College looks normal on the surface: crappy dorm beds, group chats blowing up over nothing, professors who talk like podcasts on 0.75x speed. Under all that, this game quietly hands you a body that does not stay put. You start as this regular 18-year-old guy, horny and stressed and barely holding it together, and then your skin starts crawling in ways that aren’t just “I need to jerk off before lecture.” Limbs stretch when you panic, muscles twist into inhuman shapes, and your reflection occasionally smiles before you do. The story doesn’t treat it like some heroic anime glow-up either. It feels dirty, like your own body is hitting on you and you can’t tell it to stop. That’s the fun of it, though: you’re constantly one bad choice away from accidentally showing everyone that the cute freshman with the big cock can also casually grow tentacles out of his back.

What really hooks you is how the erotic stuff grows out of that corruption instead of being tacked on. One scene you’re trying to stay calm in a packed lecture hall while your power reacts to a random boner, and the next scene you’re in a bathroom stall, literally reshaping yourself just enough to jerk off without leaving obvious traces, only to lose control and end up painting the walls with thick, barely-human cum. And when the game starts playing with gender shift, it doesn’t pretend it’s some wholesome identity journey. You slide into a soft, curvy version of yourself with big tits and a fat ass because it feels good and because you realize how easy it is to make people stare. There’s a kind of wrong thrill in turning into a stacked girl to get closer to some dude who’d never look at you as a guy, then tempting him into a messy titjob or sloppy blowjob while your mind is still very much male, buried somewhere under the bouncing flesh and ruined mascara. The writing leans into that twisted mix of arousal and shame: you’re hard even when you don’t have a dick, dripping in all the wrong places, surrounded by people who think you’re just another thirsty coed while something inside you writhes like a monster in heat.

Then there are the actual monsters, the things that gave you this power in the first place. They don’t just show up for fights; they slither into the sex. Tentacles that push under your clothes when you’re trying to act normal on a date, thick coils sliding between your transformed thighs while you’re grinding on some unsuspecting classmate, that awful, amazing moment where you realize you can open yourself in ways no human body should and take every inch of it. Scenes stack up where you’re pinned to a dark alley wall, or bent over some forgotten rooftop edge, body shifting to accommodate impossible girth, every hole filled and overflowing until you’re basically covered in cum, breathing hard and half laughing because part of you likes being used like that. Sometimes you turn it around and use your powers to be the monster instead, growing extra hands for a rough handjob, reshaping your mouth for deeper oral, pushing into a wet, stretched pussy while your skin ripples and your partner doesn’t even notice at first. The horror part never totally leaves; even when you’re riding a dick or taking a monster cock, there’s this background hum that you’re one wrong pulse away from snapping into something no longer human. And yet you keep pushing, keep masturbating with a body that can grow new angles to touch, chasing stronger orgasms while you try to pretend you’re just a normal freshman and not a walking sex-horror glitch waiting to explode all over the world.

Raven wakes up in Lustein with the kind of hangover you get from reality itself, not from alcohol. She knows three things: her name, that she’s a witch, and that everyone around her is way too horny for a Tuesday that doesn’t even exist. The town looks like some fantasy RPG town you half remember from an old JRPG, but somebody replaced half the NPC dialogues with porn hub comments and cult propaganda. On one corner there’s a prim girl in a hood preaching purity, on the next there’s a slime girl casually jerking off a tentacle beast in an alley, and both scenes feel normal after about ten minutes. The game doesn’t even apologize for it. You walk Raven around, poke your nose into “investigations,” and every lead about the mysterious Order somehow slides into another sex scene, another shady deal, another monster with way too much cock for its own skeleton.

What I liked is that Raven isn’t written like some clueless virgin protagonist who “accidentally” falls on dick every five steps. At first she’s confused, guarded, trying to treat every encounter like a real case file. You’re choosing dialogue options, digging for clues, following rumors about disappearances and strange symbols, but half the clue-givers are masturbating behind curtains or peeping through keyholes when you arrive. The voyeur stuff sneaks up on you: you accept a “stakeout quest,” thinking you’ll watch a corrupt priest meet his contact, and suddenly you’re crouched behind a crate, watching him get absolutely flooded by his own acolytes in a holy-bukkake ritual that looks like a blasphemous version of a Klimt painting. You can stay hidden, stroke yourself with Raven’s gloved hand while the scene unfolds, or reveal yourself and twist the ritual to your own kind of magic. The game pretends it is about an investigation, but it is actually about how far you push her corruption, how much you let Lustein leak into her soul and underwear. There’s turn based combat, sure, but it’s the kind of combat that laughs at normal balance. You’re casting spells that bind tentacles, seduce bosses, or literally masturbate mid-battle to charge a corruption bar that works like mana and moral decay at the same time. An early battle with a raven-headed knight is still stuck in my head: the fight starts like normal, you exploit his weak point, suddenly his armor snaps away and what’s under it could never fit in that plate mail. You can finish him “properly” with fire and hexes, or stun him using a seduction stance that turns the screen into a slow striptease, then ride him until he swears fealty with a mouth full of your magic. There is this absurd tension between “I am saving this world” and “I am absolutely getting railed by it.”

The outfits are not just costumes; they feel like alternate timelines for Raven. You change from a modest witch dress into a shredded leather top and thigh-high boots, and the game quietly adjusts how people react. That prim Order nun earlier suddenly stops seeing you as possible recruit and starts looking at you like potential prey, cornering you later in a side chapel and suggesting “purification” that involves ropes, candles, and her tongue taking a pilgrimage between your legs. Another time I put Raven into a delicate, almost scholarly robe, and went to a monster-infested forest. Bad idea. The tentacle plants there literally respond differently, coiling around her as if they’ve found a rare flower and need to pollinate it from every angle. You’re given choices, but a lot of them feel like you’re only choosing how filthy things get, not if. One quest has you investigating rumors about a masked witch corrupting villagers. Plot twist: that witch is basically you from the future if you dive too far into the hentai logic of Lustein. Fighting her in turn-based battle is weirdly arousing and tragic: magic circles, mirrored incantations, her taunting you with what you will become, then pinning you down with living chains while she pours her “knowledge” into your mouth. The best part is I hated some tiny UI things, like how the log sometimes hides a line you want to reread during a particularly heavy lesbian ritual, and I will complain about this in my head forever, but at the same time, when Raven kneels in a ruined library, covered in monster cum, reading sigils from a soaked grimoire while fingering herself to unlock a new spell, I forget everything else. It feels like those old fantasy paperbacks where the margins are full of notes from some horny reader before you, except now you’re the one writing them on Raven’s skin.

Currently, the game is a work in progress, and you’re experiencing the first-ever public demo. Please leave your comments - they are crucial and I’m open to all your ideas and critiques. Your input fuels the game’s growth and pushes it closer to its full potential.

You can help speed up the game’s evolution by pledging your support on Patreon. Find all the info about supporting the project at https://www.patreon.com/yurrri.

The goal is to create a captivating experience that leaves you wanting to dive deeper into the storyline and mechanics. The journey has just started, so there will be plenty more twists, turns, and fresh content ahead.

Feel free to push the limits and see where the game takes you, all while providing your open feedback. Your involvement through critique makes a real difference and helps craft the best possible experience.

Thanks for diving into this first glimpse of the game and joining the community. Savor the current build and prepare yourself for an expanding world filled with new challenges and pleasures.

You start as this clueless 18-year-old thrown into Hogwarts University, and the first thing that hits you isn’t some epic prophecy or dark lord, it’s how horny literally everyone is under the “serious academic” surface. It feels like some fanfic writer drank too much coffee and said, “what if all that sexual tension in the books actually went somewhere” and then just never stopped typing. You walk in, you get sorted, professors try to act professional, but every corridor, every classroom, every dorm has that vibe. You’re supposed to be learning spells and building stats like in a normal RPG, but half the time you’re thinking, “ok, if I raise my charisma two more points, can I finally convince Hermione to stop pretending she doesn’t want it?” The game knows exactly why you’re here. It just plays coy for a while, then opens up like a fucking floodgate.

What I really liked is how the “main” story keeps its pants on longer than you expect. You can just play it as a weird school-life dating sim where nothing too crazy happens, just some flirting, touching, maybe a blowjob in a quiet tower if you push things. But if you start poking around side quests, oh boy. You find that weird basement club where somebody is studying mind control “purely for research”, and next thing you’re watching a good little girl like Ginny suddenly agree to spread her legs for your big cock because someone tweaked her thoughts. Or you’re helping Luna “understand male anatomy” in some abandoned classroom, and she’s on her knees, eyes shining, drool on her chin, trying to take you all the way down while mumbling something about “proper field work”. The scene where Nymphadora Tonks shapeshifts her body a bit just to fit you deeper while she rides you is the kind of detail that sticks in your head longer than it should. And then there’s Hermione, trying to stay in control, correcting you on spell names while you’re burying yourself in her tight virgin pussy for the first time. She tries to keep talking about exams, then she just breaks, clings to you, and you feel her shudder around you. That mix of “smart girl losing her composure” is porn gold, sorry.

The game is kinda evil with how many routes it hides behind simple choices. You joke with one girl instead of another, suddenly you’re tangled in some NTR chain where your “pure” crush is sneaking off to get reamed by a tentacled monstrosity from the forbidden section while you stand outside the door hearing those wet, sloppy sounds. Or you focus on a milf professor, help her grade papers, and there’s this small moment where she guides your hand to her tits while explaining some spell like it’s nothing. Later she’s on her desk, skirt up, ass exposed, begging you to go in her ass because “no one has to know if it leaves no marks”. The anal scenes actually feel different from the vaginal ones, not just copy paste text, and sometimes the animation even lines up with the dirty dialog in a way that made me stop and smile like an idiot. Not everything is that polished though. On mobile, swiping through menus sometimes makes the wrong dialogue option light up and I keep thinking “I’ll report that bug” but I just don’t. There’s a whole thing with a trans character too, where you can either be a supportive, horny bastard and enjoy her cock and tits together in a messy oral-threesome combo, or act like a jealous shit and push her into cheating stuff with other students. Some of the cheating scenes hit weirdly hard. One moment you’re happily dating, next you walk into a room and she’s full of someone else, moaning your name by accident. I wish the pregnancy stuff was a bit more reactive to all that, like more scenes where girls rub their swollen belly while you cum in them again, but whatever, it still scratches that breeding itch enough. And I swear the dorm hallway makes this one sound effect that annoys me every single time, but I keep playing anyway.

Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

This one feels like some horny yaoi doujin artist got drunk, played a couple old-school RPGs on an emulator, and said “ok, but what if everything had dicks and bad decisions.” You start off in this starving farm village where two boys basically cling to each other to stay sane and horny at the same time. Rascal is your main dumbass, all emotions and abs, totally obsessed with his childhood friend, convinced “love will fix everything” while monsters are literally shoving tentacles into people two screens away. The village gets fucked over by the kingdom, everyone dragged off to this place called Satan’s Prison, and you go from cuddly poor romance to “gay disaster shonen hero” in like five clicks. It shouldn’t work, but it kinda does, because the game never slows down to ask if you’re ok with it. It just throws you from one weird situation to another, like “oh no, my whole village is enslaved, also this femboy with cat ears wants to milk me now.”

The RPG part is there, obviously, but it’s less about strategy and more about “how many bad horny choices can I stack before the next scene.” You wander around, smack some monsters, then suddenly you’re getting pinned by a monster girl with too many legs who calls you “bride” while the censor bars do their little pathetic job of “hiding” stuff. They don’t hide much, by the way. The censored bits feel like those cheap mosaic edits in old Japanese hentai, where your brain happily fills the gaps and makes it filthier. Combat is kind of basic, but the game keeps dropping little kinks in the middle of it, like a skill that clearly only exists so some tentacles have an excuse to grab you, or a “training” scene with the elder that pretends to be about power but is just an excuse to make Rascal whimper and kneel. And that elder? Absolute menace. He talks like a wise old sage, but every time he “helps” you get stronger, your clothes come off and someone ends up leaking something. There’s one moment where you’re supposed to be grieving, super dramatic, and the game just throws a futa demon in your face like “cheer up, kid, suck this.” It should break the mood, but the mood was already broken the second a femboy trap in frilly shorts called you “onii-chan” in a prison corridor.

What surprised me is how the romance between the two boys somehow stays sweet even when everything else goes off the rails. You’re getting railed by tentacles, seduced by monster girls with dripping tongues, teased by smug femboys with censored bulges you can clearly see the shape of, and still the game keeps reminding you that Rascal just wants to save his guy from Satan’s Prison and kiss him in peace. It’s almost annoying how earnest it gets, like “bro, I’m literally covered in slime right now, don’t talk about eternal love,” but that contrast makes the filthy parts hit harder. One minute you’re in town buying potions on autopilot, next minute there’s a scene in a barn with a shy trap character who pretends to be innocent until you check under the skirt and then suddenly you’re the one getting pushed against the wall. The pacing is a mess, the morality is non-existent, some scenes feel way too long and there’s one sound effect in a tentacle scene that honestly made me want to mute my speakers forever, but when the game goes full absurd horny anime, it kind of owns it. Best way to play it? Turn your brain volume to low, let every wrong dialogue choice happen, lose on purpose a few times to see what the monsters do to you, and don’t rush to save anyone. Satan’s Prison isn’t going anywhere, and those tentacles are way too motivated.

This one feels like somebody grabbed the old Hogwarts trainer thing, threw a bunch of filthy mods in a cauldron, shook it, forgot to stir properly, then accidentally created something that is half disaster, half “holy shit I need to replay that scene with the sound on max.” It is messy, yeah, but in a good, horny way. You’re this male protagonist pretending to be all serious and academic while you basically run an underground sex management project around the school. Classes are just an excuse to push girls into new “tasks,” and every time you think you saw all the kinks, the game drops some weird potion or outfit that changes the whole vibe of a scene. One time I clicked the wrong dialogue option with Hermione, thought I’d get another cheap handjob loop, and suddenly she’s in this humiliation path where she has to strip in front of a crowd and the crowd noise sounds like someone recorded a Twitch chat in heat, all layered whispers and low laughs. The way the moans sit on top of that is surprisingly well mixed, not too loud, like they actually thought about it. Then the next scene, same girl, the slapping sound on her ass is like it was recorded with a potato, totally different quality. It’s charming and annoying at same time.

What the game does best is this mix of corruption and voyeur stuff with very specific girls. Like Luna, for example. Her scenes have this floaty, airy soundtrack behind them, almost too soft, so when the groping starts and she’s being pushed into exhibitionism, the tiny gasp sounds feel extra sharp. There’s a bit where you use a potion, her tits swell up, and she’s lactating on the staircase while students “walk by” off screen. You don’t see them, but you hear these faint footsteps and the dull murmur of people trying not to look. That tiny background murmur? That shit stuck in my head more than the actual titfuck. In another path I had Tonks accidentally slip into a futa form while cosplaying a student, and the first time she pulls out her cock the game hits you with this sticky, squelchy sound that you usually only hear in cheap hentai games, but here it kinda works because everything else is already dirty. Then thirty seconds later a blowjob scene kicks in and the wet mouth audio loops slightly off beat with the animation and I couldn’t unhear it anymore. Suddenly I’m not thinking “hot” but “can someone please trim that loop in Audacity.” By the way, the tentacle scenes are strangely quiet. You’d expect gross slime sound, right? But instead there’s more focus on the girl’s breathing and the cuffs clinking, very ASMR. I replayed one Luna tentacle scene just to listen how the pitch of her moans rises when the text mentions a new tendril inside her ass. Whoever synced that did it by hand, I’m almost sure, because it goes slightly out of sync if you click too fast through the dialogue.

The group sex events get wild in theory, with mind control and blackmail pushing girls who would never agree into this pile of bodies in some hidden classroom, but sound wise they’re kind of a mess. Too many moans at same time, no clear layering, sometimes Hermione and Cho share the same voice sample so you hear the same little whimper coming from two sides of the screen. It’s funny once, then you start noticing it everywhere. On the other hand, the simple masturbation scenes where you peek from a keyhole or from behind a statue are weirdly intimate. Just one girl, some rustle of clothing, fingers sliding over skin, the creak of an old bed in the dorm, and the occasional little frustrated sigh when she can’t cum yet because the corruption value is not high enough. That small detail of the bed creak, actually, reminded me of an old RPGMaker porn thing I played on Newgrounds, where the only good asset was the sound of the wooden floor. Same energy here. The game has this “evolving outfits” idea where the same uniform slowly turns more slutty as you push them further, and it affects not only visuals but also the little cloth sounds and jewelry jingles. Spanking someone in a plain robe sounds dull and flat, do it again when she’s basically in a harness and stockings and suddenly you hear the slap, the buckle rattle, the tiny ring on her nipple bouncing. No idea if that was intentional, but I noticed. There are things that straight up feel unfinished, like some anal scenes with Susan that have no proper sound at all, just generic loop, but then you’ll hit a lesbian scene in the showers where the echo of their voices against the tiles is so nice I actually paused my Spotify to hear it clean. It’s that kind of game. Half broken, half genius, and somehow the sound makes the dirtiest parts feel even more wrong in a very good way.

Your adventurer reaches the edge of the known world, pockets light, libido heavy, and the first thing the frontier throws at you is a horny ghost nun who wants to “purify” you with her tongue. That’s pretty much the tone here. One moment you’re juggling turn based combat against frost demons and corrupted paladins, thinking about stats and gear, and the next you’re flat on your back getting milked by a smug futa angel with more cock than patience. The world feels like someone mashed together a classic text RPG and a filthy sex diary, then forgot which part was supposed to be serious. You pick a body, tweak your tits, cock, ass, whatever, and the game never shuts up about it. Touch anything strange, drink something glowing, pray to the wrong goddess, and suddenly your “normal” hero is a lactating, tentacle-kissed, maybe-sissified mess who still pretends to care about saving people.

What I really liked is how the lewd stuff slips inside the normal exploration. You’re walking across some frozen pass, low on HP, trying to solve a simple puzzle to open a shrine door, and the puzzle is basically “how many holes are you willing to offer.” Pick “none” and you get a rough fight. Offer your mouth and you get a blowjob scene with a smug monster priest who uses your throat like a toy, then casually heals you. Offer everything and it turns into full multiple penetration, your character drooling, ahegao eyes rolling, demons laughing while they fill every opening until your corruption stat jumps. There is this one encounter with a tentacle-infested hot spring where you can just peek and voyeur from the rocks, stroking yourself in text, or you can climb in and end up being used as a living onahole, tentacles pumping your ass and pussy while another one wraps your throat and squeezes until you cum hands free. The game calls it “relaxing.” It is not relaxing. I replayed that scene four times.

Sex here isn’t “you won, here’s your prize.” Sometimes losing a battle means ***, sometimes winning still means ***, and sometimes teasing is worse than either. A smug milf cultist pins you down, edges you with her hand until you’re begging, then just leaves you with blue balls and a new fetish. A big bearded dilf paladin can either be your stern protector or your strict dom, depending how submissive you play it, and he actually spanks you mid-dialogue if you talk back too much. There’s corruption arcs where a cute virgin hero slowly becomes the village’s favorite cumdump, or turns into a futa demon queen who keeps her own harem on leashes, tits leaking milk while she uses toys on chained-up angels. Lesbian scenes feel playful and nasty at the same time, especially with monster girls who pretend to “teach” you but actually want to ride your face until you pass out. And then there’s the awkward stuff, like an early puzzle that just throws three sex options at you with barely any buildup, or a joke about religious “purity tests” that hits a bit too close, and you sit there wondering why your mobile browser is showing a possessed priestess forcing your character to confess every dirty thought while she fingers them under the altar. Still, a second later, you’re fighting an ice beast and laughing at some dumb, horny line, then opening your stats screen to check how much more corrupted you can get before the next transformation scene kicks in. It should feel too much. It doesn’t. Or maybe it does and that’s why it works.

Everything in this game feels like someone took the “wizard school after the war” idea, then slowly twisted it with horny fingers, one scene at a time. You play as this guy who survived the big final battle, and suddenly you’re thrown back into school life, but it’s not really school like you remember from the books. The tone is quieter, heavier, very “post-war hangover”, with ghosts of trauma in the background, and also a lot of naked people in corridors. What hooked me is how slow it starts: long conversations in dim classrooms, walking around the castle, the sense that characters actually lived through shit. They’re tired, bitter, horny, lonely. I like that kind of pacing: you don’t just click twice and boom, blowjob. Sometimes you’re stuck in a talk with Hermione about ethics of rewriting fate, and you can feel she’s half grieving, half curious how far she can push her own limits. It’s hot in such a weird, broken way. And then the next moment she’s on her knees under a library table, and you’re trying not to laugh because the game doesn’t even pretend to be subtle.

The fantasy side goes pretty wild, but in a way that still feels grounded in that “magic school with rules” thing. You get these scenes where elven girls show up as part of some rebuilding exchange program, all proud and formal, talking about treaties, then you click through a few choices and suddenly an elf is jerking you off in a dusty storage room while arguing about wand regulations. There’s a tentacle bit too, of course there is, and I kind of hate that I enjoyed it. It’s not just monster porn thrown at your face. There’s this old forbidden spell experiment under the school, drifting and half-alive, and when it finally touches one of the girls, the writing slows down like it’s describing an unwanted memory that slowly turns into desire. Her clothes peel away like they’re losing a fight, she gets pinned wide open, slick and breathing fast, and the protagonist is both turned on and terrified. It’s fucked up, but not cheap. Then again, sometimes the game feels cheap, like when a serious moment about loss turns into instant tits-out stripping minigame and weirdly clunky blowjob animation. I still replayed that scene three times, so clearly I’m not innocent here. What I keep coming back to is the world-building: the dorm gossip about who fucked a “reformed” dark creature in the forest, staff meetings that hint at old grudges, Hermione pretending to be above it all while letting you slide your hand between her thighs during a “study session”, her voice cracking when you finally push inside her on that creaky classroom desk. The art is rough in places, some faces look a bit off, but somehow that makes the filthier scenes even nastier, like fan art that went too far and never looked back. It’s romantic and soft and disgusting and sweet and stupid, all at the same time, and I keep telling myself I’m here for the time travel plot when I’m clearly staying for the way she moans around your cock during a sloppy blowjob behind a half-broken statue of the founder.