You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Pokestars is basically what happens when someone looks at the old anime and goes, “yeah but what if they all wanted to fuck the trainer instead of chase badges,” and then actually commits to the bit. You’re this dude who somehow lands in this luxury pokemon training resort that’s less about ranked battles and more about which girl you’re making moan behind the stadium later. It’s played like one of those point and click dating sims where you bounce between locations on a map, poke on stuff, poke on girls, poke on buttons, in that order. May, Misty and Dawn are the main stars here, and they’re not subtle. First time you meet Misty she already has that “I’m gonna test you” energy, except it’s not a gym test, it’s whether you can keep up with her mouth while the battle scoreboard is still flickering in the background. It’s funny because the game pretends to care about rankings and resort rules, but after like ten minutes you’re mostly just planning who you’ll fuck in which corner of the map and if you can trigger another animated scene before clicking through the dialog you half read.

What I liked a lot is that it doesn’t waste too much time teasing without payoff. You win a fight? You’re not getting a high five; you’re getting on your knees or putting her on hers. There are full-on oral scenes where you literally watch her head move, with voice lines that are not studio-perfect, but that kinda makes it better, feels more like a weird fan project that got horny and never stopped. Vaginal scenes too, with those 3dcg bodies pressed together and enough motion to not feel static. Sometimes the moans don’t sync perfectly with the thrusts and it made me laugh, but I still didn’t skip it, so whatever. The resort itself works like a hub: pool, rooms, arenas, those spots you click just to see if someone’s there to jump your dick. You get some dating sim flavor on top of it all, little choices in dialog, giving attention to one girl over another, pretending you care about who has the strongest team when you’re actually just angling for a threesome later. There’s even this moment where Dawn corners you in a hallway after a match, her voice goes low and you can hear the slight echo like they actually thought about the room, and suddenly she’s on her back on a bench, panties around one ankle, you pushing in while she still has her gloves on. That kind of detail is the thing that keeps you clicking “next” even when a line of text is kinda cheesy.

The voiced parts are the big hook and also the thing that sometimes makes it feel janky in a good way. May has this cute, eager tone when she goes down on you, wet sounds and breath mixing, but then every once in a while a line sounds like it was recorded in another room or on a different mic. It pulled me out for half a second and then there’s a close-up of her lips sliding down your shaft and suddenly I don’t care anymore. Harem angle is strong too, not just one-on-one stuff. You get those scenes where two of them tag-team you, one sucking while the other rides, like a porn parody that forgot to blur anything. And the point and click side makes it feel a bit like a scavenger hunt for sex; “if I go to the resort hot springs at this time, will Misty be there? Will she be naked already? Can I trigger that one scene where she sits on my face first and then demands I pound her right after?” Sometimes the pacing drags and you’re just clicking through resort menus looking for the next bit of action instead of actually doing trainer things, but then the game throws another animated fuck sequence at you and your brain forgives it instantly. It’s not classy, it’s not subtle, it’s literally fan fantasy turned into a horny resort simulator, and yeah, it works.

Pussymon: Prologue feels like someone took old-school monster catching, glued hentai on top of it, then said “yeah, plot twist every five minutes, why not?” and just went with it. You start thinking it’s gonna be a cheap Pokémon parody with tits, then suddenly you’re counting how many times the game tricks you into thinking something sweet is happening before it turns horny, then kinda serious, then horny again. I kept a little note in Google Keep just to track the “wait, what?” moments. First time a cute creature turns into a full-size girl and basically throws herself at you for “training”, I honestly laughed, then realized the game is dead serious about this whole “catch, fuck, repeat” vibe. It’s dirty as hell, but in that goofy Flash-game way where you can’t tell if the dev is trolling you or low-key a genius.

What I like most is how the story pretends to be important, then suddenly you’re grinding affection just to unlock a new sex scene and forget what the quest was even about. One quest starts like a normal fetch thing, but the reward is basically “thanks, now fuck this monster girl in three different positions”. It’s not subtle. The “bag” with names looks like a normal inventory at first, but then you realize you’re basically collecting a private harem like it’s a pokedex made by a horny teenager. I kept opening it in another Chrome tab by mistake instead of my Discord chat, and every time I thought “ok, I’ll just check stats quickly”, nope, ended up rewatching one of the scenes instead. There’s a weird little pattern where you expect a big battle, but the game just throws you some awkward dialogue and suddenly a blowjob scene. And then next time you expect sex, it gives you an actual battle. That back and forth feels stupid and fun at same time, like a bad fanfic that somehow works.

The lewd stuff is pretty direct. No slow burn, no romance, just “here’s a new pussymon, now see what holes she has”. Boobs in your face, moaning, cum everywhere, the usual, but with that cheap flash charm where nothing is too polished so it feels kinda raw. Some of the girls are cute, some look like they escaped from a bootleg Final Fantasy porno mod, and a few made me pause the game and think, “ok, I did not expect to be into this thing with tentacles and animal ears, what the hell is wrong with me.” One tiny thing annoyed me: sometimes the text boxes move a bit too fast when you’re actually trying to read the joke, but when you spam click to get to the porn, they stay on screen like they’re mocking you. I also kept expecting one of the “easter eggs” to be a real hidden scene, and instead I just tripped over some small gag that made me smirk once and never again. Still, I like how messy it all feels. It’s not trying to be classy. It’s horny, kinda dumb, full of surprise fuck scenes, a little bit like opening a random hentai folder someone shared on Mega and finding just enough weird shit inside to keep going “ok, one more, then I stop”.

That little orange lizard is supposed to be a “pokemon”, right? Charmander or whatever, except here he’s not doing any battling, he’s basically using his tail fire like a neon sign that says “come get fucked”. The whole thing is set in this weird half-bar, half-club background that looks like someone mashed up a cheap cocktail place with a kid’s show, then just dropped a thirsty furry girl right in the middle. She’s got ridiculous tits, big enough that the animators keep bouncing them around like they’re testing the physics engine more than anything else. You don’t get some long build up, it just kind of cuts to her already spread on the bar stand, legs up, totally begging for it, like we skipped three scenes of foreplay and went straight to “put it in already”.

The “pokemon” jumps in, cock out, and the proportions are insane in a good, brain-melting way. It’s this smooth, thick shaft that looks almost too big for his small body, and when he pushes into her, you get that nice squish of her pussy stretching around him. They actually did the penetration angle pretty well: you see his hips slam against her ass, his balls slapping her with each thrust, and her belly shifting like he’s hitting deep. She’s moaning like a cheap hentai dub, a bit over the top, but it kinda works here because it’s not trying to be classy at all. There’s a moment where she grips the edge of the bar, claws digging in, tits bouncing while he just drills her from behind, tail flicking, and it’s stupidly hot. The camera keeps swinging between her face, her tits, and that wet, shiny cock sliding in and out, and you can almost feel the sticky bar surface under her back, like she’s going to slide right off if he fucks any harder.

And then the cum. Of course. He finally slams in deep and you see this thick load pump straight inside her, proper creampie, with her pussy tightening around him, little spurts leaking out as he keeps grinding like he doesn’t want to pull out yet. Some of it spills down onto the bar stand, dripping between her ass cheeks, and she just lies there, panting, legs still trembling while his cock gives one last twitch. It’s messy, it’s shameless, it’s furry porn with a cartoon lizard and a big titted bitch getting absolutely stuffed, no fake romance, no story, just raw “I’m gonna breed you right here where everyone orders drinks” energy. If you’re into that mix of cute mascot character turned fuck machine and a needy furry girl who clearly loves being used like a cum bucket on public furniture, the whole thing goes straight for your brain and lower parts at the same time, and doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

Ash is a horny idiot in this one, and I mean that in a good way. The whole thing feels like someone took the old Pokémon anime, mixed it with a dumb meme thread from Reddit, then said “ok but what if it was all about fucking Sarena instead of catching anything.” You start as this slightly older Ash, already a trainer, already a bit cocky, but still dense as hell about romance. Sarena is glued to him, you can see she wants his dick from like the first scene, and he’s out here talking about training strategy while her skirt keeps riding higher. The game keeps playing with that contrast. One moment they’re arguing about which move is best for a gym fight, next scene she’s pressing him against a wall in some random Pokémon Center corridor and asking very clearly if he wants her. It sort of pretends to be wholesome romance for like one scene, and then the clothes just… vanish.

What caught me off guard is how the “puzzle” stuff is not really about brain work, it’s more like soft foreplay with extra steps. There’s one scene where you’re moving little icons around, matching types and moves, and the more correct chains you make, the more Sarena’s outfit changes. At first it’s just a jacket off, then stockings get ripped, then suddenly she’s in this insane lingerie that no normal trainer would wear outdoors. I actually got stuck on a really simple tile rotate thing because I was looking at her ass on the side panel, twitching every time the CG updated. It annoyed me so much because the rotation was like 90 degrees off and I kept misclicking, and the game never explains the rules properly, it just expects your horny brain to figure it out. Then, right after you finally solve it, the reward scene is Sarena pushing Ash down on the grass and riding him like he’s a mount, all while teasing him about being better at “other kinds of training.” That whole bit is ridiculously hot and also kind of stupid, in a good way. Or maybe not good, I’m not even sure.

Combat is there, but it’s basically foreplay with hit points. You pick moves, watch a short sequence, and the actual important part is that Sarena comments on how “worked up” he gets when he wins. There’s this one battle where if you choose a more reckless, high damage combo, Sarena later pins Ash to a tree and says she likes his aggressive side, then starts rubbing him through his pants while talking about strategy like nothing is happening. And if you play it safer in that same fight, she instead cuddles up in the tent afterward and slowly talks him into undressing, like a slow burn scene that suddenly turns filthy when she climbs on top and starts using her mouth first, then more. The game pretends your choices matter a lot, but actually the result is always Sarena getting fucked silly, only the route to reach that changes a bit. I loved that, and at the same time it made everything feel cheap, like “wow, my big moral choice just decides if she rides him facing forward or backward.” Still, when Ash finally grabs her hips and slams into her from behind while she’s half bent over her travel bag, moaning about how she doesn’t care about badges anymore, only him, I completely forgot I wanted something smarter from it. He is still a virgin idiot in some scenes, and somehow also a sex god in others, but whatever. It’s horny Pokémon parody brain, not science.