Doctor Doom down bad is honestly a whole mood. In this thing he is not the cool comic book villain planning galaxy brain strategies, he is basically a horny bastard who lost everything and now crawls back up by breaking girls one by one. You start small, like some sleazy trainer that somehow still thinks in monologues from Shakespeare, then bit by bit you are twisting minds, ruining heroes, and turning half the Marvel city into your personal sex zoo. The witch Ratri shows up, gives him this Dominium power that lets him push into people’s heads, and from there it is just corruption porn all the way down. You go from “please don’t touch me” to “yes master, more” with a few clicks and some dirty little scenes that feel like reading a fucked up comic scan you definitely should not have on your phone at work but you do anyway.

What really hit me is how the girls are not just random nobodies. It is all the ones I crushed on when I was younger and scrolling through fanart on DeviantArt like a creep. Susan Storm acting all proper at first, then doing anal in a cheap motel because Doom pushed just the right mental button. Black Widow trying to be stoic super spy while she is on her knees, gagging on his cock, pretending she still has control. Firestar going from bright hero to street-level whore, selling her body off because you nudged her into prostitution and then watched the gangbang through some camera like a full on voyeur. One playthrough I had Jessica Jones drunk, swearing at Doom while he has her hands tied, using her anyway, mixing that rough *** fantasy with this bitter, sad energy that honestly hit me way harder than I expected in a porn game. You flick between almost playful teasing, like a handjob under the table while the Fantastic Four are in the same room, to ugly stuff like blackmail, mind control, and using them as slaves, and the game never stops to ask if you are a good person. It just shrugs and says “you clicked it, bro.”

Sometimes the pacing is weird and the point and click stuff makes me feel like an idiot, hunting for the one pixel that actually progresses the scene while Doom is supposed to be this genius. One time I spent ages trying to trigger a Madame Hydra event and ended up stuck with Lucia von Bardas and some half-finished blowjob loop that made me want to throw my phone. The animations are janky in spots, yet then you hit a sequence with Silk stripping, tongue out, stroking him with her ass, and suddenly you forget every complaint. Delila and Mockingbird show up and I swear the game just kind of laughs at continuity, but whatever, they get naked, they get corrupted, they get used. There is this one voyeurism bit where you watch Mary Jane and Black Cat fool around while Doom just toys with them like dolls, then later you drag them into full swinging and they do it because you rewired them, not because they wanted it. If you are lonely and horny and a little broken, the whole thing feels like someone dipped your Marvel crushes in gasoline and lit a match. It is trashy, cruel, weirdly funny, and sometimes I hate myself while clicking, but I still keep going back, like Doom himself learning nothing at all.

Inosuke getting dropped into this “mysterious town” feels like someone took Demon Slayer, put it through Pornhub search history, and decided, yeah, let’s make that a life. You walk around this quiet place where everyone is pretending nothing is wrong, but the vibe is so horny it’s basically fog. People talk about “strange events” and “legends” but half the time you’re just thinking, ok, which busty demon or milf doctor or smug slayer girl is going to drag his dick into trouble next. It’s a sandbox, so you’re not pushed in a straight tunnel. You wander, poke your nose where you shouldn’t, trigger scenes by accident, and suddenly you’re watching some demon girl with huge tits riding Inosuke so hard her eyes go full ahegao and the text box is just moans and “more” spam. What really hits is how casual the lewd is. You can be walking past some house, talking about “shared secrets”, then boom, fade, and now your boar-headed idiot is balls-deep in someone that would get most gacha games banned from the app store in five minutes.

The fun part is how the game treats all those familiar girls from the series. Mitsuri is exactly as dangerous and sweet as you expect, except the camera cannot stay away from her huge ass for more than two seconds. Shinobu looks calm and teasing and then talks to Inosuke like he’s a toy to experiment on, clinically, while she’s jerking him off on a bed she definitely uses for “medical research”. Nezuko showing up is this mix of “oh shit fan favorite” and “ok yeah this is absolutely fanart that escaped from Pixiv and learned to walk”. Then you have Tamayo being all elegant and soft, inviting, with that slow, almost motherly rhythm when she rides him in one scene that honestly felt more intimate than anything, until the dialogue reminds you she’s still hiding something huge from him and you’re basically fucking on top of lies. I use Auto Clicker on my phone to skip grind in a lot of games and I swear, here I kept pausing it just to read how they wrote the dirty talk, even when the English gets a bit weird and clunky. It actually matches my own dumb level of grammar in a good way, like talking dirty in your second language and not caring if verbs are correct as long as the dick is.

There is this one alley encounter with Daki that kind of sold the whole town for me. She acts annoyed, like he is a bug, and you think, ok, she’ll torment him, maybe humiliate him, but the scene flips into this nasty, aggressive vaginal pounding where she’s the one losing control, clawing his back and ranting about his stupid body while she trembles. Her face goes full broken ahegao, tongue out, and the game just leaves it hanging with no big plot payoff, just a memory you can replay later. Honestly, the biggest problem for me is how the sandbox sometimes feels like you’re circling the same spots waiting for the next sex flag to trigger, and there isn’t much actual “RPG” beyond moving, talking and getting new scenes. You keep hearing about legends and secrets like some big mystery, but when the option appears to just ignore it and keep fucking everyone in town, the game laughs and kind of pushes you in that direction anyway, like “yeah, detective work is cool, but have you considered raw demon pussy”. I got stuck once because one character only shows at a weird time of day and I kept missing her, and it pissed me off more than any boss in a normal game, but I never looked up a guide. I just wandered, talked, and ended up in a random room where Hinatsuru was on all fours, and Inosuke behind her, using her ass like he was trying to kill a demon with his cock. At that point the whole “mysterious town” plot is just background noise for one simple thing: every corner hides another excuse to watch this idiot protagonist fuck his way through the cast like the series was always meant to go that direction and the anime just chickened out.

Man, this One Punch Man parody hits different than I expected. You're playing as some wannabe hero trying to climb the rankings while dealing with Tatsumaki and other monster girls who are way more interested in fucking than fighting. The whole thing starts innocent enough - you're doing typical RPG stuff, training stats, picking dialogue options - but then suddenly you're getting handjobs from green-haired psychics and the game's asking if you want to use toys during combat encounters.

The turn-based system is weird because sometimes you're actually fighting monsters and sometimes you're just trying not to cum too fast during sex scenes. Like there's this one part where I'm battling some creature and the next screen I'm balls deep in her getting a creampie scene. The transitions don't make much sense but honestly who cares when Tatsumaki's giving you that look. Though I gotta say the humor lands pretty well - they nail that OPM vibe where everything's simultaneously serious and completely ridiculous. The protagonist's this skinny virgin type who keeps getting into situations way over his head, which tracks for the source material.

What threw me off was how the transformation stuff works - characters change during scenes but it's not always clear why or when it'll happen. One minute you're talking to a normal-looking girl, next she's got tentacles or whatever and you're doing anal. The masturbation mechanics feel tacked on too, like they needed to hit certain tags but didn't know how to integrate them naturally. Still, when it works it really works - the oral scenes with monster girls are genuinely hot and the whole "hero ranking" thing gives you actual goals beyond just seeing titties. Plus the parody elements mean you're not taking any of it too seriously, which helps when the plot gets completely bonkers.

You’re not the destined hero here, you’re the guy who looked at the Leaf Village and thought, “Yeah, I’m going to fuck this place sideways using psychology, chakra tricks, and pure horny persistence.” The whole thing plays like a sleazy side story that someone cooked up after binging too much Naruto on Crunchyroll and then opening Ren’Py instead of touching grass. You start small, with the “nice” girls who are already around you all the time: Sakura trying to act mature and responsible, Hinata blushing at every breath, Ino pretending she’s not secretly dying for attention, Tenten stuck in permanent side-character mode. They’re not just thrown at you naked from the start. You grind for openings, build fake trust, tease, push boundaries in little scenes, then line up the exact moment to hit them with your control trick and watch the lights go out and the slut switch flip on. First they argue, then they obey, then they help you hunt bigger prey.

The game feels like a trashy mix of visual novel, mobile gacha brainrot, and those old Flash hentai parodies people used to share on shady forums. You’re clicking through dialogue, picking options, saving scum after you say something dumb to Sakura and she shuts you down, then reloading to say the smooth line that gets you closer to her panties. One moment you’re doing “innocent” training sessions with Hinata, your hands “accidentally” on her hips too long, her voice trembling. Next moment she’s on her knees, eyes glazed, deepthroating you because you told her it would make her a better kunoichi. The corruption is slow at first. A handjob she swears is “only this once,” a sneaky grope in the hot springs, a titfuck with Sakura in the hospital storage room while she tries and fails not to moan, the first anal scene with a girl who swore she’d never do that. The game really likes that shift from “no, I shouldn’t” to “please fuck me harder, master” and it milks it in almost every route. Sometimes too much, honestly, but then it throws in group scenes and my brain forgets to complain.

Later on, when the smaller fish are already your toys, it gets nastier in a fun way. You start using them like tools to crack the “big” women: Tsunade, Shizune, Anko, Kurenai, all that juicy sensei energy. There’s this messed up satisfaction when Tsunade, who usually is all attitude and power, ends up on her knees, covered in cum, with Sakura smiling behind her like a good little puppet you trained. Same with Ino using her mind tricks under your orders to drag other girls into a lesbian scene, pretending it’s “training” while you watch and decide when to join in. The game jumps between solo corruption, rough sex with ropes and toys, and messy harem situations where everyone’s sharing your cock, licking each other clean, getting filled one after another until you lose track of who got creampied where. Sometimes it leans more into *** and mind control and it gets really dark, sometimes it turns into goofy fanservice with Tsunade’s tits bouncing like they are made in Unreal Engine with no constraints. It’s not subtle, it’s not classy, and it absolutely doesn’t want to be. This is straight up Leaf Village brainwashing porn where every kunoichi, from shy virgin to strict medic to smug weapons girl, eventually ends up bent over for you, dripping, obedient, and ruined.

Lazuli is that kind of protagonist you usually see as a side joke in hentai: horny mad scientist, weird potions, zero moral brakes. Here she’s the center of everything, and the whole game just leans into that idea of “what if a futa alchemist decided the world is her test lab and every girl she likes is a guinea pig with tits.” The Cumcoction is her proud invention, but it behaves more like a jealous deity than a simple drug. One drop and a shy virgin trainer girl suddenly starts grinding on a table corner; a proud swordswoman wakes up from “just a drink” with hazy memories, cum leaking out of her ass, and a faint sense that she liked it way too much. The story keeps this strange mix of silly and fucked‑up: Lazuli talks about alchemy like a nerd who reads too many grimoires, but then she’s also the same maniac who will jerk off behind a curtain, whispering little comments while a corrupted Hinata worships her cock with both hands and mouth, drool everywhere, eyes shining with that brainwashed devotion hentai artists love so much. Scenes go from goofy experimentation to really mean stuff: blackmail with magically recorded voyeur footage, “accidental” sleep sex justified with bullshit pseudo‑science, and that slow corruption arc where proud heroines from worlds like Naruto, My Hero Academia, Dragon Ball, Fairy Tail, One Piece or Pokémon tumble down from “No, never” to “Fine, just my hand” to “Why does it feel empty when you pull out?” without even noticing how far they fell.

What makes it weirdly charming is how inconsistent Lazuli is as a character. One moment she’s doing an almost tender titfuck with someone like Nico Robin, clearly enjoying the shape of those big soft breasts, carefully smearing cum on them like she’s painting. Next moment she’s using transformation tricks so suddenly Serena or Nessa find themselves with a fat new cock between their legs, panic mixing with arousal while Lazuli explains in that smug voice how “temporary” it is, then pushes them into group sex anyway. The game uses that 2D and 3D mix in a dirty way: sometimes you get a short animated loop of a character like Erza or Android 18 taking anal, her ass bouncing and jiggling, and then it cuts back to static art for the aftermath, thick creampie dripping while Lazuli notes something in her research book. It feels like a porn lab notebook: handjob success rates, mind control side effects, level of groping tolerated before resistance drops. There are cute slices of perv life too, like Lazuli just watching Nami and Lillie masturbate separately under a subtle spell, legs shaking, completely unaware they’re being observed like experimental mice, or a harem scene where Kushina, Hinata and Sarada end up sharing the same futa cock, half from drugged lust, half from Lazuli’s shameless manipulation. The tone never fully decides if this is still “fun” corruption or already full damnation, and honestly that’s what keeps it interesting: you’re stuck in that sticky line where fantasy, mind control, blackmail, anal, vaginal, sleep sex, creampies, big tits, big asses, all blend together into one long, filthy project of turning every famous girl in anime into Lazuli’s personal property, catalogued, studied, and thoroughly fucked.

You start as this smug bastard who already turned Tsunade into his personal toy some years ago, and the game just treats that like normal Tuesday. No big drama, just “yeah, she’s mine now, what’s next.” That already tells you the tone. You’re not here to be a hero. You’re basically weaponizing mind control to build your own village with a harem of kunoichi from everywhere, and the story is very honest about it. The vibe is closer to some fucked-up fan doujin than a “proper” visual novel, which I liked way more than I should. It looks simple at first, just text and 2D scenes, but the scenes are animated enough that when Hinata drops to her knees and you order her to “prove loyalty with her mouth,” it actually hits. There’s this one early scene where you test your improved technique on Kurenai, and you see that moment her eyes glaze over, her whole serious-jonin act just melts, and you can push her from “I’ll never obey you” to “should I use my tits or my tongue first, Master?” with like two choices. It’s wrong, it’s hot, and then it’s somehow even more wrong.

The funny thing is, the corruption is not even subtle. You charm, you push, then you flip the mental switch and suddenly someone like Temari, who normally would snap your neck, is awkwardly trying to give you a footjob because you told her this is “Sand Village protocol.” She complains, you tease, a bit of groping, and then the animation kicks in and she’s rubbing your dick with her toes while her face is this perfect mix of pissed and turned on. I kinda loved that. And then I hated how sometimes the pacing just dies between scenes for no reason. You get a brutal gangbang-style group sex setup with Mei and Samui on their knees, Tsunade in the back stroking you with her tits, creampie after creampie, and then the next bit of story is just walls of text about politics, like I didn’t just watch the Mizukage drooling on a cock that is technically controlling her brain. The game likes to drop you from intense anal with Ino straight into talky exposition about “support from other villages” and I kept wanting to yell at my phone. Yes, I’m on a bus, yes, I’m reading about Sakura getting her virginity stolen in a storage room behind Ichiraku, I have no shame, but at least keep the horny flow going, you know?

What I keep coming back to is how it handles power. It’s not romantic at all. You’re the guy who already broke Tsunade and now treats her like living proof that your technique works. At one point you use her as a demonstration, ordering her to lick Ayame clean after you finish inside her, like you’re showing off a trained pet. It’s fucked, but the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. The male domination is heavy, there’s BDSM flavor, and the harem thing isn’t some fluffy family vibe, it’s more like “these girls belong to my new village, and by village I mean my dick.” One moment you’re forcing Karin to ride you until she passes out, the next you’re making Hinata and Tenten play with toys on each other while you sit back and decide who gets your cum. Lesbian scenes feel like you’re watching puppets you pulled strings on, especially with the mind control touches, and I mean that as praise and also as a bit of a “Jesus Christ, dude.” There’s a corruption route where a girl who starts shy and stubborn ends up begging for anal, asking you to mark her womb, and you realize the game quietly shifted from teasing handjobs to full-on harem breeding fantasy. It pretends to be “just” a parody, but after a while, you’re in too deep to call it that with a straight face.

You know what hits different? Getting thrown back in time with mysterious powers and realizing you can basically mind-fuck every hot kunoichi in the village. This Naruto parody doesn't mess around - we're talking full corruption gameplay where you're turning Hinata, Tsunade, Sakura and basically every woman with a headband into your personal harem. The Saru character gives you these clan abilities that let you dominate minds, and honestly the power fantasy is pretty addictive. Though I gotta say the interface feels clunky sometimes when you're trying to navigate between different girls.

What really gets me going is how they handle the corruption mechanics. You're not just collecting waifus like Pokemon cards - there's actual progression where you break down their resistance bit by bit. Kushina starts all motherly and protective but by the end she's begging for it. Same with Kurenai who goes from stern sensei to cock-hungry slut. The sex scenes hit hard too - we got everything from vanilla creampies with virgin Hinata to hardcore BDSM sessions with Anko. Tsunade's titfuck scenes are chef's kiss, and don't get me started on the lesbian content between some of the girls. Wait actually the lesbian stuff feels kinda forced compared to the male domination routes.

The visual novel format works well enough though some of the animated sequences stutter on mobile. You're basically working through different story arcs, tracking down key kunoichi and adding them to your growing collection of followers. Temari's anal scenes are surprisingly detailed, and they really went all out with the footjob content featuring characters like Shizune. The *** elements might be too intense for some players but that's kinda the whole point of the corruption theme. My only real complaint is how Karin's route feels rushed compared to others, but whatever - there's enough content here to keep you busy for weeks.

Ninja Island feels like somebody mashed together a horny doujin circle, an old GBA-era RPG and a browser porn tab they forgot to close, then said “yeah ok ship it”. In a good way, mostly. You start as this not-very-subtle male ninja, dumped on an island where every other ninja girl looks like she escaped from some crossover Discord server: big tits, tight outfits that are basically one sneeze away from falling off, and that whole “I could kill you or ride you” vibe. There’s a story about some secret technique and rival clans, but honestly the real plot is “how many ways can you get these kunoichi naked without immediately dying”. The game kind of knows that, and leans into it.

It’s a classic turn based RPG on paper. You move from area to area, run into patrols of busty ninjas, and fights trigger like normal encounters. First time I ran into this blue-haired swordswoman, she pinned my character to a tree in a cutscene and groped him for “searching for weapons”. That escalated into a full-on forced titfuck scene as a “punishment” for trespassing. After that you unlock a special stance in combat where your skills change to more pervy stuff, like grapples that lower their “shame” instead of HP. The usual “attack, skill, item, defend” thing is there, but half the skills clearly exist so the girl ends up with her outfit ripped off, dripping, and moaning while still trying to stab you. Lose on purpose and you get a different H scene, win and you usually get to fuck them after breaking their will, with that whole corruption angle the game is obsessed with. Some of the scenes get pretty rough too, with actual ***, group assaults, and multiple penetration scenes when you piss off a whole squad of enemy kunoichi and they decide to “take turns” on you out of frustration. The POV shots during creampies are kind of hot, even if the censorship is annoying as hell. They blur the important bits and you just sit there knowing exactly what is happening, but still, it hits different when they show your character grabbing a ninja’s hair while she drools and gives that stupid ahegao look as you finish deep inside her. There’s also a cam-style event where one of the girls uses a magic mirror like it’s OnlyFans, performing handjobs and oral on you for her “followers” while you desperately try to focus on the quest text. I still think the UI sound for opening the menu is way too loud and it’s driving me crazy, and the game is never going to fix that.

What’s interesting from a gamification side is how they tie your kink progression to actual leveling. Each girl basically has her own mini route. At first she treats you like trash, slaps your hands away when you try to grope her, or forces you to watch as she “examines” you and humiliates you. As you win fights and trigger scenes, she gets more corrupted, starts asking for sex instead of pretending it’s an accident, and later you unlock stuff like public exhibition quests where she walks around the village in half-open ninja gear, pretending it’s “camouflage” while random NPCs comment on her tits. One moment I was in a serious boss fight against a busty captain, carefully managing skills and items, and then suddenly the fight shifts into a scripted H phase where she orders her subordinates to hold me down and we get a full bukkake scene as she rides me in front of them. Then it throws you back into battle like nothing happened and you still have to finish her off. The pacing is kind of a mess, and the censorship kills the mood sometimes, but the rhythm of “battle, tease, grab, fuck, level up” ends up working. They even give different skills if you choose more domination options versus letting the girls sexually harass and use you first, which is such a dumb smart detail for a porn RPG. There’s a lot of rough stuff, actual *** scenes mixed with consensual corruption, big tits smashing into the screen, and enough creampie and group sex to make your browser history look like evidence. The island itself is just a backdrop for horny ninja power leveling, and honestly, it does that job way too well.

It starts like one of those days where everything’s supposed to be normal, but the moment you see Marge bending over the laundry basket, or Edna leaning too close over the desk, you already know you’re screwed. The whole town feels like it’s holding its breath, waiting for something filthy to happen, and it always does. You play this young troublemaker who’s got more hormones than sense, and the game doesn’t even pretend to be subtle about it. Every scene feels like you’re peeking behind a curtain you weren’t supposed to touch - spying through keyholes, catching Lisa doing something she really shouldn’t, getting caught yourself and somehow turning that into another perverted opportunity. It’s messy, animated in that weirdly familiar way that makes you both nostalgic and guilty at once.

There’s this thing the game does where it makes you think you’re in control, like your choices matter, but then you end up blackmailing someone without even realizing how you got there. One second you’re joking around, next you’re groping Luann in her kitchen while she pretends to resist but totally doesn’t. The writing isn’t clean - sometimes the dialogue jumps, sometimes it’s awkward - but that’s kind of what makes it hot. It feels like you’re reading a dirty fanfic written by someone who actually grew up watching these characters and decided to finally make their fantasies real. The moaning sounds are ridiculous, over the top, but they work. And when the creampie scenes hit, they hit.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to enjoy the voyeurism parts so much. Watching Marge cheat, or Edna lose control in the school bathroom, there’s something raw there, like you’re seeing people you shouldn’t see in moments that were never meant to be shared. The cheating theme runs deep - everyone’s fucking someone else, and somehow it all loops back to you. It’s chaotic, wrong, hilarious, and way too addictive for what it is. You’ll probably feel dirty after playing, but you’ll still reload it the next day just to see what happens if you push the boundaries a little further.

Warm sand, lazy waves and that sticky summer heat that makes clothes feel too tight, that is the mood here. On the surface it is just this couple trip, Satoshi and Mary doing the cute romance thing, like some basic visual novel dating stuff, but the whole resort smells like sex and trouble from the first scene. As an ASMR brain I got weirdly fixated on tiny things: the sound of the elevator doors closing while Mary is still breathing a bit fast from being teased, the faint splash from the pool while uncle Kendo’s hand stays just a little too long on her back, the soft clothing rustle from those uniforms she really should not be wearing around her boyfriend’s uncle. The game loves that slow teasing, the “oops I brushed against your cock” kind of groping in crowded places, or that nasty little thrill when you peek around a corner and see way more than you should. It is not screaming moans all the time, more like whispered gasps in his office, tongue sounds during a half-hidden blowjob behind some plants, the wet slide during a lazy titfuck while the fan hums in the background. Those small sound loops are not even high quality sometimes, they repeat a bit awkward, but somehow that makes it feel more pervy, like you are stuck rewatching the same dirty moment in your head.

Story keeps pretending it is about romance, vacation, cute couples selfies and all that, then casually throws NTR in your face like “oh by the way, your girl is sitting on someone else’s lap now”. Mary starts the game as this sweet college girlfriend, normal student clothes, clingy but pure, then Kendo slowly corrupts her with flirty jokes, accidental skinship, then actual handjob routines and hidden sex scenes that only unlock if you picked the more cowardly, negligent choices as Satoshi. Those hurt in a delicious way. Watching her big tits pressed up against that older guy while she still texts her husband-to-be like nothing is wrong, that gave me this nasty ear-tingle similar to when someone whispers right into your earphone on TikTok lives. Some scenes really go for it: lazy oral sex in the office chair while the door is unlocked, creamy vaginal creampies where you can almost hear the thick squelch when he pulls out, her uniform pushed up, panties hanging at one ankle. There is one bathroom scene where the only sound for a few seconds is water dripping and her shaky breathing while his fingers work between her thighs, and that silence before she lets out a tiny whine is so much hotter than the actual animated thrusting that comes after.

Sometimes the humor hits at weird times, like during a pretty brutal cheating-wife moment the game throws in a goofy Konosuba parody reference with Aqua-level stupidity and a Megumin joke that almost killed the mood for me. Then right after, Mary is getting pounded from behind on the balcony, tits bouncing, Kendo grabbing her big ass with both hands, and I forgot I was annoyed. The tone is messy like that. One route had me listening to a police siren in the distance while a stepmom-looking milf with huge breasts lets herself get groped in a hallway, and my brain was like, why is that siren loop so loud compared to her moans. It never gets fixed. The multiple-protagonist thing is sneaky too: you think you are just Satoshi, then you slip into Kendo’s head for a bit and suddenly the same scene feels nastier, more direct, his inner monologue about Mary’s soft thighs and how easy it is to corrupt a bored young wife on vacation. There is family tension, step fantasy vibes, straight-up netorare where your “good boy” choices just make you more pathetic while she learns to love big cock and risky public groping. It is not subtle, not polished, sometimes the animated loops look a little stiff, but that actually fits this dirty-resort energy. Like a summer fuck that got way out of control and left you sweaty, frustrated, and still replaying her breathy little “don’t tell him” in your head when you close the tab.