Kai thinks he’s getting a lazy sexed-up vacation on a sunny island with his hot girlfriend, his smug best bro, and the girl who looks like she bites. That’s the vibe at first. Sun, cocktails, tits in tight bikinis, asses sliding over pool chairs, couples pretending they’re here to “relax” while they’re actually scanning every bar stool for someone to fuck. The resort looks like one of those Instagram traps, all fake-perfect, AI-smoothed smiles on posters and hotel staff who are just a little too polished. You start noticing weird stuff. Who is watching who, who is flirting a bit too long with who, who is way too comfortable touching your girl’s thigh. The island feels like it has its own rules, like it was built for people who got bored with normal sex and started asking themselves “what if I watch her get pounded by someone else and like it?” and then never stopped asking. It’s not subtle. You’re sitting there as Kai, watching Yumi lean forward, big tits half out, laughing at Nick’s jokes while his hand is a bit too close to her knee, and the game just lets that moment stretch and breathe until you either click or snap.

The whole thing is about pressure. Slow, annoying, horny pressure. You pick small choices that look harmless, like “sure, go for a walk with him” or “yeah, another drink is fine”, and three scenes later you’re staring at an animated loop of your girl’s soft hand around someone else’s cock while Kai tries to act like he’s not dying inside. Or maybe he’s into it. That’s the dirty part. The island keeps nudging you to test where your jealousy ends and your curiosity starts. The sex scenes grow out of that. Handjobs by the pool while someone might walk in, a wet grind on a lounge chair with her huge ass bouncing under a thin towel, a mouthy girl who likes to lean in too close and whisper shit about what your brother used to do with his ex. The game really likes that family drama angle. Older brother shows up, got that “I’ve fucked more and care less” energy, and suddenly every stare between him and your girl feels like a threat. Or a promise. Sometimes the art looks almost too clean, like an AI took a vacation album and turned it into porn, sometimes a frame looks a bit off and that weirdness makes the scene feel more wrong, which honestly fits the NTR stuff. You will click a choice, watch a short animation loop of her tits bouncing on a guy’s lap, and feel that tiny stab in your gut that says “you could have stopped this five scenes ago.” And maybe you still keep going.

Half the time you’re trying to solve what the hell is off about this island, who is pulling the strings, why everyone talks about “opening up” like it’s some cult slogan. The other half you’re just watching people get drunk, grind on each other at some shitty beach party, swap partners in ways no one really wants to admit out loud. The game does that thing where it pretends you are in control while also setting you up for failure, like letting you choose to cling to Yumi, then slowly showing her eyes drift to someone stronger, rougher, more daring. You can lean into the cheating, treat it as an experiment, turn Kai into that guy who loves seeing his girl used, or you can fight it and get dragged anyway. Some routes feel almost romantic until suddenly they aren’t. One minute you’re walking through palm trees at sunset, big ass in front of you swaying in tight shorts, and the next minute she’s pushing your hand away because she’s “tired” after spending time with someone else. The island keeps smiling. The resort music keeps playing. And you’re there, clicking, watching, letting it hurt and turn you on, wondering how far you’ll go before you call it too much, then pushing one scene past that.

Rosenwick chews you up and spits you out, then the game hands you a second life and basically says, “Ok, now corrupt everything.” You start as this street rat who somehow crawls his way into a super fancy academy, the kind of place where everyone smiles but half of them are hiding knives behind their backs. The story actually takes its time here. You’ve got your childhood friend who feels way too pure for this messed up world, you’ve got rich brats who think you’re trash, teachers with that “I’ll ruin you but make you enjoy it” vibe, and gods watching the whole thing like it’s their personal drama show. When the betrayal hits and you end up thrown away like garbage, that’s when it gets fun. A goddess shows up, gentle voice, soft boobs, sharp eyes, and she offers you a new world. And, yeah, she’s not doing that out of kindness.

The new world is where the horny brain starts screaming. Fantasy setting, but not the usual boring “hero saves kingdom” stuff. You’re handed this power that lets you slowly flip the balance with almost everyone around you. Girls who looked down on you before suddenly have to kneel. Highborn ladies, strict teachers, cute beastgirls with fluffy ears, mature women who pretend to be composed but melt the second you get rough with them. The voyeur bits are some of the best parts; you’ll catch a girl secretly touching herself thinking about you, or spying on two classmates going at it in the dorm bath, and the game actually reacts to whether you just watch, interrupt, or humiliate. H-scenes are pretty varied: slow kissing and handholding for the romantic stuff with that childhood friend who clearly worships you, then choking, hair-pulling, face-fucking others while you creampie them again and again like you’re trying to rewrite them from the inside. There’s a titfuck scene early on that should not be as good as it is, considering it uses AI-style CG, but the animation sells the sloppy, messy feeling so well I had to pause for a second and just stare. Then I noticed one of the nipples looked a bit cursed and I couldn’t unsee it, but whatever, still hot.

What I like is how scenes sometimes start as cute and then just go off the rails. A quiet study session in the library turns into the teacher kneeling under the desk, swallowing your cock, trying not to moan while students walk past. A “friendly” sparring match outside the academy becomes you pinning a muscular catgirl to the ground, fucking her so hard in missionary that her tail curls and her ears twitch with every thrust. Some characters actually fall in love with you in this clingy, wholesome way, and the game lets you be sweet with them, holding them close after you creampie them, kissing their forehead, promising you won’t leave. Then two scenes later, you’re using someone else like a sex toy while she begs to be your personal cumdump, and you barely even look at her face. The harem side goes wild fast, girls arguing over who gets your cock tonight, one of them offering to share, another one going “no, I’m first, she can have the leftovers leaking out of me.” There’s a furry girl who pretends she hates you and then gets off on you calling her a bitch and pulling her by the collar while you pound her from behind. The humor can be stupid in a fun way, like the MC realizing he’s surrounded by literal god-level bullshit and still thinking mainly with his dick. Some interactions feel rushed, some AI-generated art has that weird finger thing if you look too closely, and one route that should be longer just ends right when it gets interesting, but somehow the whole package still works. It’s messy, horny, a bit unhinged, and the story keeps throwing more women, more power, more sex in your face like it wants to see what kind of bastard you’ll turn into.

There’s this weird horny comfort in the way the Academy feels both serious and completely trashy at the same time. You’re “the doctor”, the last one not dead or infected, but the game doesn’t really care about making you feel noble. It cares about putting you in a magic school full of witches who somehow always need physical exams that turn into groping, massages that slide into fingering, “magical checkups” where you’re basically encouraged to stare at their tits while pretending it’s clinical. The virus plot is just enough to make everyone act desperate. Girls knock on your door like, “Professor, I think the curse is spreading to my chest…” and yeah, you know very well what the dev wants you to click next. You walk around the academy, check the schedule, manage who gets what treatment, but really it feels like you are managing how quickly they lose their shame. There’s a management system tied to supplies and research and all that, but half the time you’re just min-maxing how many excuses you can get to see another girl undress for “testing”. It’s trashy in a way that actually feels honest.

The real hook for me is how much it leans into voyeur stuff without making it the whole point. There’s this scene early on where you discover a hidden passage that looks like it was built just for perverts long before you were born. Tiny slits in the wall, right into the girls’ bath, or the dorm showers, or the practice rooms where they do “focus exercises” completely naked because “fabric interferes with mana flow”. You can stand there, in the dark corridor, watching this one redhead witch practicing spells while she fingers herself to “charge the ritual”. You’re supposed to collect data about symptoms, but the game actually tracks how long you keep spying. The more you peek, the more the story bends toward corruption. It never tells you directly, but you start feeling that the academy itself is kind of alive, feeding on exhibitionism. One girl starts pretending she doesn’t see you, even though she clearly looks at the wall where the hole is. Another one suddenly “forgets” to close the curtain when changing into her cosplay outfit for some stupid school event. She wears these cheap magical girl clothes that look like they came from AliExpress, all pastel and too tight around her huge chest, and you’re sitting there thinking, “This is the stupidest thing” while also rock hard.

The best scenes are when the medical side, the magic side and the porn side crash together. There is a massage event where you are “rubbing a special potion” into a student’s legs to prevent the virus from spreading. It starts totally serious, you’re checking her pulse with magic, adjusting mana flow, that kind of nerdy fantasy roleplay. Then the camera slowly slides up to her panties. She keeps asking if it is “really necessary to go higher” and the game lets you be either professional for two seconds or just go straight to full perv. If you keep it clinical, she blushes even more, which somehow feels way dirtier. And of course, the more you abuse your role, the more the academy rewards you with new “duties”. You suddenly get asked to lead “intimate mana compatibility exams” in a locked room. Vaginal exams that could be normal, but you start thrusting fingers and the animation actually shows her trying to keep her dignity and failing. It’s not subtle. It doesn’t pretend to be. One moment you’re picking which student to prioritize in your daily schedule, trying to balance research and reputation, the next moment you’re buried between the legs of some top-ranked witch who swears she will curse you if you stop. The tone jumps all over the place and somehow that makes it hotter, like you’re always one step from ruining the academy completely and you kind of want to.

Everything about this game feels like some horny fever dream of a lazy knight who just wanted gold, boobs and trouble in the woods. You play this very average dude, not some shining hero, who gets shoved into this “kill the monster, get the treasure, impress the Hooters girls” kind of quest, and the whole thing leans hard into parody. It knows it’s ridiculous. The fantasy world feels like one of those cheap tavern wallpapers on Steam, but then the milfs show up with these insane curves, perfect for those big soft-tit moments, and suddenly you forget you were supposed to be a brave adventurer and not just a walking erection. The game lets you wander around like a sandbox, poking at places you shouldn’t, teasing big-ass monster girls, getting sucked off by women who absolutely know better, and everything has this messy, horny energy that feels more like a dirty joke that went too far than a “serious” adult story.

Combat is this simple turn-based thing, but it’s used more like foreplay than real challenge. You’re in a fight, you’re trading hits, then the scene slows down and the monster isn’t just a monster. She’s got thick thighs, obscene cleavage, and she leans in close, her tits almost spilling over your screen, and suddenly the “attack / defend / skill” thing gets weirdly erotic. Sometimes when you win, the reward isn’t just gold, it’s a full-on lewd scene: sloppy handjob with her drooling over your cock, tits pressed together and she’s milking you while making fun of how fast you cum, or you get pinned down by some big-titted fantasy milf who rides you like you’re just another loot chest. The AI CG is surprisingly expressive too, not perfect, it has that slightly off vibe here and there, but the faces when they tease you, the way lips wrap around nipples during boob-sucking scenes, the way their asses look in motion during the animated bits, it all creates this low-key hypnotic rhythm. I caught myself just staring at a jiggle loop longer than I want to admit, like some brain-dead caveman.

The pacing is weird in a good way. Sometimes things are slow, lots of teasing, a milf leaning over you, her top barely holding those giant tits, she makes you wait, strokes you lazily with her hand, spits on it a little, whispers stupid fantasy lines that still hit, then suddenly the game jumps into another silly quest or random joke and you’re like, “wait, I was about to cum, wtf.” It’s horny, then silly, then horny again, like switching tabs between Pornhub and YouTube memes. And yeah, the UI is a little clunky, some buttons feel like they got placed by a drunk goblin, one sound loop in the forest kept repeating and I wanted to smack my speakers, but then there’s this one scene where a thick milf pushes your head into her chest, you hear wet sucking, her moans get louder, her hips grind on your leg, and the sound mix suddenly just clicks. That heavy breathing, the sloppy mouth sounds when she licks your nipples, the wet strokes when she jerks you while staring into your eyes, it pulled me right back. The whole game is like that: a horny little adventure that pretends to be about slaying some beast, but really it’s about being used, teased and drained by big-tit fantasy women who know exactly what they’re doing and are having way too much fun with your poor hero.

Japan in this game feels like someone took a horny sci fi reddit thread, fed it into ChatGPT on a bad day, then handed it to a very pervy writer with a school uniform fetish and a grudge. You land there as this kinda average 19-year-old dude, supposed to be an exchange student, pretending you care about classes while your brain is just full of your crush Julie’s tits and that tight ass she keeps pretending she doesn’t notice you staring at. Of course she brings her cute friend Alice, who acts like a good girl but gives you those tiny side glances that say “choke me a little, please.” On top of that, there is this whole mystery about Julie’s missing sister and a company that makes hyper realistic sex dolls, but half the time I kept forgetting about the plot because the game keeps throwing you in situations where you are either groping, being teased, or trying not to cum in your pants in some school hallway. The tone jumps around like crazy: one moment you flirt shyly in a classroom, next you are slapping a doll’s ass raw and making her call you master while your friend is in the next room. That mix actually works better than it should. It feels messy and dirty, in a good way.

The whole “Love Dolls” company thing is the part that stuck with me. Those dolls are basically walking sex toys with soft skin, big tits, big asses, and eyes that look a bit too human when you tell them to open their mouth wider and they just obey without question. They are made to be used, to be trained, to be humiliated. You can press them against a wall, pull their hair, force their legs apart, make them kneel on a cold floor and clean your dick with their tongue while you stare down like they’re nothing. There is this one scene where you are still acting like the innocent foreign student on the outside but behind a locked door you are pushing a doll face down on a school desk, fingers digging into her hips, pounding her so hard the animation actually sells the impact. Her tits bounce, her ass jiggles, she moans like a broken toy, and you know very well you are not supposed to be doing this in a place with textbooks and chalkboards. That mix of “I shouldn’t” and “I really, really will” is where the game shines. It goes from gentle teasing and soft kisses with your crush to rough anal with a doll chained to a bed, and the game barely blinks. You get moments of romance, then suddenly you’re strapping a toy to a girl, making her ride it until she’s shaking, and the MC is just watching with this fucked up curiosity like “what else can I do to her?” It’s not subtle, it’s not classy, and it absolutely doesn’t pretend to be. Which is kind of perfect for what it is.

Rob is the kind of main guy who already feels cursed before the story even starts, and the game leans into that in a way that kinda tickled the little eldritch goblin in my brain. He’s this broke college kid, forgotten by his own parents like some unwanted relic in the attic, while his sister is treated like the golden idol in the house. Nothing supernatural on screen yet, but the family vibes feel wrong in a way I usually only get from old horror books where no one says the quiet part out loud. You can feel something rotten behind that “strange event” with the parents, like an old cult ritual gone bad or a deal with something that doesn’t care about humans at all. Then he goes to a poker game, which sounds boring, right? It’s not. That table might as well be a summoning circle, because from that moment the whole thing starts slipping out of normal reality into this twisted mix of sex, crime, and violence that feels like a god with eight mouths is laughing just off screen.

The erotic stuff doesn’t pretend to be healthy or pure. Sex here is raw, rough, and often tangled in fear and power games. One scene sticks with me: Rob is in this cheap, dim room with a girl who’s supposed to be just a “contact” for his little criminal step up. Conversation goes nowhere, nerves are high, and instead of some slow, tender buildup, it just snaps into a hungry kind of fucking that feels like both of them are using each other as a way not to think about how close to death they are. Her eyes roll back, tongue out in that over-the-top ahegao way, but it doesn’t feel goofy, it feels like she’s losing a piece of herself to whatever dark mess Rob is dragging behind him. Another time he’s in the middle of an investigation, blood on the floor, body still warm, and he ends up getting his cock sucked in the next room like the violence just opened a door inside him and now everything is leaking out. It’s wrong in a very deliberate way, like the game is asking “you still jerking off to this?” while it keeps pushing more. And yeah, I still did.

What really hooked me is how the sexy moments and the cruel ones keep melting into each other. One minute you’re flirting, pulling a girl closer, her lips on you, her hand guiding you in, and the next you’re dealing with torture, murder, talk of ***, this heavy criminal underworld that doesn’t respect life at all. It’s like watching a ritual where blood and cum are treated as the same offering. Harem vibes grow slowly around Rob, too, but not as some nice power fantasy. It feels more like he’s accidentally building a cult around his broken life, women orbiting him for all the wrong reasons, some of them wet and giggling, some half-broken, some clearly dangerous. The animated scenes hit hard enough, sometimes a bit clunky, sure, but the impact is there: thighs shaking, mouths stretched around him, bodies tied to dark choices he made earlier. I wish the investigation parts had a bit more brain to them, sometimes they just feel like clicking through until you get to the next sex or mutilated corpse, and there’s this one sound effect that keeps repeating and drove me nuts, but in a weird way that roughness makes it feel more like some cursed underground thing you found by accident rather than polished porn. It’s not realistic at all, and that’s honestly what I liked: everything feels like the city itself is a hungry thing watching Rob fuck and kill his way deeper into a story that’s only pretending to be about a poor student.

You wake up in Eroselle with a hard-on, a shitty reputation, and zero clue how this world even works. Perfect combo. Everybody acts like your arrival is some bug in the code of reality: the King looks at you like trash, the Princess talks like she’s already bored of you, but the magic in this place wants to crawl under your skin. And yeah, that includes the girls. This is one of those worlds where the economy basically runs on tits and spells. You wander through this “proper” fantasy city and every alley feels like it’s watching you. Tavern girls with ridiculous hips bending too far over the tables, big-ass noble ladies pretending they don’t like being stared at, mages with robes that hide nothing when they lean down to “help” you study. The game pretends it’s about politics and war, then gives you a chance to grope a busty elf in a library corner because you picked the flirty dialogue instead of the “responsible” one. And the best part, the bodies don’t feel copy-pasted. One girl has this heavy, natural chest that jiggles when she laughs at you, another has that tight, perky pair that looks amazing when she’s on her knees, hand around your cock, teasing and stalling like she’s grinding XP out of your frustration. Animations are not perfect, sometimes the mouth-sync looks a bit cursed, but somehow that makes it hotter. Like weird porn you accidentally replay ten times.

The whole “goddess of lust” thing isn’t just flavor text. Your dick is basically your skill tree. You flirt, you grope, you eat pussy, you suck on those soft big tits, you let them stroke you slow with oil and whispered dirty talk, and you actually get stronger. Unlock a new power, go back to town, suddenly that shy witch who used to blush and run away when you complimented her ass now drops to the floor and starts licking the sweat from your abs after a fight. I had one scene where I’d just finished a quest in the forest and my health was low, and instead of using a potion, this cute healer girl drags me behind a tree and says she can “channel” extra energy through her mouth. Cut to her on all fours, face buried in my lap, slobbering and moaning every time I twitch in her throat, with those huge tits hanging and swaying under her. That was the moment I forgot there was even a main story. Then later I tried to min-max the romance routes like some nerd in a Google Sheet and the game went “nah” and locked me out of an option because I’d been too much of a slut with random NPCs. Slightly pissed me off. But then a new scene popped with a jealous princess riding me angry, biting my neck, calling me a pervert while grinding her fat ass down and telling me I belong to her. So whatever, I forgave it instantly. It’s messy, horny, sometimes goofy as hell, with that cheap fantasy humor where a magic spell backfires and suddenly you’re stuck in a bathhouse with three wet, naked girls and no towel, only your hands and your rising problem. Feels like the game is laughing with you, not at you. Or maybe at you. Hard to tell when your screen is full of bouncing tits and dirty whispered lines that actually sound like a real girl losing control, not some clean, polished script trying too hard to be sexy.

Waking up naked in a city that looks like Silent Hill fucked a factory and then forgot to clean up after, that’s the vibe here. You open your eyes, have zero clue who you are, and the first real thing you focus on is this girl, Ophelia, who is hot in a wrong kind of way. Not wrong like “oh no, she’s evil”, more like “why does her body move like that and why do I like it so much”. She talks to you like she’s already decided you’re hers, and the game never really lets you feel fully safe around her, even when she’s stroking your cheek or dropping to her knees in first person view. One second you’re flirting, next second you’re both scavenging in a ruined supermarket while something wet and angry screams somewhere in the dark aisle behind the cereal. It’s messy, horny, and kind of romantic in that trash-fire way where the world is ending but you still argue about who gets to be on top.

The loop sneaks up on you. At first you just click around, pick up scrap, figure out some simple crafting, like “ok, I need this to not die, and that to impress the monster girl who can snap me like a twig but would rather tease me senseless”. Then you start thinking in turns. That nasty creature you meet in the subway? You’re watching its attack pattern, saving skills, deciding if losing here is actually a bad thing, because there is a non-zero chance it pins you down and suddenly you’re getting railed while the combat music is still echoing in your head. Sometimes it’s vaginal, sometimes it’s anal, sometimes the thing pulls out a surprise dick and your brain goes “wait what” at the same time your body goes “keep going”. The wild part is, a lot of these sexy punishments you can avoid if you don’t fuck up, but the game kind of tempts you to misplay. Like, you know that if you keep defending instead of killing her, this tall futa hunter might “reward” you by using your mouth until the screen literally fogs. I said I was going to play smart and then suddenly I am losing a fight on purpose like a clown.

The mood keeps swinging. You get this bleak, broken-city horror, ruined apartments lit by flickering signs, dead silence in one street and then some giggly banter with Ophelia as she strips piece by piece while pretending it’s part of a “strategic plan” to distract an enemy. Sure girl, it’s for tactics. She kisses another woman in front of you once, slow and deep, and you get that sharp jealous sting that hits harder than most jump scares. If you push it, they drag it into full lesbian territory and you’re just there, stuck between wanting to watch and wanting to join. There’s also these quiet POV moments when she crawls into your lap in some half-collapsed shelter, tells you stupid jokes, then casually opens your pants and starts sucking you off while still talking about survival routes like this is the most normal thing. The romance side is weirdly soft in places, with her asking little things about what you like, what you hate, how rough she can be, and from that point the dating sim brain kicks in and you start gaming her affection like it’s Tinder but with actual teeth. I wish the UI for the crafting menu didn’t look like it was slapped together in a hurry, but in a twisted way it fits the whole ruined-world energy, so I’m not even confident I want it changed. Just be warned: if you’re like me and tell yourself “I’m going to focus on survival”, you’ll still end up knee deep in sex scenes where losing a turn in combat means some hungry girl-monster is riding you in full animation and you suddenly forget completely why you came into that area in the first place.

There is this lonely lake house, and the game just throws you inside it with this guy and his brother’s fiancée, and everything feels a little wrong from the first minute. Not in the cheap “boo” way, more like the air is too quiet, the water outside looks too still, and you feel like if you touch the glass you’ll feel something breathe back. I kept thinking about how I’d build a routine on that long wooden pier, the kind where I walk out slowly, heels clicking, fog on the water behind me, and then I just drop the coat and let the silence watch me grind. The game has that same feeling, like the world around them is staring while they do things they really shouldn’t. She walks around in these soft clothes that hang on her big tits and huge ass in a way that says “I’m comfortable” but also “I know you’re looking,” and the camera really loves her curves. Sometimes too much. There’s this shot in the kitchen where she leans over the counter and I swear the whole scene might as well be about her ass only, like the rest of the house stopped existing.

The story pretends to be all about survival, virus, quarantine, blah blah, but the reason I kept clicking was that slow teasing between those two. You see them try to be polite, to keep distance, then the eye contact lingers one second longer than normal, then the accidental brush of bodies, him going to the bathroom and hearing her masturbating inside, trying to control his breathing while she’s quietly moaning and thinking no one hears. That scene hit me hard, because I could picture a routine where I’m behind a thin curtain, only silhouette, hand between my legs, the audience just hearing breath and little wet sounds, never seeing everything until the very end. The game does that with the paranormal stuff too. It doesn’t jump in your face. You get these tiny glitches in reality, something wrong in the lake reflection, a shadow behind a window that should be empty, and by the time you get to the more explicit sex, your brain is already trained to expect something moving in the background. The animated bits go from sensual to almost nasty in a good way, like when she finally rides him and you see her tits bounce heavy and natural, but the light from the lake looks slightly sick, like the water is jealous and watching them fuck.

I liked that it’s basically a straight line story, no choices, no going back, just “you are this horny idiot, deal with it,” even if sometimes it feels a bit like watching a really long TikTok playlist instead of a game. There was one moment where he’s outside at night, flashlight shaking, hearing something in the trees, and all I could think of was how I’d dance with that flashlight in my mouth, body covered in oily sweat, pretending the dark wants to swallow me whole. Then you cut from that to a quiet morning coffee scene and her nipples poking through a thin top and it almost breaks the mood in a clumsy way, like the game forgot it was trying to be horror for a second. But when the lake finally shows its teeth, and they are forced to touch and hold each other for comfort that is absolutely not just comfort, it hits. The cheating angle is dirty as hell, because it never really tries to justify itself. She is scared, he is scared, and fear turns into arousal, then into full vaginal sex on that couch while something unseen scratches on the window. It made me want to do a number where the music keeps cutting out, like something is wrong with the speakers, while I grind on a chair as if I’m fucking a ghost that no one else can see. The only thing that really annoyed me is his stupid walk cycle in a couple scenes, he looks like he is always about to trip over his own dick, and for some reason that distracted me every time. But the mix of house intimacy, lake horror, and that slow, filthy teasing that bursts into raw, wet, animated sex, yeah, that stuck under my skin in a way I wasn’t really ready for.