really looks back. I wish the dev would let one scene breathe longer, just once, let her struggle more before giving in, but I know that’s never happening and honestly that’s okay, this thing is clearly here for quick and dirty.

What surprised me most is how often it plays with angles. One moment you get a close-up of her scared face lit by the phone screen, the next it cuts to this low shot that is basically “here’s her ass, congrats.” Subtle like a truck. You get grabbed in a narrow passage, her legs pinned, tentacles coiling under her top, and there’s that awkward second where she still tries to act like she’s in control. Then you see her expression crack and it stops being horror and turns into that “oh fuck, this feels way too good” look. I liked how sometimes the cave feels almost like a horny character itself, like every wall is hiding something that wants to feel her curves. There’s one scene near a glowing pool where she leans in thinking it might be water, and the reflection is just her with these unreal perfect breasts, and then something in the pool reaches up and you already know what’s about to happen but you still click. It’s trashy, inconsistent, a bit cheap, but if your brain lives somewhere between Pornhub, creepy pasta stories, and weird hentai memes on Discord, it hits the exact wrong/right spot. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Lucio’s whole life is basically tits, cards, and terrible business decisions, and the game just throws you in the middle of that mess like “yeah, good luck, boss.” You’re this guy who somehow owns a brand new casino and has no idea how to not fuck it up. Every choice you make swings between “professional owner” and “degenerate perv” and the girls react to that. The casino feels like your hunting ground and your prison at same time. One minute you’re pretending to care about revenue and poker odds, next minute you’re staring at a redhead dealer trying to remember how to speak because her shirt keeps slipping lower every time you raise the bet. It’s very much a visual novel brain, so you’re clicking through dialogue, watching CGs pop up, choosing lines that range from smooth to “wow, I should be arrested for saying that.” The humor is stupid in a good way, like the game is constantly winking at you. It knows you’re here to see big tits and big asses bouncing around the poker tables, and it doesn’t try to be high art or some shit. The AI CGs sometimes look a little too clean, like the girls are models in some weird casino catalog, but that actually kinda works with the parody vibe.

What I liked most is that the “romance” is horny as hell but still feels like a slow burn, especially if you’re the type who plays solo and reads everything like it’s your personal soap opera. Teasing is the main dish here. Girls lean in close, whisper bullshit in your ear, bend over to pick up cards, pretend they don’t notice your eyes are stuck to their cleavage, then pull back right before you think “ok, now we fuck.” Clothing disappears step by step. First jacket, then the tight shirt, then the bra just slightly moved so you see the side of the nipple in one CG, then next scene she’s sitting in your lap in only panties talking about “raising the stakes” and you’re like yeah ok I guess productivity is dead today. I had one scene where I kept winning at poker against this stacked redhead, and every time she lost she had to remove something. The way the camera slowly goes lower, from her smug face to those heavy tits squeezed in a bra that’s absolutely losing the war, to her ass pressed against the chair, was way more exciting than just “here’s full nudity in 2 clicks.” And at the same time, sometimes the transitions between scenes are really abrupt, like you go from joking to almost sex in a single text box and it feels like the script skipped a page, but then she cracks a dumb joke about your “poker face” and it somehow fits again. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s half-romance half shameless strip show, and the whole casino feels like it exists only so Lucio can surround himself with a mini harem of big tit redheads and other walking distractions while pretending it’s all about the cards.

Red Brim feels like that horny visual novel you open “just to check it out for five minutes” and suddenly you’re deep into a sandbox loop, grinding money, checking every corner of the school and city, trying to see if that milf with the tight shirt bends over again in the hallway. You play as a male student with a camera, which sounds cliché, but the game actually leans into it. A lot of scenes start very soft, just you framing shots, testing lenses, doing boring point and click stuff on the PC in your room, then the dev hits you with some filthy option like “adjust her pose” and suddenly you’re groping a teacher’s huge tits while pretending it’s part of the photoshoot. It’s that kind of game where you start innocent and end up timing your mouse clicks to catch a voyeur shot through a slightly open door, watching a girl masturbate with a toy and trying not to miss the moment she starts biting her lip. The animations are simple but horny, with that AI CG look that’s sometimes a little weird around the fingers, but when you’re watching a titfuck in POV and her big boobs are bouncing in your face, you kinda stop caring. I like how the camera theme keeps popping up: sometimes you’re forced to choose between the “safe” shot and the nasty angle, like zooming in on a milf’s huge ass while she’s bending over a desk, and it actually changes what happens next. One scene in the school darkroom had me replay it three times, just so I could see all the variants of her slowly dropping to her knees and starting oral, framed like you’re doing “art”, but we both know you’re not thinking about composition at all.

The pacing is all over the place, and that’s half the charm and half the reason I yelled at my screen. You wander the school, click around the city map, run into this mysterious woman with that big red-brim hat, think it’s going to stay classy and romantic, and five minutes later you’re watching her push a vibrator between her legs while telling you to keep taking pictures. One time I went from a quiet dialogue about photography theory straight into a POV anal scene with almost no warning, just one horny dialogue branch and boom, she’s riding your dick, big ass clapping, you barely see her face because the camera angle is focused where it counts. There’s creampie all over the place too, which is nice, like the dev really understands that moment where you’re choosing where to finish. Inside, on her face, on her tits, on her back, sometimes the game lets you decide, sometimes it teases you and forces you to fill her up during vaginal sex and then stay for the tiny animation of it dripping out later. The sandbox part can get a bit grindy, clicking through days, checking the same classrooms, hoping a new event triggers, and one NPC’s route kinda annoyed me because the dialogue repeats too much, but then out of nowhere you unlock a new scene where she’s blowing you under a table and trying not to gag when you push deeper. It’s rough in spots, clunky sometimes, but then you hit something like watching a milf take your cock in anal while she records herself on your camera, dirty talk turned up, and you forget every little complaint you had ten minutes before. Actually, I was going to mention something about the sound design but I got distracted thinking about that bathroom voyeur scene where she thinks she’s alone, pulls her panties aside, and you’re just there, silently clicking, tracking every move. Whatever. You’ll figure it out.

Yuto is counting the days until he flies out, pretending to study vocabulary while actually staring at three very specific asses in his life. The landlady who leans over to collect rent with her huge tits squished in that too-tight cardigan. The older coworker who drills him at work, then accidentally brushes her soft thigh against his crotch in the break room. The convenience store manager who wears that prim uniform but bends over the low shelves like her pussy is begging for attention. All of them taken, all of them off-limits, all of them walking sex disasters. Ten days left before he leaves the country for good, so his brain just flips a switch and goes: fine, fuck it, farewell power-up. No consequences, no long-term awkwardness, just a horny sprint to see how far he can push each of them before his plane ticket cuts the scene.

The story plays out like a slow burn that suddenly remembers it wants to be filthy. Yuto starts with tiny things. A bit too-long eye contact when she leans in with her cleavage literally resting on his arm. A flirty reply where a normal guy would back off. Testing how far he can go with a "joke" about her panties riding up when she reaches for the top shelf. You poke through these choices, nudging him to be a polite good boy or a shameless little bastard. When you lean into the bastard side, the teasing escalates quick. The landlady letting him "help" with her back pain, which turns into groping her soft ass through thin yoga pants. The senior at work staying late with him in a tiny office, the air thick, her blouse slightly open, until her hand is under the desk around his cock while she pretends to explain paperwork. The manager locking the store after hours, the security shutters halfway down, letting him press her against the fridge while her boyfriend keeps calling and she just mutes the phone with shaking fingers.

Sex itself goes from kinda romantic to "oh, he really doesn’t care anymore" very fast, in a good way. One route has him licking her soaked pussy on the couch while she tries not to scream because her husband is asleep in the next room, his tongue working slow then fast as the CG shows her big tits bouncing slightly, nipples hard and shiny with sweat. Another path, you ram his dick into that perfect ass in a cramped stockroom, her skirt hitched up, her thong pulled aside, asshole stretched around him while she chokes on a moan and bites into his shoulder. There are moments where she rides him raw, bouncing on his lap until he loses it and floods her pussy, creampie dripping out in a sticky trail down her thigh while she whispers that she "can’t do this" and still keeps moving her hips. Blowjobs in a parked car, soft tongue circling the tip, messy handjobs under a blanket, toys buzzing deep inside them while they pretend to have normal conversations. The game loves that ugly, delicious cheating vibe: women glancing at their wedding rings, panting, then begging him not to stop. And the wild part is, some endings reward you for being selfish, some twist the knife with guilt, and a few pretend everything is fine while you both know it is absolutely not. The art is AI-smoothed but animated just enough that when her body shakes around his cock, you forget to care where the pixels came from. It is all about those last 10 days where goodbye is the excuse to put his cock exactly where it should never be.

Ash is a horny idiot in this one, and I mean that in a good way. The whole thing feels like someone took the old Pokémon anime, mixed it with a dumb meme thread from Reddit, then said “ok but what if it was all about fucking Sarena instead of catching anything.” You start as this slightly older Ash, already a trainer, already a bit cocky, but still dense as hell about romance. Sarena is glued to him, you can see she wants his dick from like the first scene, and he’s out here talking about training strategy while her skirt keeps riding higher. The game keeps playing with that contrast. One moment they’re arguing about which move is best for a gym fight, next scene she’s pressing him against a wall in some random Pokémon Center corridor and asking very clearly if he wants her. It sort of pretends to be wholesome romance for like one scene, and then the clothes just… vanish.

What caught me off guard is how the “puzzle” stuff is not really about brain work, it’s more like soft foreplay with extra steps. There’s one scene where you’re moving little icons around, matching types and moves, and the more correct chains you make, the more Sarena’s outfit changes. At first it’s just a jacket off, then stockings get ripped, then suddenly she’s in this insane lingerie that no normal trainer would wear outdoors. I actually got stuck on a really simple tile rotate thing because I was looking at her ass on the side panel, twitching every time the CG updated. It annoyed me so much because the rotation was like 90 degrees off and I kept misclicking, and the game never explains the rules properly, it just expects your horny brain to figure it out. Then, right after you finally solve it, the reward scene is Sarena pushing Ash down on the grass and riding him like he’s a mount, all while teasing him about being better at “other kinds of training.” That whole bit is ridiculously hot and also kind of stupid, in a good way. Or maybe not good, I’m not even sure.

Combat is there, but it’s basically foreplay with hit points. You pick moves, watch a short sequence, and the actual important part is that Sarena comments on how “worked up” he gets when he wins. There’s this one battle where if you choose a more reckless, high damage combo, Sarena later pins Ash to a tree and says she likes his aggressive side, then starts rubbing him through his pants while talking about strategy like nothing is happening. And if you play it safer in that same fight, she instead cuddles up in the tent afterward and slowly talks him into undressing, like a slow burn scene that suddenly turns filthy when she climbs on top and starts using her mouth first, then more. The game pretends your choices matter a lot, but actually the result is always Sarena getting fucked silly, only the route to reach that changes a bit. I loved that, and at the same time it made everything feel cheap, like “wow, my big moral choice just decides if she rides him facing forward or backward.” Still, when Ash finally grabs her hips and slams into her from behind while she’s half bent over her travel bag, moaning about how she doesn’t care about badges anymore, only him, I completely forgot I wanted something smarter from it. He is still a virgin idiot in some scenes, and somehow also a sex god in others, but whatever. It’s horny Pokémon parody brain, not science.