Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

Kasumi in this thing looks like she walked straight out of DOA and into someone’s filthy headcanon, and I kind of respect that. She’s got that soft face and then the dev went “ok, now everything else is pure porn”. Big tits barely sitting inside the outfit, huge thighs brushing together every time she moves, nipples almost cutting through the fabric when you zoom in. The camera isn’t shy at all. You’re not dealing with some slow tease where you need ten minutes of clicking before anything naughty happens. You poke, you prod, you drag, and the game reacts. Sometimes with a moan, sometimes with a sound that honestly feels ripped from a totally different scene, like they spliced Jaina’s voice in there by mistake and went “eh, close enough”. There’s sound, but it swings between “oh damn, that’s hot” and “why does she sound like she’s in a hallway in Orgrimmar”. Still, when you’re grinding her around, you stop caring about it pretty fast.

Bass shows up like this big wall of meat. Not even pretending. Dude feels like someone pressed “Garrosh but porn” in a generator and just rolled with it. Massive orc energy even if he’s not green. And once his cock is out, it’s just pure cartoon logic. Huge, thick, veins popping, tip almost the same size as Kasumi’s whole hand. There’s this moment where you line him up between her tits, and her big soft breasts wrap around him so tight the model clips slightly at the bottom. That tiny glitch made me laugh, then I did it three more times because the view from the top angle is fucking amazing. You can switch the position, shove her up against him, ride him, push her ass up, whatever, and half the fun is just seeing what will jiggle this time and what will bug out. I nudged her thigh a bit too far once and it snapped back like rubber, like old-school WoW ragdoll, and for some reason that made the whole scene feel even dirtier.

What actually surprised me is how fast the game gives control. No boring tutorial walls, no giant text blocks about lore or whatever. It expects you already know who Kasumi and Bass are, or that you don’t care and just want to grab her hips and start. You adjust angles, play with speed, listen to her breathing go from soft to full-on whimper when you slam her down. Sometimes the sound doesn’t quite match the motion, like she moans hard when you barely touch her, and then stays quiet when you’re pounding inside her. It annoyed me for one second, then I was dragging his huge cock across her big areola and watching her tits bounce and honestly forgot what I was complaining about. There’s this one shot, when you bring the camera low and see his thick shaft disappear between her thighs while her cleavage spills out, that feels like someone’s dirty World of Warcraft crossover fanart finally got budget. I kept waiting for something more “serious” to happen, like a plot or some clever twist, but no. It’s just you, Kasumi, this walking muscle tank of a man, huge dick, heavy tits, slick sounds in your headphones, and way too many ways to make her ride until your hand gets tired before the game does.

Jill shows up here like she just walked out from a very wrong version of Resident Evil and forgot her bra on the way. The game throws you in with her right away, no slow warm up, no “build the base, collect the wood” nonsense. It is just Jill, too tight top, nipples clearly fighting for freedom, big tits that almost look painful, and you clicking like an idiot trying to see how far you can push her. She still has that “professional” face from the original games, like she came to clear a zombie nest, but the camera is fixed on everything except her tactical skills. Her cleavage is basically the main character. At first I thought it would be just a quick click-and-forget porn thing, but then I realized I was actually trying different choices to see how she reacts, because the way she moans changes with what you do. Sometimes soft and frustrated, sometimes straight up porn actress. It is dirty, but in that “fan artist who had too much free time” way.

Her body is ridiculous in that classic horny-fan way. Breasts are huge, round, heavy, with big areolas that almost distract you more than the penetration. When she bends a little, they move with this slow gravity that made me stare like some teenager again. The thighs are thick and strong, like she could crush a zombie skull between them, or your head, or both if you are lucky. There is one moment where you shift angle and her ass and thighs fill the whole screen, cock sliding between, and I actually forgot to click for a second. The guy's dick is big enough that in any normal story she would say “nope” and walk away, but here of course she just opens up slowly, twitching, moaning, breathing heavier. First thrust feels almost “wrong” in a good way, you see her stretch around it, her face half pain half horny, and then she gets into it. That switch from “this is too much” to “harder” is honestly the hottest part. I wish the game let you be more gentle with her, take it slow and romantic, but it keeps pushing you back toward rougher rhythm and deeper angles, like the game itself is horny and impatient.

The sound helps a lot, even if it is not perfect. Her moans sometimes feel a bit too clean for how messy the sex looks, but there are small breaths and little gasps when the cock hits deep that feel almost too intimate for a porn game. Wet sounds are there, of course, loud enough that I had to lower my volume because my stupid VLC habit made everything louder in browser too. One detail that stuck in my head: when you speed up the rhythm, her voice slightly loses control, she starts making these broken little sounds that sound less like a porn scene and more like someone really getting fucked hard. I didn’t expect that. I’m more of a “vanilla, lights off, soft kissing” person, so the whole huge dick, huge tits, Jill being turned into fucktoy vibe is a bit too much for my normal taste. But at the same time, there is something very honest in how shameless it is. No zombies, no saving the world, just Jill Valentine pinned, filled, sweating, breasts bouncing, big areolas shining with sweat, taking it again and again because that is the whole point. I kept wishing for one small cuddle scene after, just a quiet moment, but this game is not here for that. It wants you focused on her body, her cleavage, that thick cock pushing in, and the small changes in her voice when she finally stops pretending to be the tough S.T.A.R.S. officer and just moans like a slut.