Galactic Athletes: Blue League feels like somebody smashed together horny Olympic games, a trashy boys love manga and that weird fantasy you had in high school showers that you never told anyone about. You play as Finn, this kinda cute medic guy who is supposed to keep all these pumped up jocks healthy and at same time guess who will win and who will lose all the events. Which is already sexy because you are literally paid to stare at their bodies and “evaluate performance”. The game does not even pretend to be subtle. Every competition is basically “who is gonna end on top and who is getting fucked as punishment”, and the story just says it out loud. I like that. No fake moral. You sit there, watching these huge muscle athletes from different planets, checking their stats, listening to their trash talk in the locker room, and in your head you try to decide “ok this one looks cocky as hell, he is definitely the type that needs to be pinned down”. And then sometimes you guess right and the game rewards you with exactly the filthy scene you imagined, and other times it throws you a curveball and the big arrogant guy ends up moaning into the bench instead.

The vibe is very locker room fantasy but in space, full of rival teams, sweaty guys grabbing towels, joking about fucking each other, but then they actually do it. I like how Finn is supposed to be “professional” medic, but every time you open that scene gallery or click on their medical checkups, it is like: bro, you are not fooling anyone. When you check a player after an event you get choices that are normal-sounding on paper, like “inspect leg strain” or “verify flexibility,” but when you click you suddenly have his thigh in your hands and your face way too close to his bulge, and the text just goes full-on explicit. The sex is not soft either, it is very graphic and dirty, with guys talking about how bad they want to pound the loser, or how they love when a champion gets “reminded who owns that ass”. Sometimes the dialogue is kinda cheesy, but I still ended up reading all of it, like re-reading cringe sexts that turn you on anyway. Reminded me of scrolling Hornet and Scruff at the gym, pretending to “just check messages” while staring at all the thick guys doing squats. Also had one of those moments where I paused the game, opened Twitter and typed half a horny tweet about alien rugby tops before chickening out and deleting it. This game does that to you. It fries your brain a bit, in a good way, like when you keep reopening the same nude on Telegram because you “missed a detail” the first six times.

Guard uniform, shitty fluorescent lights, that stink of sweat and bleach that almost comes through the screen, and then this guy shows up in your block. Artemis. Wrong kind of pretty for a place like that. Soft face, sharp eyes, mouth that looks like it was made to talk back and suck cock, both. The game just throws you into that fucked up mix of power and attraction without a slow intro, which I liked. You’re already in the role, already the one with the keys, but somehow he feels scarier than the whole cell block. Not scary like monster, scary like "I know exactly what you want and I’m going to make you admit it." The flirting starts way too early to be healthy, way too late to stop, and every line he drops has that vibe where you can’t tell if he’s actually scared or just acting weak so you’ll push harder. And yeah, it’s mostly reading and choosing, but it doesn’t feel dry, because half the time I was alt-tabbing out of sheer secondhand shame, then going right back in like a horny idiot.

The thing that got me is how the game keeps playing chicken with your morals. You get these choices like "do the professional thing" or "maybe just touch him a bit" and it sounds simple, but the writing keeps nudging you, poking at your curiosity, making the “nice” options feel kind of fake. At some point I realised I was picking the worse path just to see how far the dev will go, and it does go pretty far into fucked territory. There is that whole predator vs prey dance, but it flips. You start as the guard, the big man with the baton, but Artemis knows how to tilt his head just a little, sit on the bunk in that half-feminine pose, open his legs too wide, make you aware how easy it would be to hurt him and how much he kind of wants you to. Or pretends to. Hard to tell. That tension is the hot part, not even the actual explicit bits, though those are written with enough dirty detail that I had to stop reading on my phone in public transport after one very specific line about making him kneel on the cold floor of the cell. The world is cruel, the prison is worse, but the horny brain prevails.

It’s pretty dark without the game patting you on the head about it. No big speech about trauma, just little details: the way he flinches when you move too fast, the way other guards talk about inmates like meat, offhand comments about what happens in the showers. It’s messy, morally and sexually, like one of those old yaoi fanfics on LiveJournal that half of us cut our teeth on, only a bit more grown up and kinda meaner. Artemis is that type: slight, almost fragile, but with enough lip to make you want to shut him up by grabbing his neck. He’ll tease you, call you "officer" with this tiny smirk, then suddenly there is this one line where he sounds genuinely terrified and it punches you right in the gut while you still have a hard-on. The choices make you complicit. You can try to be the good guy, but the text never lets you feel clean, and honestly that’s why it sticks. Sex here is power, manipulation, pity, and actual lust all tangled together, not separated into nice categories. If you like your gay prison fantasies soft and wholesome, this is not that. If you always wondered how far a bored, lonely guard might go with a dangerous little femboy inmate who knows exactly what card to play, this thing crawls under your skin, rubs up against every bad impulse, and waits to see which button you press next.