Caligula as porn game sounds like a shitpost idea, but it kinda works here. You play this cocky little psychopath prince who climbs to emperor while his dick basically makes half the decisions. It is not subtle. The game throws you into old Rome where every corridor, bath, balcony feels like someone either just fucked there or is about to. You’re mostly in first person as a male MC, and it leans heavy into voyeur stuff: you watching, you being watched, you pretending you “accidentally” walked in on something even though you clearly followed them. There’s this scene early where you spy on a noble girl getting “examined” by a tutor, she’s still technically virgin so he’s using fingers and tongue, and instead of feeling romantic it’s like you’re watching a lamb get slowly trained for slaughter. That mix of history flavor and really dirty sex is the whole mood.

The game uses real model faces blended with AI art and it’s weirdly hot. Sometimes uncanny, sometimes perfect. One of the slave girls has this expression that looks like an OnlyFans selfie pasted into a Roman villa and I still liked it. It helps with the corruption stuff too, because you see the same girl going from shy, eyes down, clutching her sheet, to later on taking your cock between her tits while also jerking another guy with one hand and trying to keep a straight face for the “public ceremony”. Half the corruption is you pushing them, half is them realizing they like being treated as property. Oral scenes are constant, like the dev just really loves mouths. Short, messy blowjobs in side rooms, drawn out “serve your emperor” worship scenes in public baths, one priestess forced to suck you off on the temple steps while people pretend to not notice. I ranked that one pretty high on my own little spreadsheet, right next to some crazy challenge I did in HuniePop years ago where I tried to unlock every CG before checking Discord for a whole day. Yeah, I lost that challenge. I never learn.

Sex variety is honestly nicer than I expected from a historical setting. Vaginal is everywhere of course, but anal slips in when girls are still “saving” their virginity for some political marriage. There’s one wedding-night scene where you take the bride from behind in a dark side chamber while the official groom is busy drinking in the banquet hall, and the writing goes heavy on the power trip. You plug her ass so she can still technically go to her husband “pure” and she’s half crying, half pushing back. I liked that they didn’t pretend she was totally into it from the start. Same with the forced and male dom scenes: it doesn’t sugarcoat it; sometimes it’s clearly abuse, sometimes it slides into exhibitionism and she starts showing off her body to the crowd because that’s the only way she can feel in control. The game keeps shoving you into public humiliation bits: making girls stroke you under the table in Senate, commanding a handjob in front of a chained rival, walking a naked slave through a garden while senators stare. At one point you jerk off alone after an execution, watching the blood drip while you remember a previous titfuck scene with the victim, and I caught myself thinking “ok, that’s actually fucked” then clicked next anyway. The only thing that really annoyed me was a tiny UI sound on choice buttons, this stupid click that feels like some cheap mobile app from 2014, and now every time it plays I lose the mood for a second and mentally open Twitter. I still keep chasing the filthiest route like it’s a leaderboard and I’m trying to speedrun how fast I can ruin every “good” girl in Rome, but yeah, that little click noise lives rent free in my skull.

El Presidente in an all girls reform camp sounds like the start of a shitpost on r/greentext, but here it actually turns into a horny fantasy adventure that kind of spirals out of control in a fun way. You begin as this smug guy who clearly thinks he’s way smarter than the system, gets dumped in a camp full of “troubled” girls, and then slowly realizes the weirdest thing there is not the girls acting out, but the stuff that lives behind the trees and the strange symbols carved into random places. At first it plays like a goofy summer camp sandbox: you sneak around, peek through windows, “accidentally” bump into a counselor in the showers, do the usual route-minmax routine while tracking affection values in your head like some degenerate Excel sheet. Then, just when you think it’s all about tits and asses and groping scenes, the monster girl angle kicks in and the story suddenly has this nerdy fantasy layer with arcane writing and old secrets hidden under all the horny teasing.

Erotically, it leans hard into slow build and playful humiliation in a good way. You get a lot of scenes where you are half in control, half just swept into the girls’ chaos. A big part of the fun is that many of them know exactly what you’re trying to do. You sneak up to a cabin window at night thinking “ok, free voyeur content” and then one girl just pulls the curtains aside and stares right back at you, topless, smirking, like she was waiting for you the whole time. Or you try some awkward groping move during a “mandatory trust exercise” and the game lets you fumble with her huge ass, then writes it like she lets you go a bit too far but still calls you out in front of everyone the next day. It mixes that humiliation with reward, so you’re blushing and horny at same time, which is basically the core fetish loop here. The big tits and big asses are not just there as decoration, they are written into the scenes, like when a girl uses her chest to pin you against a tree while “interrogating” you about a monster sighting, or a monster girl wraps you in tentacles in a way that somehow focuses very carefully on your crotch and her curves instead of just being slime porn.

What caught me off guard is how much there is to poke at. The sandbox setup actually lets you do the classic “ok, what if I only talk to this one character for a week” experiment. I used a literal Google Sheet to track which camp events trigger in the evening depending on where I spent the afternoon, and there are branching bits that only show if you stack certain flags in a weird order, like spying on a specific cabin multiple times before helping with a search patrol. One night event had me sneaking through the forest after a rumor about a glowing figure. I expected cheap jumpscare and a quick H-scene. Instead, I ended up translating part of a strange language scribbled on a rock while a half-naked monster girl watched from a tree, tail swaying, waiting for me to fuck up the chant. The game lets you fail that on purpose, and if you do, the punishment is lewd as hell, very teasing, lots of touching, almost no actual “finish”, and somehow that blueballs feeling fits the character’s arc perfectly. There are animated loops sprinkled in that give life to the groping, hips grinding, tits bouncing, not Hollywood-level animation but dirty enough that you stop noticing flaws after a minute. Comedy hits hard too: one scene had me cornered in the mess hall, forced to explain why my “map of the camp” looked suspiciously like a chart of shower schedules, and I actually laughed while also thinking “ok, this is a little too close to how I play these games.” The only thing that annoyed me a bit is that some routes feel hidden in a weird way, like you need to click a random background prop on Wednesday afternoon or you miss a whole teasing sequence, but I guess that also keeps the place feeling like an actual camp with secrets, not just a straight porn corridor. I came for the dumb premise, stayed because suddenly I was calculating optimal paths to see if I could unlock the monster girl route without losing access to that one scene where the counselor rides your lap during a “meditation session” and pretends it’s completely professional.

Game feels like somebody mashed a porn comic, a goofy superhero show and one of those messy family dramas from Netflix, then said “yeah ok, what if everyone was hot and kind of a pervert.” You start as this dude who’s basically the walking center of gravity in a house full of ridiculous curves and way too little shame. There’s school stuff on the side, but it’s mostly there so the girls can wear tight uniforms, bend over desks and pretend they’re focusing on homework while you’re staring at their asses. The whole thing has that 3D render vibe where boobs are just slightly too perfect and every milf’s butt looks like it was optimized in Excel for maximum surface area. I kind of respect that, professionally.

The story is split in a weird data way in my head: “story mode” is your main plotline with the incest harem, twins, powers, family secrets, etc., and “free roam” is like the sandbox dashboard where your KPI is “how many holes filled concurrently.” You pick which girl’s storyline to go deep into first, and that actually changes the emotional tempo. Go with the milf aunt early and the game instantly feels like a corruption chart trending up: slow teasing, long eye contact at breakfast, her walking around with a towel that keeps almost slipping, then suddenly she’s riding you on the couch while some dumb sitcom plays in the background. Pick the twin route first and it’s more like a broken A/B test where both variants are just “sisters competing to see who can drain you faster.” One scene has you “helping them study” and you end up with one sister under the table sucking you off while the other pretends to quiz you, cheeks red, nipples poking through her top. The tension is less subtle there, more “everyone in this house is two seconds from a gangbang.”

Superpowers pop up in a way that’s actually kind of funny. Not deep Marvel-level, more like “hey, I can freeze time long enough to pull down the teacher’s shirt and stare at her tits while she’s stuck mid-sentence” or using some mind trick to nudge a shy girl into showing you what her panties look like. That voyeur angle is everywhere. You catch the milf masturbating in the shower, spying from a crack in the door. Or you watch the two girls making out on the bed, hands all over each other, one grinding her thigh between the other’s legs, and you just sit there like some creepy analyst, tracking their moans, waiting for the right second to walk in and “help.” Then the game lets you replay that same scene later in free roam and push it harder: add anal, swap positions, bring a third girl, turn a soft lesbian moment into full-blown group sex where faces are messy and nobody’s even pretending to be innocent anymore. I wish the UI for the free roam scenes was less clicky and more like a flow, but it’s not going to change and whatever, I got used to it.

Sex variety is nuts, by the way. One minute you’re doing slow, almost romantic vaginal with your “relative” on her bed, her legs wrapped around you, whispering shit she should absolutely not be saying to a family member. Next moment you’re in a kind of half-joking threesome with her and another girl, choking on laughs and dick at the same time, cum dripping down her chin while the other girl holds her hair like it’s some friendly team activity. Anal shows up often enough that it feels like anyone over 30 in this universe just defaults to offering up their ass once they trust you. There’s this late scene where you pin the milf against the wall, her huge tits bouncing while you push into her ass, her moans loud enough you’re sure the “kids” can hear, and she just doesn’t care anymore. Lesbian content is not optional; girls lick each other like they’ve been waiting their whole lives for you to leave the room so they can finally taste some pussy. One of my favorite moments is in the school setting, on a rooftop, where two girls are pressed together, kissing slow, one sliding her hand down the other’s skirt, wet sounds way too loud for outside. You show up, they pretend to be shy for two lines, then you’re balls-deep in one while the other rides your face, both of them held up by your “mysterious power” like some messed up vertical bar chart of naked bodies.

The humor is stupid in a good way. Characters throw horny jokes around all the time, like the milf calling your cock her “favorite workout equipment,” or one twin telling the other to “share the resource, I saw him first but I don’t mind concurrency.” It makes the hardcore scenes feel like you’re in on some private joke, not just clicking porn stills. At the same time, some transitions between serious story and horny comedy feel like someone forgot to switch tabs in their brain. You go from tragic family secret to a titjob gag in two lines. Speaking of titjobs, they look great even though sometimes the camera angles are a little weird, like the dev really loves close-ups of nipples more than faces. Not a crime, just funny. And the violence tag? It spikes here and there when the fantasy plot kicks in: a fight where powers clash, blood on the ground, then directly after that you’re comforting a bruised girl with your tongue between her thighs because that’s how this universe handles trauma apparently. There’s no NTR, which I kind of appreciate as someone who likes clean ownership in his mental dashboard. Everything belongs to the main dude, period, including the twins, the milf, the schoolgirls, the side chicks. It’s pure harem math, and the game leans hard into that, like a line going straight up on a chart that probably should worry somebody in a real-life ethics meeting. But here, it just makes sense.

Emily is that kind of heroine who looks like she should be in some cute, holy church story, but the game clearly hates that idea and keeps throwing her into every dirty corner of this medieval shithole of a town. It starts pretty mild, you know, the usual “lost girl from small village” stuff, she’s nervous, shy, touching herself under the blankets like she’s scared the gods are watching. But the way the game plays with her curiosity is what got me. First time she sneaks a look at a guy getting jerked off behind the inn, the camera sits too long on her face, on her breathing, on her biting her lip. She pretends to look away, you can click somewhere else, but you don’t. You keep her watching. You make her watch. That’s the vibe. The corruption is not fast, it’s like someone slowly opening her shirt button by button in public and telling her it’s her idea.

What I really liked is how the sandbox thing works with her shame. You’re not forced into a straight line. You roam around this town that looks kind of cozy and rotten at same time, and every corner is some new way to push her. Maybe she just wanted to buy fruit and instead you end up with some drunk mercenary “accidentally” groping her ass near the stall, his hand staying way too long. You can back out, or you can have her freeze, not fight, feel that first hot spark between her legs. Then later she’s in her little rented room, pretending she’s just going to sleep, and you have that scene where she sits on the edge of the bed, lifts her dress, fingers shaking, and starts masturbating while replaying that touch in her head. It’s not glamorous porn, it’s messy, guilty, with her whispering “just a bit” and then going way past “just a bit” until she’s grinding on her own fingers like a needy slut. And then the game hits you with a choice the next day, like “do you avoid that guy” or “go the same route again, oops”, and you know exactly what you’re clicking and why.

The oral and lesbian stuff also doesn’t appear as “hey, here is the lesbian route now”, it feels more like her accidentally sliding into it. One time she’s just helping a “friend” wash in the bathhouse and suddenly there is this long, slow scene of soap, hands on tits that are obviously too big for that tiny shirt, two girls pressed against each other, one clearly more experienced, guiding Emily’s hand between her own legs. Emily’s first time going down on another girl is clumsy as hell, she’s trying to copy what she saw guys do through keyholes earlier. You can almost feel her confusion turning to hunger when the other girl moans and grabs her hair to push her deeper. Then like three scenes later she’s on her knees for some smug asshole with armor and bad haircut, licking his cock while trying to keep eye contact because he told her “good girls look up”, and you can decide if she does it like shy, hesitant little thing or like she already knows she likes the taste. Honestly I hated the fetchy “go here, click this icon again” loop sometimes, it gets grindy, but then you suddenly unlock a new animation with her big ass bouncing up and down on some guy in a dark alley and you forget you were annoyed five minutes before. It’s that kind of game where you tell yourself “ok, last event” and then you’re still there, making her sneak out at night just to find someone else to use her. Shame turns into habit, habit into hunger, and the town becomes one big stage where she keeps learning she was never as innocent as she thought.

Game hits like that moment when you open your phone “just to check something” and suddenly it’s three galleries later and your dick hurts a bit but you’re still tapping. You start as this guy who thinks he’s got a sweet thing going with Nikki, cute fox-eared girl, soft as hell when she smiles, and your buddy Mini hanging around like comic relief. First few scenes feel all lovey and harmless, chatting, cheesy flirting, lame jokes you’ve probably said on WhatsApp yourself. It feels almost too normal, like a comfy mobile chat sim where you’re just vibing, one thumb on the screen, other hand nowhere near your pants. Yet.

Then the game starts twisting the knife. Slowly. No sudden jump scare NTR, more like a glass of water that keeps getting darker each tap. Nikki’s “just trying new things for work”, Mini “only helping out”, that kinda bullshit. You get those voyeur moments where you’re stuck watching, not doing, and it’s rough in a hot way. Your guy keeps sending clueless messages while you see what’s really happening in the background, and the contrast is brutal. They’re smiling in chat, but her body language in the CG says “I already crossed a line and I kinda like it”. The teasing is insane, like she’ll still call you “babe” while someone else’s hand is on her thigh just off-screen. When the camera finally slides down and you see it, it hits way harder because you already knew, but you didn’t want to know.

Since it’s kinetic, you don’t get to spam choices, which pissed me off at first, but actually works. Feels like a speedrun where the route is fixed, and your only job is to unlock every dirty CG as fast as possible. You’re not changing fate, you’re just optimizing your suffering. I was literally sitting there with one hand on the phone, other already busy, racing the fade-outs like “no no no, don’t cut yet, I know there’s a second pose here”. And there usually is. AI art is surprisingly effective for this style: bodies just a little too perfect, eyes a bit too shiny, like cheap gacha ads that suddenly get way too explicit. Sometimes the hands look funky or a leg goes weird and I kept pausing like, “who the fuck’s thigh is that?” then went right back to stroking five seconds later. It’s that kind of game. Cheating, corruption, masturbation fuel, all bundled into a story where you’re basically third-wheeling your own relationship, staring at your screen and letting it happen because you secretly wanted to see how far she’d fall anyway.

Eddie and Rachel look like that normal anime couple you scroll past on Instagram reels and think, “yeah, they’re fine, next.” Then the game quietly takes that “fine” and just grinds it into horny dust while you sit there, phone in hand, feeling way too involved for someone who technically isn’t even in the story. It’s a kinetic visual novel, so no menu maze, no stat grinding, no “good husband route if you say the right thing” safety net. You’re basically trapped in the passenger seat watching this dude’s life spiral while his wife slowly slips out of his reach, text by text, pic by pic, call by call. There’s something really nasty and kind of addictive about how normal it all starts: money problems, job gone to hell, loans that look familiar if you ever opened your banking app and just stared at the numbers like they’re a joke. Eddie’s trying to keep his job, trying to make the boss happy, trying to handle his dick failing him from stress, and Rachel’s trying to help, trying to bring cash, trying to stay that supportive wife… until the “trying” turns into late replies, camera angles that are just a bit too flattering, and clothes that are “for interviews” but you can tell they’re chosen to impress very specific eyes that are not yours.

Most of the tension lives in the phone. If you ever sunk too much time into WhatsApp or Discord drama, this hits way too close. Notifications feel like traps. You read Eddie scrolling, you see Rachel’s messages, and the timing of everything is just cruel. There’s that familiar teasing flavor where she’s still sweet, still calling him “hun” or whatever, but a random selfie has a bra that wasn’t there before, or a skirt that rides a little higher, and the background has some dude’s office in it. You’re not told directly, “hey, this is corruption now.” It’s more like you’re stuck doomscrolling the slow-motion cheating arc of your own relationship, except here you’re safe and also rock hard, which is messed up but that’s the point. The voyeur angle is strong, too. You’re not in the room while she’s touching herself, but you see the proof after. You don’t watch Eddie’s boss eye-fuck his wife in real time, but the CGs and the way the chat logs line up give your brain enough to fill the blanks on its own. At some point she’s not just helping with bills anymore; she’s “helping” in ways that clearly have nothing to do with loan interest, and everything to do with how far she’ll let them push her, and how far you’re willing to keep watching her fall. The wild part is how the romance never fully disappears. There are moments where you can tell she still loves him, still cares, even while she’s sending off pictures she would never have shared before, masturbating with someone else on call, or letting another guy “help her relax” because Eddie’s too worn out and too soft. It’s filthy, it’s cruel, it’s sad in a way that sits right next to horny instead of killing it, and the game never pauses to ask if you’re okay with that. It just keeps moving, like a group chat you know you should mute, but you sit there, staring at the screen, waiting for the next message anyway.

Phone Story looks harmless when it loads, like one of those cheap mobile chat sims you open on Chrome while pretending to check Slack. It is not harmless. It is that slow, nasty itch in the back of your head if you like watching “what if my girl had someone else in her DMs” kind of stuff. You play the husband who goes away, but honestly the main character is Lisa’s damn phone. Half the game is you reading her messages and deciding how much rope you want to give her, then pulling it back too late. You don’t click through some porn slideshow and right into “she’s on a couch with a giant dick in her.” The game takes its time. First it’s just flirty texts, a photo with “is this too much?” kind of teasing, her asking your opinion, your “friend” dropping those little comments that sound harmless until you reread them in incognito at work and realize you’re basically writing your own cuck script.

The pacing is weirdly strong for a messy hentai VN. Sometimes one choice just makes her send a slightly spicier selfie, sometimes it jumps right into a scene where she’s on video call, touching herself, trying to convince you it’s “for you” while that friend’s name keeps popping at the top of the screen. Classic anime-wife look, soft face, kinda innocent expression, but you can watch the corruption slide in bit by bit. She starts dressing more revealing, talking about “just hanging out” with him, a little wine, harmless cuddling, totally not cheating, right? Sure. Then you get those AI-looking CGs where she’s on her knees, lips glossy, your friend’s bbc in front of her mouth, and she’s still typing some sweet romantic bullshit to you with the other hand. The game loves making you stare at chat bubbles while she’s getting filled somewhere offscreen or in a small mirrored reflection. Proper voyeurism energy. The actual sex scenes hit all the usual spots, vaginal, anal, her pinned to a table, riding, messy facials, the whole thing, but the part that sticks is when she looks happy and guilty at the same time and you know it’s half for you and half for herself. Sometimes the writing slips and a line sounds like it came out of Google Translate, but honestly that kinda fits the vibe. On Android Chrome the text boxes get too big and cover half the art, which annoys the hell out of me, and if you tap too fast you skip a good line and there’s no quick log button right in your face, you have to dig for it. Also one route feels like it jumps from “maybe I’ll flirt” to “raw creampie from your buddy” in like two clicks, like the dev got horny and forgot the slow burn. Still, if you’re into netorare or softer netorase stuff, that moment when you tell her “yeah, explore a bit, just don’t forget me” and later you’re literally watching her try anal for the first time with someone else because you told her it’s fine, that hits way harder than it has any right to. And yeah, sometimes you tell her to stay faithful and the game almost seems annoyed, like “are you sure you don’t want to watch?” but then it gives you these surprisingly sweet romantic scenes where she masturbates with the phone propped up, moaning your name while she’s already mentally halfway to the neighbor’s bedroom. Not subtle at all, but that’s kind of the point.

Phil is the kind of old bastard you see in hentai and think, “nah, nobody is like that in real life,” and then the game spends about ten minutes proving you wrong. He used to be this self-proclaimed sex god, king of the boarding house, panties thief, the whole package, and now he’s broke, humiliated, and somehow still horny as fuck. The plot is simple on paper: someone screwed him over, he got kicked off his throne, and now he claws his way back up by joining the local mafia and turning his own house into this weird mix of crime HQ and pervy playground. It sounds ridiculous, and it is, but that’s kinda why it works. One moment you’re helping him deal with shady guys in suits, the next you’re peeking through keyholes to watch a girl ride a dildo she swears is “for back pain only.” The game just shrugs like, yeah, that’s normal. Helga, Olga, Mirian, Layla, Ronda, Phoebe… every name drops like some bootleg crossover of childhood cartoon parody and cheap soap opera, and they all come with their own flavor of fuckery. Helga being a tsun brick with big tits is probably the least surprising thing in here. The first time Phil accidentally walks in on Layla, ass in the air, playing with a toy in front of her phone camera, I actually paused and laughed, because of course the old pervert doesn’t back out. He just stands there, breathing heavy, and the game lets you drag that voyeur moment out longer than it should. The teasing is constant, insanely slow at times, like the devs are edging you on purpose. You grab tits, you grope asses, someone complains, someone moans, and the line between “oops” and “he totally meant that” is very blurry. It’s a sandbox structure, so you bounce around the house, repeat scenes, poke at characters until new stuff unlocks. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s just Phil being a creepy old fuck and you go “okay dude, relax,” but then you click the same option again anyway, so who’s the real problem here.

What I didn’t expect is how much the game leans into Phil being old, not in a sad way, but like a filthy legend past his prime trying to speedrun a comeback. He talks about his “glory days” while staring at a teen with a big ass bent over the kitchen counter and whatever sympathy you had just melts. And yet, the game still lets him be this weird charm bomb. He flirts with Milfs and teens like it’s all the same sport, one minute groping some big tits in a cramped hallway, the next sabotaging some poor bastard’s date so he can swoop in. There’s a scene with Olga where he “helps” her with yoga, and you can practically smell the sweat and desperation when he pretends his hands just “slipped” to her ass. Anal stuff shows up more casually than I expected too, like Phil is just ticking off a bucket list he started thirty years ago. The parody angle pops out more in small jokes: little nods to “Hey Arnold” style names, some girl literally named Ronda who looks like she walked out of a bootleg hentai version of a kids show, and the game never points at it directly, it just sits there and lets you be the one who feels dirty for noticing. Sex toys appear in random places, like a vibrator casually on a coffee table, and Phil’s reaction is always the same horny old man energy, half shocked, half delighted. I only really got annoyed at tiny things, like how the same teasing line repeats in certain scenes and the timing of some events feels off, you walk in, get blueballed, leave, come back, same half-finished seduction, like the universe is lagging. But then you hit a new voyeur moment with Phoebe showering, water dripping over huge tits pressed against the glass, and the irritation just fades into the background noise. Nothing feels polished, not the pacing, not the transitions, not even the way Phil talks, but in this type of game it kind of fits. It’s like dirty fanfic that escaped, got some code slapped on it, and decided to become your new guilty habit without asking.

Guy thinks he’s just going back for another boring uni semester, next thing he knows he’s dropped into dusty Goldfield County in 1896 with no phone, no Google Maps, nothing, and a whole town that looks like it’s stuck between a cowboy movie and a weird Victorian drama. The game throws you right into this “adapt or die” vibe, but then you realise adapting here mostly means choosing which gorgeous girl you’re going to fuck behind which saloon door. It’s all from his eyes, always this male POV thing, so every blowjob, every time you slide into someone raw, feels like you’re the one fumbling your way through this old-timey world. They play a lot with teasing too, girls bending over to pick up something in those long skirts but you still somehow see big ass and giant tits almost popping out, and you’re like “I thought they were more modest in 1896?” but okay, sure, history can be horny. One scene that stuck with me is this supposedly “innocent” church girl, still a virgin, who keeps pretending she doesn’t know what she’s doing while her hand is already stroking you under the pew, whispering that it’s a sin, but not stopping at all. The dev really likes that ahegao face stuff, so when she finally rides you in a dusty barn and you finish deep inside her, her expression is less “scared of God” and more “broken by dick” and it’s kind of hilarious and hot at same time.

The whole thing is this messy mix of sex and danger: gunfights in the street, duels, little RPG style choices about who you side with in town, and then suddenly you’re behind the brothel, getting sucked off by a prostitute you just paid with coins you earned from shooting bandits. There’s a sandbox feel where you wander around, trigger scenes by poking into random corners like a peeping idiot, and sometimes you just straight up catch two people fucking behind a shed. You can watch, you can join, or you can pretend you’re better than that and then five minutes later you’re balls deep in group sex with them anyway. I like how some girls are shy and act all romantic, wanting you to “court” them with flowers and slow kisses, and then when the clothes finally come off they spread their legs, ask for anal like it’s nothing, and push your head between their thighs for oral until they tremble. Other times the game just goes totally crude: interracial threesomes in a bathhouse, one girl riding your face while another grinds her big ass on your lap, you switching between mouths and pussies and asses, filling one with a creampie while the other one jerks you off and laughs about how much cum you have. There’s also stripping scenes in the saloon, where you can basically encourage a girl to go from dancing on stage to full-on prostitution, which will either turn you on or make you slightly uncomfortable, especially if you’re thinking “would I want my daughter to see this?” and then remembering this thing is absolutely not for kids and never will be. The combat is kind of clunky and the shooter parts feel like someone learned how to script guns from a YouTube video, but weirdly that roughness fits the place. It’s not polished, not neat, but when you’re pushing a farm girl against a fence, yanking up her skirt, sliding into her while she tries to stay quiet so her father doesn’t hear, the lack of perfection actually makes it feel more dirty and real. Honestly, I went in expecting more romance and got a full-time harem fantasy where almost every woman eventually spreads for you, and even though I keep saying I want “deep story” I still clicked every single masturbation scene just to see how far the game would go with voyeur stuff. Spoiler: pretty far.

Jimmy Awkward Adventures is exactly what it sounds like if your brain is a little broken from too much Reddit and too many horny “choose your own” stories. You’re stuck in a house with your landlady and a bunch of curvy roommates during lockdown, no job, no clue, and a dick that makes all the worst decisions for you. The whole vibe is this mix of “I’m such a loser” and “I accidentally saw her tits again, oops” that somehow becomes hot instead of just sad. You play as Jimmy, this gamer who kind of sucks at life, but then he gets access to this weird inner world, like his own limbo, where he can poke around in his desires and screw with how he reacts to the women around him. It feels like the dev took a horny CYOA thread and asked, “What if this guy actually had to live with the consequences of his bullshit?”

What I liked most is how the game treats awkwardness as foreplay. You’re peeking through doors, “accidentally” walking in while someone is changing, watching that thick milf landlady bend over the couch while pretending you’re focused on your phone. There’s this one scene where you’re in the hallway, and your landlady is arguing with somebody on speakerphone, pacing back and forth in a tight top that absolutely cannot be legal. Jimmy is half listening, half staring at her ass, and inside his head the limbo thing kicks in and gives you this tiny corrupt choice like: do you feel guilty, or do you lean into it and imagine what she looks like with nothing on. And if you push him toward the pervy side, he starts noticing details later, like the way her nipples press against the fabric when she leans close to scold him for being lazy. It’s subtle in a stupid, horny way, but you feel it building.

Roommates are their own chaos. You get that “almost family, but not really, but kind of, but also way too hot” energy. Sometimes the game flirts with that taboo in a way that feels like those sketchy stories people post, where everyone pretends nothing is weird. There’s this scene in the living room, late, where one of the girls is watching some trash reality show on Netflix, legs spread on the couch, big tits squeezed into this tight tank top, and you sit too close. Not on her lap, but like… one more inch and it would be. The dialog is stupid and funny, like she teases you for never getting laid, and if you push the right options, the teasing slowly becomes more personal, more “what type of body do you like, Jimmy” while she casually adjusts her bra so you can see basically everything. It’s not classy. It doesn’t even try. And that’s kind of the charm.

The humor is all over the place. Sometimes it hits like those memes where the dude is sitting with a massive hard-on under a blanket and pretending he’s “just resting,” and sometimes it feels like your uncle trying to make a sex joke during Christmas dinner, very cringe. There was a mini scene with a lotion bottle that made me laugh and roll my eyes at the same time, because the game goes all in on the obvious gag and then doubles down by letting you be a total creep about it later. The voyeur parts are where it gets the most fucked up in a good way: sneaking, peeking into rooms, watching your landlady in the shower, or one of the girls bending over while you hold your breath behind a door. The corruption angle slowly grows from small naughty thoughts into openly trying to get them to bend to your will, using their trust, the fake “roommate” family vibe, the fact that they think you’re harmless. Sometimes it feels too easy, like they jump from annoyed to horny a bit fast, but then again, this is porn, not therapy. And the bodies here are big, soft, heavy, meant to bounce, with big asses and big tits that look like they were built just to ruin Jimmy’s already fragile self-control. It’s stupid, horny, uncomfortable, and kind of perfect in the way a dirty fantasy you don’t tell anyone about is perfect.