Harry’s last year at Hogwarts, and the war is over, but this thing is more like the horny epilogue nobody at Warner Bros would approve. You’re not the awkward kid anymore, you’re the guy who beat Voldemort and now just walks the castle with way too much confidence and way too much free time. The whole vibe is “what if those late night fanfics about Hermione got turned into a game and then the dev got distracted halfway through by puzzles and boobs.” It’s horny, clumsy, kind of broken in spots, and somehow that makes it hotter. You talk with Hermione, you poke at her, you push her, and slowly she goes from “prefect voice” to “okay fine but don’t tell anyone” and that slide is the real juice here. She’s still Hermione, always overthinking, always correcting you, even while her blouse gets more and more unbuttoned. It feels dirty in a very specific way, like you’re corrupting your own teenage nostalgia.

What sticks in my head is not even the titjob itself at first. It’s that moment you finally solve a stupid little puzzle just to unlock one more wardrobe item. I was on the bus, playing in browser on my phone, using Chrome like some degenerate, swearing in my native language because one riddle made no sense to me. Then suddenly, click, item unlocked, you go back to her and it’s like: “Oh. Oh, that changed a lot.” Her top a bit more see-through, her bra gone, or she’s pretending everything is normal while her nipples clearly are not normal anymore. One time I misclicked through her dialogue and skipped a line that probably explained a mood change, so it felt like she jumped from shy to “okay, take it out” too fast, but honestly that jank made it feel more like some messy student project you’re not supposed to see. The corruption is not super deep yet, more like a tease, flirting with the idea that Hermione is trying to stay the good girl while her chest ends up wrapped around your cock. The 3D look sells it in a weird way, too. Not perfect, not AAA, slightly stiff movements, but when her tits are sliding over you and she gives that half-annoyed, half-aroused expression, it kind of hits harder because it looks like a fan trying his best rather than some cold studio render.

When the titjob scene actually happens, it’s a slow burn that kind of pays off and kind of doesn’t, and I weirdly like that it doesn’t fully land. She’s there, kneeling or leaned close, pretending she’s only doing this as some kind of “deal,” still acting like she’s above all this filth, and you’re just watching those famous bookworm tits press together around your shaft. The camera angles linger more on her face than on your dick sometimes, which annoyed me but also made me focus on her reactions. Thanks, I hate it, I love it. There was one run where I spent way more time messing with a single wardrobe unlock than actually fapping, just because the puzzle was slightly too clever for my sleepy brain, and then when I finally got the payoff, my first thought was not “hot” but “this could be even filthier in the next update.” It feels like early access to someone’s personal fantasy, with all the rough edges still visible, and that makes the scenes with Hermione feel more intimate and trashy at the same time. You talk, you grind puzzles, you stare at sliders, and then suddenly you’re getting smothered by the smartest girl in Hogwarts using her breasts to jerk you off like it’s just another extra credit assignment she has to finish before exams.

This one feels like somebody took a messy soap opera about the neighbor block, put it in a blender with porn, then forgot to put the lid on. In a good way. You play this dude who is basically surrounded by walking trouble: thick schoolgirls in tight uniforms, a couple of milfs with asses that should be illegal, and that whole “totally not appropriate family thing” that adult games like to wink at while actually going all in on it. The game pretends to care about morals and jealousy and all that classy stuff, but then suddenly you are watching your own “relative” bend over at the kitchen sink and the only moral question is how many angles you can peek from. There is so much voyeur stuff going on that I literally caught myself leaning closer to my monitor like it would help. Curtain slightly open? You can see her in her room, lying on the bed, phone in one hand, the other slowly sliding under her shorts. The camera just sits there and lets the whole masturbation scene breathe, little movements, thighs tensing, belly soft and jiggly when she arches. It is not subtle at all and honestly I respect that.

What really hits my kawaii collector brain is how soft everything looks. The girls are not stick thin, they got round bellies when they sit down, big tits that spill out of bras, and those huge asses that stretch their skirts in the back so there is always that tiny shadow line under the fabric when they bend. Some of them have that smug smile and half-lidded eyes that scream “I know you are staring, perv” and yes, I was. The 3D style here is a bit rough sometimes, like you notice odd finger poses or weird shadows on a cheek, but it kind of makes it feel more… real? Like those amateur porn pics on old forums where the light is bad but the girl is crazy hot anyway. One scene in the school corridor, the protagonist “accidentally” bumps and his hand lands right on a big soft chest. You get this quick groping animation, her tits bounce once, her face goes from shocked to annoyed to flustered so fast it made me laugh. And right after, you are in this heavy talk about who cheated on who and who is using who for revenge. The story keeps pretending to be serious drama, but I was mostly there waiting to see which girl would snap and jump his bones next.

The neighborhood vibe works really well. You see the same characters from windows, from classrooms, from the street. One night I was just clicking around and noticed a faint light in a window. Zoomed in and, boom, one of the milfs on the sofa, skirt hiked, hand between her big thighs, watching some cheesy romance on TV and grinding slow against her own fingers. You can’t join, only watch, and somehow that made it spicier. There is humor too, kind of stupid but in a charming way: the protagonist making lame excuses, one of the older women calling him out on staring at her ass, then later clearly giving him “accidental” views in yoga pants. I only really got annoyed at the tiny stuff, like a character blinking too fast, or a pose that looks a bit stiff in the middle of a hot grope, but then the camera cuts to a close shot of a nipple pushing against thin fabric and I forget I was even complaining. To really enjoy it, I say play slowly, don’t rush the choices. Linger on the windows, check rooms at different times, and when a scene lets you just watch a girl touch herself, stop clicking for a bit and let it run. This game rewards being a patient, horny creep more than a speedrunner.

Bad day at work, opened this on my phone on the train, and suddenly my “just one scene” turned into me staring at thick asses and fake-innocent smiles while some bullied loser tries to fix his whole life with his dick and a few punches. It starts super basic: weak guy, school crap, bullies, lonely room, cheap phone, horny brain. You’ve seen it before. Except here, the girls actually feel like trouble. The first time that stacked teacher leans over the desk, her blouse barely holding those heavy tits, and she pretends she doesn’t notice your eyes glued to her cleavage? I actually paused, zoomed in like a pervert, then kept going. She’s the kind who scolds you about grades with that sweet voice, then lets her hand “accidentally” slide over your thigh and stay there a bit too long.

The game really likes slow build teasing. You’re not some sex god at the start, you’re this sad kid people push around in the hallway. Then one of the milfs gives you just a bit of kindness, sits too close on the couch, presses her huge ass on your leg, and suddenly you’re getting your first awkward handjob while she tells you to keep quiet because someone might walk in. She wraps her fingers around you and strokes so damn slow you want to scream, licking her lips like she’s thinking about more but holding back. Later on she stops holding back. There is this scene where she pulls you into a storage room, locks the door, kneels down in front of you, and starts sucking you while class is literally going on next door. Her lips slide down, tongue circling the tip, mascara a bit messy, you grabbing her hair without thinking. She chokes a little, looks up at you with wet eyes and a smug smile like “see, you’re not weak anymore.” That part stuck in my head the whole day, even when I was pretending to answer Slack messages.

But the game is kinda mean too. It keeps dangling thick thighs and big asses in your face, then cuts to fights, drama, training, whatever. One moment you’re buried between a girl’s tits, motorboating while she laughs and squeezes them around your cock, next moment you’re forced into some macho “prove your strength” scene. I actually hate the protagonist sometimes, he’s pathetic and hot at same time. When the popular girl with the tight skirt bends over in front of you in the empty classroom, you see her panties ride up between those cheeks, and instead of fucking her on the spot, you just… freeze. Later though, after you toughen up a bit, there’s this revenge kind of vibe: you pin her against the wall, her leg hooked around your hip, her ass bouncing against you with every thrust while she bites your shoulder to keep from screaming. She was teasing you for so long, and now she’s the one begging you not to stop. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s absolutely not subtle, and I still keep it installed on my phone even though I swear every week I’m done with hentai games.

Day starts kinda boring, you’re half scrolling Instagram, half thinking if it’s worth opening Steam or just YouTube again, and then this crazy shit drops in your lap: Ash busts in like a walking jumpscare, shouting about some luxury resort trip she “totally won.” No emails checked, no contract read, just vibes. Next thing, your stuff’s thrown in a bag and you’re headed to this rich-people playground that feels like someone mixed Pornhub categories with a corporate onboarding seminar. Everything looks too clean, too glossy, like the kind of place where the staff smiles a little too wide while pretending they don’t see you eye-fucking every milf around the pool.

The game does that thing where it lets you pick who you wanna be, and it actually matters a bit, not just a haircut swap. Different angles on the same messed up little paradise. Sometimes you’re the guy who can’t stop staring at his “aunt’s” ass while she bends over her suitcase, sometimes you’re catching your “sister” in the shower through a half-fogged glass panel and pretending you’re just “checking the water.” Yeah, it leans hard into that fake family taboo, like those sketchy Pornhub titles that autoplay when you just wanted a normal blowjob video. There’s a lot of quiet moments too, just you sitting in a fancy room, scrolling through some in-game phone app, pretending to be innocent while actually planning how to corrupt everyone around you, one accidental touch at a time.

What I kinda love, but also kinda hate, is how the resort itself acts like it’s on your side. Cameras everywhere. Doors that don’t fully close. Windows you can “accidentally” peek through. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to go to some “relaxation session,” but if you mess around instead and follow the wrong hallway, you end up watching a full-on handjob through a tinted glass wall, your reflection overlaid on their bodies like you’re already part of it. The game doesn’t treat voyeurism like some small side thing, it just keeps pushing it: late night spying on a milf in her room, catching her playing with herself on the edge of the bed, big tits half out, moaning into a pillow while you’re stuck on the other side of the door with your dick hard, deciding if you’re gonna walk in or run. When you finally get physical, it’s that clumsy but hot progress: “accidental” groping at the pool, fingers sliding over a big ass while she pretends not to notice, her hand brushing your crotch a little too long in the elevator, then later she’s on her knees, giving slow wet oral that turns into messy, animated thrusting. Vaginal, oral, handjobs, all that, nothing shy, bodies moving, everything animated enough to feel alive but not super polished Marvel CGI. People talk while you’re fucking too, which I like. Dirty little lines, shy protests that melt into moans, that kind of thing. It’s horny, a bit toxic, kinda wrong, and yeah, that’s the point.

Eric is the kind of guy you walk past ten times and never really notice. Quiet, normal, owns a cozy little coffee shop, same playlist every day, shirts that probably came in a pack of three. Then suddenly his life turns into the kind of shit you only see on those late night Patreon posts. One moment he’s cleaning cups, trying not to burn the croissants again, next moment there’s this gorgeous girl leaning over the counter with her tits about to escape from her top, asking about “special blends” in a tone that has nothing to do with coffee. And he thinks it’s just a flirty customer. It’s not. It’s the warm up.

What I like is how slow it pretends to be at first. You get all this teasing, these small moments where a hand lingers too long, a skirt rides up when she sits, someone “accidentally” brushes against his crotch in that tiny storage room that doesn’t even look big enough to fit two people but somehow fits a girl on her knees. There’s one scene early where Eric is closing shop, and one of the girls stays behind. She’s helping wipe the tables, bends over just a bit too far, and you see the curve of that big ass under her skirt. It doesn’t jump straight to fucking, she starts asking him weird questions about “other realms” while she slowly runs her finger around the rim of his coffee cup, and you can feel he’s half confused, half hard as a rock. I wish more games paced the build like this. Except later it just throws subtlety out the window and you’re balls deep in a monster girl on a couch that definitely isn’t health code approved.

Once the non-human side starts showing, it gets fun in this horny, slightly dumb way. There’s the moment one girl reveals she’s not exactly human in the middle of a blowjob. She’s under the table, Eric is trying to keep talking to a customer, and then her tongue suddenly feels a little too long, a little too strong, wrapping around his shaft while she keeps sucking. He’s sweating, trying not to moan, the customer is rambling about milk alternatives, and you just know he’s about to cum in the worst possible timing. Then you see her real form later and think, yeah ok, I’d still fuck that. Some of the bodies are ridiculous in the best porn logic: huge tits that bounce even when they breathe, thick thighs that look like they could crush him if she rides too hard, asses that fill half the screen when she climbs on top. There’s a nice mix of soft romance and “I need your dick right now” energy too. One girl wants slow, deep, almost tender vaginal sex on his bed after a long talk, kissing him and holding his face while she sinks down on him. Another one climbs into his lap in the back room, pulls his cock out, spits on it, and starts grinding like she hasn't seen a man in a century. Sometimes it leans into the emotional stuff, with Eric really trying to understand what these girls are, where they come from, how his quiet little world suddenly got teeth and claws and horny eyes. Then other times it just goes straight to her sitting on his face, using him like a toy, and the “plot” takes a nap. At some point you realize the coffee shop is basically a front for a harem of supernatural trouble, and if you’re anything like me, you keep clicking anyway, pretending you care about lore while actually waiting to see who sucks him off next.

Memory comes back to you like a drunk kiss in a dark alley: rough, confusing, kind of hot, kind of scary. You wake up in this ugly-beautiful world that smells of steel, sweat and wet soil, and the first thing you see is her. Big soft tits leaning over you, hair falling like a curtain, lips moving, voice low, asking your name while you’re still staring down her cleavage instead of answering. The game doesn’t rush, it just lets you sit there in that POV angle, eyes level with her neckline, while she talks about war and kingdoms and you’re thinking about everything except politics. It feels dirty in a slow way, like fingers sliding under a shirt when no one is in a hurry. Then suddenly you’re walking through a camp where men scream and banners burn, and the same woman acts like nothing happened, like she didn’t just wake you by practically smothering you with her chest. That little emotional whiplash is half of the charm here. Or half of the problem. Hard to say.

What surprised me is how often your dick has to wait while your brain does some work. You click around in this point and click wandering, poking at tents, broken carts, blood stains, talking to people who all want something. Then the game throws you into turn based combat out of nowhere, and for a moment you almost forget there is sex at all, until after you win and she thanks you with her mouth in a quiet corner, on her knees, your view locked right in POV as her lips stretch around you. There’s this scene where you finish a dungeon, half dead, armor cracked, and the other love interest, colder, sharper, with that perfect body that looks like it was made to be pressed against a stone wall, just grabs you by the collar and drags you into a ruined chapel. She talks about strategies and sides in the war while stroking you lazily with her hand, like it’s nothing, like you’re just another weapon she oils before a battle. I hated how sometimes the teasing goes on too long, how the game lets you wander three screens clicking empty barrels instead of pushing you back into her arms, but then that slow pace makes it hotter when it finally breaks and she drops to all fours, back arched, tits swinging while you pound her from behind as if the whole world outside is burning. Which it kind of is, with all that graphic violence splattered around, heads split, bodies on spikes, and then suddenly you’re in a tent with soft candlelight, her lips shiny with spit and your cum, talking about who you should support in this stupid war like it’s pillow talk.

I liked that the male protagonist is not some mute wall of muscles, he throws small comments, gets confused, sometimes sounds like a horny idiot who pretends he cares more about honor than about getting his dick sucked, and that feels very real. I had this one moment where I chose to help some poor bastard on the roadside, and it turned into a bloody mess, cut throats, dark magic, and afterward one of the girls looked at me like I was her personal hero, slid under my cloak and started slow oral right there behind a broken wagon, while the sky glowed red from burning villages. It aroused me and also annoyed me because the controls in that scene felt fiddly, like the cursor just refused to land where I wanted, and I kept thinking about that instead of focusing on the way her tongue moved. But then she looked up with cum on her lips and laughed, and I forgot my little complaints for a while. The world feels heavy, any step might drag you into another fight, another dungeon, another choice about who lives, who dies, who gets to ride your cock in a dirty cave with echoes of moans mixing with screams from somewhere far away. It all tastes like metal and sex, like sweat on bare skin under armor, like being torn between going home or staying just one more night in this cursed place because you want to see her on top again, tits bouncing in rhythm with the turn based beating of your enemies outside the tent. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Guy wakes up from a nasty bike crash, his girl is dead, his body is somehow fine, his head is a mess. He thinks: new city, new university, new life, forget everything. Of course it goes to shit immediately. You’re walking into this school full of tight uniforms and way too short skirts, trying to act normal, and the game keeps reminding you that you shouldn’t even be alive. You’re this mix of horny and broken, which is honestly relatable after a long workday when your brain is mush but your dick still loads Chrome by muscle memory. One moment you’re in class pretending to take notes, next moment you’re staring at the teacher’s blouse and the little gap between buttons, then some creepy flicker in the corner of the screen like reality just hiccuped. It plays with that switch a lot: you’re laughing at a dumb joke, then suddenly you remember your dead girlfriend’s voice and the whole scene turns weirdly cold.

The sex stuff hits slow at first. Lots of teasing, legs crossing, girls leaning way too close, that kind of cocky flirting where you’re not sure if they’re into you or just bored. The milf professor who “cares about your trauma” but sits on the desk so you can see the shape of her ass in that tight skirt. A classmate who sends you a “homework question” pic that absolutely is not safe for study group. There’s a scene where you’re stuck in a stairwell during a fire drill, watching a girl change her shirt through this tiny glass window, and you can back out like a decent human or keep watching while she slips off her bra and you see those huge tits bounce, and the game actually reacts to that choice later. Handjob behind the gym after practice, messy blowjob in a parked car while some weird shadow moves in the background like something else is watching both of you. That part hit hard, because you’re trying to focus on her tongue and the little spit strings and instead your brain is like “hey remember your dead girl, remember her throat taking you, remember the blood”. It’s horny and fucked up at the same time and the game doesn’t try to clean it.

The best part and also the most annoying is how often it lets you be an asshole or a softie and both feel wrong. You flirt with this shy girl who clearly has a crush, she’s clumsy, big ass in those tight jeans, and you can push her into stripping for you in some empty classroom. It’s hot, she’s blushing, slowly pulling her panties to her knees, you can see a bit of her wetness catching the light, and your guy still flashes to his ex lying broken on the road. Romantic route tries to happen, but the world keeps glitching, you keep seeing that accident, and sometimes the game hits you with graphic stuff out of nowhere, like a quick shot of torn skin or crushed helmet, just long enough to kill your boner for a second. Talking to the milf in her office about “moving on” turns into her on her knees, stroking you slow, asking if you’re thinking of her or the girl who died, and you almost want to close the tab, but of course you don’t. I wish the pacing wasn’t so jumpy sometimes, like it goes from goofy meme humor in group chat to “oh look, maybe something supernatural wants you dead” in two clicks, but then I’m sitting on public transport with one earbud half in, pretending to read emails, watching a fully animated sex scene where you pin a girl against a dorm wall and fuck her raw while her phone flashlight keeps turning on and off. And in the reflection of the window behind you, there’s something standing there, just looking. You finish anyway.

You start out broke, horny, and honestly kind of useless. A futa drifter with nothing but a lazy streak and way too much libido, somehow stumbling into this weird-ass job at a place called Paradise. The name sounds cheesy until you realize it’s literally a building stuffed with girls from other worlds - some have tails, some have dicks, some just have that look like they know exactly what you’re thinking before you say it. You don’t do much at first. Walk around, chat, make bad choices. The kind of slow burn that feels like foreplay stretched over lazy afternoons. The world doesn’t rush you; it teases.

The demo’s short as hell, but it’s got this strange charm - like someone’s dirty dream half-coded into existence. You talk to three women (each hotter than the last, in their own freaky way), and there’s one full-on sex scene that goes harder than expected for such an early build. It’s not just the tits or the sweat or the sound of skin slapping - though, yeah, that’s there - it’s how close it gets to feeling personal. You’re not a faceless camera; you’re inside the mess, in first person, every grunt echoing right behind your ribs. The POV work’s filthy and intimate without trying too hard, which is rare for these kinds of games.

What sticks in my head though? Not the sex (well, not only). It’s the weird cozy tone under all that filth. Like a broken rom-com that accidentally grew a pair. You can feel the dev wanted to make something more than just a jerk tool. The characters flirt like real people - awkward, messy, a little too forward - and then go straight into positions that’d break a spine. One girl talks about love while she’s still dripping on your thigh. It’s janky, it’s short, it’s kinda dumb, but it’s got heart. The dirty kind. The kind that makes you grin when you realize you’ll come back for the next update just to see who else moves into Paradise.

Christmas porn games usually feel like cheap tinsel, right? Bright, loud, gone in one click. This one is more like walking into a cozy cabin, then realizing the walls are padded for all the wrong reasons. You start with Bridgette doing that desperate housewife routine, all dressed up in a tight little Santa outfit that honestly looks more like she lost half of it on the way home. She’s trying to fix her boring, dead-bedroom marriage to Mark, this sweaty gamer husband who cares more about his screen than her actual pussy sitting five meters away. She wiggles into lingerie, does the “surprise honey” thing, and you can feel how awkward it is when he barely looks up. That part kind of hurt in a real way, actually. You get these little idle moments where she’s pacing the cabin, horny, annoyed, talking to herself, stripping layer by layer, and you’re just waiting for something to snap. And it does, but not how she planned. That crash downstairs? Total shift in mood. One second it’s silent-night sad, next second it’s “oh, fuck, we’re not in Hallmark land anymore”.

The fantasy kicks in fast after that, like the game suddenly rips off the cozy sweater and throws it in the fire. The dudes who show up feel like some fucked up mix of Santa’s helpers and home invasion crew, full-on male domination vibe from the first grab. There’s no romance, no slow build, just “you dressed like a slutty Santa, you’ll get used like one”. You don’t sit through long tutorials or any of that bullshit. One moment she’s arguing in her head about Mark, next moment she’s on her knees with a dick shoved in her mouth, mascara already wrecked, trying to talk and gagging instead. The 3D models sell it pretty well, honestly. Her body reacts, she twitches, you see the panic mix with that fucked up arousal the game leans into. Group scenes come in quick, like they all agreed the safe word is “not tonight” and then ignored it on purpose. You get those classic shots of her pinned on the table, Christmas lights half wrapped around her, one guy buried in her throat while another is pounding her bare pussy so hard the whole screen feels like it’s moving. Creampies are front and center: thick, messy, sometimes they don’t even pull out, just hold her hips down and fill her like she actually is that Christmas turkey. And then a third dude lines up. At some point there’s this ridiculous bit where they joke about stuffing her stockings and it made me laugh even while she was getting used like a toy.

What I liked is that it doesn’t pretend to be “nice”. There’s this dirty little grin in the whole thing, like the game knows it’s wrong and plays with it. The dark humor hits in weird moments, like Bridgette trying to keep some dignity while someone wipes cum off her cheek with a Santa hat. Or Mark still half-ignoring everything, headphones on, while in the other room his wife is choking on cock and taking hard vaginal pounding like a free Christmas bonus. Sometimes it’s hot as hell, sometimes it feels a bit too much, sometimes both at the same time. Gangbang setup is pretty straightforward but the details keep it fun: one guy smacking her ass red while another pulls her hair back so she has to look up while she’s getting used. Her moans change, there’s those little broken sounds when they push too deep or hold her too long on a cock, and you see the moment she just gives in and stops pretending she isn’t enjoying parts of it. They use her mouth, her pussy, talk about “ruining” her for her useless husband, and it kind of works too well. I do wish there was one tiny moment of slow sex just for contrast, but that’s never happening here. It stays rough, filthy, and group-focused from the first grab to the last sticky drip running out of her. Not subtle, not soft, just Christmas on hard mode.

This one hits different because the main guy is supposed to be a clown, but he literally can’t lie. Not even a tiny white one. So you’re walking around this fucked up city that worships fake smiles and cheap jokes, and every time you open your mouth, you just drop brutal honesty like a sledgehammer. People ask if their ass looks big and he’s like, “Yeah, it does, and it’s distracting in a good way,” and suddenly the whole scene goes sideways. The comedy isn’t just there for memes, it actually drives the porn. Half the lewd moments start because you said something too real, too sharp, and someone decides to punish you or reward you for it. It’s like watching a stand-up show that slowly mutates into a hentai, but the punchlines are basically social suicide. You’ve got this harem orbit forming around a dude who’s bad at pretending, which is kind of hilarious because every other game in this genre is about smooth talk and here you’re just blurting out the raw shit no normal person would admit.

The women are ridiculous in the best, trashy way. Big tits that look like they’re about to punch gravity in the face, asses so huge you start wondering about back pain, monster girls that belong in someone’s cursed browser history. There’s this one monster girl scene where she asks if you’re scared of her claws and instead of doing the usual “wow you’re so beautiful” routine, he tells her she looks like a horny nightmare from a hentai subreddit. She goes quiet for a second, blushes, then climbs on top of him with this “oh, you think that’s scary?” vibe and suddenly you’re watching her ride him like she’s trying to erase reality. Simple choices like “tell the nice lie” or “tell the ugly truth” keep turning into either humiliation, rough affection, or masturbation scenes where he’s just furiously jerking off while overthinking everything he said that day. I actually hated how often the game makes you click through his internal monologue in those jerk-off scenes, but then I kinda liked it because it feels like watching a clown take the makeup off while still stroking his dick. The pacing’s weird too, like eating a cake that keeps switching between chocolate and chili without warning, but when it hits a good stretch of comedy with sex right behind it, it absolutely works. Some of the parody gags feel like they’re trying too hard, like that one bit that’s clearly riffing on superhero movies and drags a little, yet a few minutes later there’s a romance moment where a girl with a massive ass sits on his lap, asks him what he really thinks of her, and you pick the blunt answer. She stares, cheeks go red, then quietly grinds on him until you both forget there was ever a joke in the scene to begin with.